Need a good reason not to join the Army?

Question

My friend signed up to join the Army as an active-duty soldier. I did some research to understand potential consequences of this decision. I found that 3% of American troops died and 20% were wounded in Iraq. I also found many soldiers coming back from the war suffer mental problems -17% of them have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), or invisible injuries -roughly 10% of them have TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). Now he is not so sure that this war is legitimate for him to take such a big risk.

However, he still insists in joining, because he already quitted his job and told everyone he was going to join the Army. If he doesn't go, how can he face his friends/ex-bosses/relatives? That will make him look like a coward or a liar.

My question is how can I find him a good reason not to join, a reason that can make him not feel ashamed? If I can find a good reason for him, I can convince him not to go to the boot camp and then his contract won't be finalized. Please help!

Answer 1

he made the choice, so he needs to be a man about it.

Answer 2

While your concern for your friend's well-being is admirable, the decision to serve is his to make, not yours. He has chosen to not only serve you, but also everyone else, and that's an honorable thing to do.

A soldier's primary duty is to follow orders. As he follows those orders, he is being trained to become a leader. As a soldier, it would not be his place to question the legitimacy of those orders.

If you're basing the legitimacy of this war on the number of causalties/ fatalities, then no war would be worth fighting. The United States wouldn't exist. The revolutionary war would have never happened. How would you feel about being a British, or French, or Spanish citizen over being an American? Or how would you feel about being an American Indian?

If you are a true friend, honor and respect his decision. Support him in everything he does.

Answer 3

Once he signed that contract, he has to go or he is considered AWOL and that will have very bad consequences legally as well as finding another job in the future. Once he has signed that contract and taken the oath he is bound legally (and morally in my opinion) to show up to ship for boot camp and AIT. Statistics are just that: Statistics. They don't account for the entire population. They take a group. Do a survey of sorts and figure out a percentage and figure that represents the entire population. It doesn't. You need to stand behind your friend and tell him to fulfill his contract and then, when his contract is up, he can get out if he wants. Also, depending on the MOS he chose, we may be out of Iraq. He still has at least three months of basic training and AIT. It could be a year before he's even up for deployment. If he decided to have the Army help with college and he gets into classes right out of AIT, they won't deploy for a year (if I remember right). I know you're a worried friend. I would be too. I worry about my husband every day and he's not deployed yet. Your friend signed a contract and he needs to abide by that contract. He needs your support, even if you don't agree with his decision.

Answer 4

He should be ashamed if he doesn't go. Soldiers go and do their jobs no matter what that cause so people like you and me can sit here at home in a free country. Granted, the Army is abused and has become the "policemen of the world." However, it is more shameful to be a chickensh*t and back out then to go overseas and serve your country when they call upon you. If he is that much of a titty baby that he is scared to get "hurt" then he should stay at home with his momma. The soldiers don't need people like that beside them in war. They need people there they can rely on, trust with their lives, and be there for them when no one else is. Death and injury is a product of war. Death and injury is also a product of living. You could just as easily be injured crossing the street or getting out of your own bathtub...You could just as easily die in a car wreck on your way to work. You could just as easily be shot for no apparent reason right here in the United States while stopping at the 7-11 to get a Pepsi. You could witnes your wife being killed and have post tramatic stress. If you want your buddy to get out of going to the Army...try coming up with a real reason other than "statistics". Or admit the real reason..he's a pus*y!

Answer 5

Why do you feel that he needs to share your opinion on this? You choose not to serve, and that is your decision. He chooses to serve, and that is his decision. Don't try to interject yourself into others people's lives too much...it never turns out good. Congratulate him on making a brave, heartfelt decision and wish him the best, but don't try to make him "be" you.

By the way....I'm curious where you found that 20% of the Troops in Iraq end up wounded. Was this during some certain time frame or statistics from one particular combat unit or what? Other than being a play on numbers, this stat is quite ridiculous (not that I am downplaying the danger by any means!).

Answer 6

My friend told me that he can choose not to report to the boot camp, and there won’t be any legal consequences. I have read so many books, some of which were written by soldiers returning from the war. I understand the ugly side of the war, and believe that no one can return from the war unchanged.

My numbers were not made up. I got them by doing lots of research. I want to protect him, not to debate against him or others. He is hesitant, and I want to give him a good reason to change his decision. He might be killed and die in his twenties .He might be wounded and become disabled for the rest of his life. If this person was your significant other/son/best friend, don’t you want to help him and protect him?

I need a good reason/solution that can make it easier for him to change his decision. I really appreciate your comments and suggestions. Thanks a lot.

Answer 7

There is not a good reason not to go, first your math is wrong in your first paragraph, second, he may not come back, but if he does come back, he will have accomplished something in his life to tell his grand kids, not a story of cowardice, but a story of honor, duty, and bravery. Now not everyone will agree with me but not everyone is interested in the respect and honor paid us by future generations of family lineage. As to his friends, the will think he is a coward, and perhaps he is, but none the less, adventure is not for every man, only a select few.

Answer 8

Both of you need to contact the Embassy of France located in the Nation Capital City. Snail mail address and telephone
information is available at public library reference desk. You
both need to request information on how to join The French Foreign Legion. Rewards include learning to speak, read, and write a foreign language. Travel extensively. Earn Dual
Citizenship Status in both France and USA. He won't go to
Iraq and yet returns with an exotic foreign service history.

Answer 9

if your friend has already signed up it is too late.....however having strong true friendships can help reduce the stress of rejoining society when he gets out.
By signing up he has relinquished is right to decide IF he will fight, he has agreed to follow orders-whether he likes those orders or not is irrelevant.
The advantages of being in the military when we are not at war (i.e. room and board, job training, health care,paychecks) are great but the risk is always there...
the disadvantage of course is death or injury.

If he does not report to boot camp he will be in violation of the contract and could face consequences....if he has changed his mind he needs to talk to the recruiter to get his options IMMEDIATELY

peace and good luck

Answer 10

this Iraq war is so puzzle to me [ i"m a mom daughter6 years in the army ] 1 and half year ago , we plan to buy a house my intention just in case something happen to my daughter . i will take care of her , las vegas job insecure .realtor , lender . did not let my baby have a house in her own home town , because his single . and i don"t know 1-2 -3 ,so as her dad its really scare me, theirs nothing that the goverment , will take care the soldier in the future . maybe if she really fighting for her country probably i can"T say anything [ god help her ]

Answer 11

Wow, sounds like you really love this dude.
I am sorry to say though that while your intentions are good; you cannot make choices for another person.

I know the risks are great. I know that if he makes the ultimate sacrifce you will loose him forever. But that choice is for him to make and only him.
If you talk him out of it; he may always think of himself a lesser man. He will often think "what if" even if he doesn't admit it.

We need people like him to defend our country. But I do mean Defend our Country; not to be sent over like lambs to slaughter.

We must maintain our military for the sake of our country, and while my heart goes out to you and cries for your friend, it is something he must do.

All we can do for him and you is pray he comes home safe. And when he does; you will feel proud of him and will think better of him.

I am no great lover of war; (especially this war) but I am a great supporter of the troops and god help them for what they do; they are heroes in my book. I read a bit sometimes and I read something in Shakespere once; let me paraphrase a bit and fogive me for doing so. It goes like this: (read the last part of it)

"If you have no stomach for the fight, leave now.

Give this man his money to speed his departure.
For we do not wish to die in this mans company.

Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself every year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell them embellished stories of his great feats of battle.

These stories he will teach his sons and from today until the end of the world we shall be remembered.

We few;

We happy few,

We band of brothers;

For whoever has shed his blood with me in battle shall always be my brother.

And those men afraid to go will think themselves lesser men as they hear of how we fought and died together."