Should I say this to the girl I miss?

Question

Hey. How are you? You know, ever since we stopped talking, (we haven't talked for 10 months) I had been going over everything in my head, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. You know, I still remember what you said to me the last time we talked, the things you were mad at me about. It was because of you that I started working on those things. I know you probably still don't want to talk to me. It's just that a special girl like you is hard to find, you're unlike any friend I've ever had. No other girl is as amazing, wonderful, smart, talented, funny, and beautiful as you. No one else has your light brown eyes that sparkle when you're happy and fade away when you're sad, or your bright smile. There was a time when I was feeling down that you could tell something was wrong because you know me. I'm the same way about you. I know you think I don't know you, and I know I don't know everything about you, but I want to know everything about you. I really care about you and like I

said, you're special to me. I'm tired of playing silly games around you, trying to act like you're not when you really are. Without you, I just had to admit that I must be really stupid for not understanding then what you were trying to tell me, that it wasn't anything wrong with me that you didn't like, it was you just didn't share those feelings for me that I had for you.
I've found out for myself it was better when you didn't like me in that way. Now that you don't like me at all, it's alot worse. For the things I've done, I'm really sorry. I was just afraid of losing you, so I did. I only want us to start over, pretend this whole thing never happened and if necessary forget that there was any mention of romantic interest between us. I know with you I don't have a chance. I just want your friendship back, if it's ok with you. (END) (continues If sent in a letter) If writing this to you makes how you feel about me worse, then if you'd like to, just forget that I wrote it.

If what you want is to never see me or speak to me again, I will just try to let you go just because I only want to make you happy. (END) I just want to know what should I do for her birthday or if I should pretend I forgot, but I really don't want to play anymore silly games like I don't care about her because I'm tired of them. What should I change? Is it too long?
You can stop here, but below is the situation. And what should I get for her birthday, or should I play more games and pretend I forgot?

The reason I liked her in the first place is because she said she liked me online after two weeks of us talking, then I was excited because I felt good that someone finally liked me. I asked her how she felt about me the next day, then she said she didn't really know, she had too many boys in her life and didn't know how to handle it. After a month she told me she didn't liked me but I still liked her. So I kept talking to her hoping she would eventually change her mind and give me a chance. After a while I noticed she was everything I've looked for in a girl and I fell in love with her. After 4 months of us talking she told me she was falling in love with someone else, whom she gave a chance and not me, and that a couple of her friends were falling in love too. I implied to her that I was falling in love with her and she kept asking me who. Then she asked if it was with her, but I felt I shouldn't say so online so I changed the subject and found out we were unknowingly both watching

the same tv movie. We were going to be somewhere and there I would tell her. I panicked and told a friend what she said. I was afraid of her liking someone else besides me. I left out the names of her friends when I told him. He figured out who and teased her friends about falling in love, so the girl I like got mad at me and wouldn't talk to me. At the time I didn't know better to not say anything at all that we talked about. After I gave her space for two months, then we had a small conversation until her bus came and I asked her if she was still mad at me. She told me no, she just didn't want to talk to me anymore. So I haven't tried to talk to her but when I say hi to her sometimes she says hi back, and once we did have a very short conversation. I wonder if maybe she cut me off because she doesn't want to get hurt in case I'm too good to be true. Boys have dated her friends and told them they loved them, had sex with them (she's the only virgin in her main group) and dumped them.

I'm 17 (a month ago) she turns 17 in two weeks

Answer 1

you did a great job,she will understand more than we would. only send it if you really feel this way other wise your ****** up. respect her if she doesn't want to have anything to do with you or read the letter then it's your hard lose. don't try to make her feel guilty because she did what she felt was right and best for her and i think that was great for her she is one strong person. and you need to move on. so before you send a letter try to phone her and see if she will accept a call from you, ask if you can send her a letter that you hadn't forgotten her b-day and would like to send her a card. see what she says. if it's OK with her then send the card and the letter if not then move on learn from your mistakes you made with her and you will make someone else a better boyfriend because of it.lots of luck to you.

Answer 2

Send her this letter and dont forget the birthday if she wants to talk she will if not let it go youll only make it worse but what you wrote is really good tell her that stuff see what happens good luck

Answer 3

You're thinking too hard into the situation, you must be young.

Answer 4

I would just tell her what you wrote in your question...no more games

Answer 5

wow..that was beautiful..
I sent him something simular to him..but shorter.lol

but it was a goodbye letter.

Answer 6

totally right on brother!

Answer 7

say