Me and my girlfriend had been going out for over 2 years and we have been pretty good except for the past few months.
To get to the point. She got a new job and our hours are not exactly always compatible. With school and new job our little dates are becoming less frequent. To top that all off she use to babysit her neighbors kids and was asked if she can do a weekly babysitting duty.
I was against it because first off I was a candidate for a good promotion but turned it down because of the hours (conflicting with hers) and thought that it was for our relationship (plus she kept buggin me about it). Now when i told her to say no she said she doesnt think she could say no...
I just think its unfair for her to ask me to make a sacrifice but wen i ask her for the same type of sacrifice she always says its different!
What should I do? I love her and dont want to break up but i feel like i put the relationship first and would like the same type in return.
2007-03-16 04:51:14 · 12 answers · asked by Flipstar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for the answers...
But no i really dont think breaking up is the answer at this point. We have discussed our future as far living together and kids.
2007-03-16 06:14:09 · update #1
I believe you are right, that she asked you to make a major sacrifice (getting promoted doesn't happen every day and can hurt your career in the long run) and the babysitting is a "part time" committment to begin with. Even though she feels a certain obligation to her neighbors (and probably even loves the kids) she needs to put her needs and life first (which should include her life with you). It sounds as if she's someone who doesn't know how to say No. You and she need to sit down at the kitchen table, grab a pot of hot tea, no interruptions (no phone, tv, NOTHING) and talk about these issues. It may help you if you write down what you want to say or ask before you sit down. And see what she says about these issues. She needs to set her priorities straight. And if she is sure they are straight now, then you need to decide if you are willing to be "not so high" on the list. If you two still cannot come to an agreement but want to continue your relationship couples counseling could help (similar to marraige counseling). Any good relationship requires a lot of work to help it to grow and continue to thrive, maybe your girlfriend is not putting forth the effort she should be. Good luck to you and God Bless.
2007-03-16 04:59:15 · answer #1 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who ever told you life was fair? The best you can do is make it livable for yourself. If the job promotion was what you wanted...as perfect as anything gets in this life, you made a giant mistake turning it down.
My husband has always liked to say..."lead, follow or get out of the way" in those type situations. Some sacrifices, within reason, for love are sometimes necessary but in this instance you are young, I assume you have no children and now is the time to put your greatest effort into establishing yourself in your chosen field. You need to apply the lead, follo... to your life by choosing the lead role. I don't think you and your friend are on the same page.
2007-03-16 12:08:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! For you guys to be going through this and still be together that is awesome. Talk to her tell her how you feel if she loves you she will understand you. You made a sacrifice to be with her but that is what love is you dont expect something in return. She has to help you to love is for two not one. Tell her how you feel arrange your time together. Figure out ways to see each other. Both of you have to make sacrifices. Work on it together and you will have more time.
2007-03-16 11:58:16 · answer #3 · answered by Jaizmin P 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then you need to figure out what you want in a relationship and find someone seeking the same thing. you need to come to the grimm conclusion that this will go no where given time. she will only distance herself more untill she is fully ready to dedicate herself to you. Im sorry to say that really. i know it hurts but you have to do it man. I know your not looking for a way out or anything but your doing a good job at working on yourself, you know what? go back and apply for that good job that you sacrificed for her. I would think that it could only bring good into your life.
2007-03-16 11:58:38 · answer #4 · answered by Deformation Age 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are in a relationship it is important that you don't lose your own identity. I know it hurts, but she's doing the right thing, living her life, you should do the same, it doesn't mean that you two can't still have a successful relationship, work it out.
2007-03-16 11:59:09 · answer #5 · answered by Khalil 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sit down and talk about it. If you two do not agree then maybe it is time to split up. You cannot keep going on feeling as if you sacrifice everything and she doesn't.
2007-03-16 12:07:53 · answer #6 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is being this selfish you need to ask yourself if this is the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with. you should start looking at other options. maybe you two are just growing apart now.
2007-03-16 11:59:33 · answer #7 · answered by Bex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys are just going to have to sit down, drink a couple beers and talk this over. She has to give a little too.
2007-03-16 11:54:53 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
yep it is unfair, ur right ur gf doesnt care about ur life, future, dreams and goals. u should make an ultimatum and she disagrees dump her.
2007-03-16 11:54:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
talk iit over
2007-03-16 11:59:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋