Should I allow my daughter to repeat 2nd grade?

Question

My daughter is 7 (August birthday) and in the second grade at public school. Many of her classmates started school later and are a full year older than she is, one is 2 years older. My daughter is very small, a bit immature and gets lost in the shuffle with her peers. She has anxiety and bites her nails. She is passing academically but not thriving. We are moving her to a small private school in the fall (she is excited). She has been asking me, "CAN I PLEASE REPEAT SECOND GRADE?" When I asked why she says she just wants to older in her class. Her teacher now says she doesn't need to be held back, but may benefit socially/self esteem. Believing life is not a race, I am inclined to have her repeat second at the new school where academics will be plenty challenging anyway. If anyone has experience with a child who WANTS to repeat a grade, I would love your advise. Thanks!!!

Answer 1

It is a rare case where the child actually WANTS to repeat a grade. You are fortunate that your circumstances support her wishes.

I was in a similar situation. More than 50 years ago, my nursery school teacher said I would be bored in kindergarten, and so my parents lied about my birthday to get me into first grade a year early. Always being the youngest and smallest in class is not fun.

School is not just about academics. Life is not just about knowledge. Important as these are, it is more important to know how to use what you learn in school and how to be happy and successful among your peers. You learn socialization by the roles you are assigned as you grow up. Your social assignments are based on how you fit into your social group.

The "lost" year will absolutely disappear in no time at all. Your daughter will assume her new, more equal statue among her new peer group and move forward.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

My son was born in Aug. also and he will be 17 yrs. old when he graduates. I often wondered if we should have held him back in the early grades but today I'm glad we didn't. He didn't really struggle but I knew he could always do better and worried about the high school years when academics and social aspects mattered the most. I was pleasantly surprised that in High School he excelled beyond our expectations and did very well, Academic wise. Socially he has a few close friend and a girlfriend ( the other peers are just into too much partying and he's really not into that).
To have your daughter repeat the grade is really up to you. Personally, I'd wait one more year and see if she can handle the new school or give it six months and see about dropping her down if she continues to struggle. The decision you make will be something you'll have to live with and nobody knows what the future will hold. Either way, you honestly have your child's best interest at heart. There is no concrete path to take, sometimes you have to take a chance a hope it works out in the end. Good luck.

Answer 3

I repeated 2nd grade, because of immaturity, and then I repeated 6th grade because of academics, but when I switched schools later, I was able to skip 8th grade, both for academic & maturity reasons, so I was only a little older than most kids when I graduated high school. I think if your daughter wants to repeat 2nd grade, that's great, especially since she will be at a new school with new kids, and things will be okay. If she had to stay in the school she is now, I might say don't do it, because she'd probably get ridiculed and made fun of, by not only the kids in her current class, but also by the kids she would be joining. That would be bad for her self-esteem. But since she is changing schools, starting her off in the right grade would benefit her in a lot of ways. Good luck with that.

Answer 4

Being older or younger than your peers has a definite effect on social interactions. I was the youngest one in my grade all through school and felt left out often because everyone was earning privleges and moving on without me. If you daughter wants to repeat second grade, I would let her. I would place her in a position to lead, not follow and boost esteem and self confidence. She would also get another valuable year to reinforce basic and necessary skills and may move on from passing to excelling academically. There are several boys in our Cub Scout pack who have repeated a grade for some of the same reasons and I don't know one parent who regrets making that decision.

She is your child, do what your heart and your head tell you is best.

Answer 5

I say why not?! It sounds like she really wants to, and repeating the grade may benefit her academically. If you and your husband don't see a problem with it, I think it may be a good idea. Plus, she won't be the youngest person in her grade, she will be about the same as the rest of the children. Just make sure that she knows this is not something that she can do every year and this is a one time thing! Good luck!

Answer 6

My son also has a august birthday. he turned 5 3 days after school started. We had him repeat 1st grade and it was the best choice we could of made for him. He does have a learning disability but not a severe one, so that was part of the decsion. But I still feel some kids at a young 5 are not ready. Go with your gut on what you think is best for your child. Good luck to you and your daughter. ps. my son loves being the oldest in his class now. he's in 4th grade and already talks about he''ll get his driver's license before anybody else

Answer 7

How does the instructor think of your daughter will grow to be extra mature by employing be held back with youthful infants???? it is ridiculous.. in the experience that your daughter is doing nicely in her analyze.. do no longer carry her back.. she will finally finally end up feeling ashamed of who she is.. using fact she had to stay in third grade back with the 2d grades.. Wow what a thank you to wreck a baby's self-worth.. perhaps that instructor desires to get out of the lecture room and with some adults to regain her adulthood.. i'm sorry yet i can not have self assurance that... 8 3 hundred and sixty 5 days olds are immature.. that's what being 8 is all approximately.. have self assurance me your daughter will advance up rapid sufficient, then you definitely would be wishing she grow to be 8 back.. i can not even have self assurance this instructor stated that... besides this if youre daughter isn't misbehaving at school then your daughters adulthood is none of this instructors business enterprise.. If her college paintings is done thats all that concerns.. additionally if she does nicely at school and she or he gets held back and repeats gr 3.. Shes going to finally finally end up becoming to be bored and appearing out extra so!!! stable luck to you!

Answer 8

If your daughter really wants to, why not? it will benefit her socially like the teacher said, and maybe she will be able to get a jump on academics. Staying back in the second grade would be so much easier than having her stay back in say, seventh grade.

Answer 9

There's nothing wrong with allowing her repeat 2nd grade to catch up socially. But I'd also check into why she has anxiety and try to work on that.

Answer 10

i would suggest not to let her retake it because she is going to fall behind. if you pass her to 3rd grade she is going to be ahead. its a good thing to be young because when she gets to high school, she will actually benefit. look at me for instance, im BEARLY 16 and going to graduate high school already. when i enter college, im still going to be 16 and i skipeed 11th grade. so i say dont hold her back. since she has self esteem issues, she is most likely going to mature faster because she is with older kids. so i think you shouldnt.