i have been with my bf for 2 months(im 20,hes 24)When I first met him i didnt really like him romantically,but i kept hearing that he liked me.we started talking on the phone and i started to hangout with him and his friends every weekend.he asked me out a month after i met him and things were awesome,he wanted to spend lots of time with me,took me to meet his parents etc.but now he's very distant he still calls everyday,but i rarely see him hes always with his buddies.we live 30 min away and only i drive(which i dont mind).On tues,he really opened up to me and he told me how his ex cheated on him and how he wants to get his life together and start a career,but then he goes out drinking.Ive told him how i feel and he tells me he really cares about me and i shouldnt worry and hes 'not going anywhere'.I told him it seems like he doesnt really care about me and he said if he didnt why would he take me to his parents.Why do u think hes acting like this?I dont want to just dump him!
2007-03-16 04:35:55 · 14 answers · asked by sallyh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know why he goes out with his buddies a lot more lately, or out to drink, because I can't relate. But as for how he acted at first, he really cares about you. Then again, there is something to be said about the fact that you do all the driving, because that means there's no effort on his part to come see you. I guess now is what matters. Wait it out and see, if this continues then dump him.
2007-03-16 04:41:43 · answer #1 · answered by Icebox -0: Never Again 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's only been 2 months like you said. Don't jump the guns so much. That is pretty early to be meeting the parents. And I'm sure he does care, but the two of you are still getting to know each other. Slow down a bit. He might have a fear of commitment, especially since the whole thing with his ex. And he drinks instead of pursuing his dreams. It's obvious he doesn't like being pushed into anything.
2007-03-16 11:42:10 · answer #2 · answered by starlight_940 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs to do some growing up, cuz he's saying one thing and doing another.
If you don't feel like he's treating you the way you deserve, cut him loose now - it's only been 2 months so far, and it'd be easier to move on now than in a year or two when none of his behavior has changed.
On the other hand, if you say you can't deal with this right now, it doesn't seem to be working, and he does grow up quickly enough that you haven't moved on... well, you can figure it out from there!
2007-03-16 11:43:18 · answer #3 · answered by Megs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man I know exactly how you feel. I can't really help because I'm going through the same thing but I can say that sometimes when guys are stressed, they react differently than girls do. Another possibility is that he just wants to hang out with his friends for a little while. You can't be too overprotective. Besides that, I don't really know, because I'm still figuring things out myself!
2007-03-16 11:41:38 · answer #4 · answered by bhanphrionsa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's either scared of commitment or he's into someone else on the side. It's one of those two. Otherwise he'd be spending his time with you like before.
I suppose a third option is that his guy friends were ragging him about being whipped and he didn't stand up for your relationship.
Whatever the reason, this doesn't look good, so protect your feelings.
2007-03-16 11:43:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, do not dump him he sound like a great guy, Like he said he has been hurt before. He probably was real close with this ex- and that is when she cheated on him. He is just afraid nothing you are doing wrong just support him and assure him that he is the only one. LET us know how this turns out!
2007-03-16 11:44:06 · answer #6 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be faithful but don't wear it on your sleeve. Enjoy for 6 months and then start bitching... 'you never take me to miami' <--- whine. Once you commit, you may have to share him with others. Guys gotta talk. It's how they work it out.
You want him to hang out with his friends except when his friends invade your territory. You are in a hurry to encase him and that's not gonna work. You will have years and years to grow old together... smile. Think on it. Let it breathe.
You are demanding too much too soon. Relax. Do not make love a chore. Relax.
2007-03-16 11:46:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is this - he's expecting you to do all the work in the relationship - he never drives to see you and is distant. Personally, I wouldn't put up with him acting that way. He is not respecting you and he may be trying to see how much crap you're willing to put up with. You don't want to dump him, but I would if I were you.
2007-03-16 11:42:03 · answer #8 · answered by Brainiac 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he senses some hesitation or distance from you. You said yourself that the chemistry didn't do it for you at first. That's usually a sign that someone isn't right for you. Attraction matters big time. If you're not attracted to him, he'll know something is wrong, he just won't know what it is. Your pheromones will always give you away.
2007-03-16 11:42:36 · answer #9 · answered by Tink 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like he may have cheated on you one of those nights he was out with his friends.
don't call him, if he wants to see you he can find the means to come and see you, you don't need to drive to see him.
the fact that you hung out with him and his friends before you started dating doesn't make sense that now he doesn't want you hanging out with his friends.
he obviously isn't as ready for a relationship as he thought he was, he is just too scared to say something for fear of loosing his stand by.
2007-03-16 11:44:11 · answer #10 · answered by Bex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋