My daughter's father and I separated when was 3 yrs and now she is 15. During all these years he had never paid child support until 4 yrs ago that the court found him and made him pay for all the arrears he owed. He did pay the arrears and then when he was up to date with payments he stopped again. Now it has been two years and I have not recieved a dime from him or seen him. It seems that he filed for income tax and the court took his federal and state check from him and now out of the blue he re-surface complaining to me that they took his check and suspended his licence. He is threating me to file for joint custody for my 15 yr old daughter because he doesn't think he should pay anything unless she is with him. Now my questions is can he file for joint custody for a child who is 15 and has never been in her life. My daughter and I have always been together and I'm a little scared that he might have the opportunity to take her from me.
2007-03-16 04:32:11 · 14 answers · asked by Sexy PuertoRican Lady 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is doubtful that a judge will award him custody, when he hasn;t seen her since the 2 of you separated. Check with your state. I would though try to, if its possible, to start a dialoge with your daughter and him. It might not be clear now but I am sure your daughter has questions about him. SHe is old enough now that she can tell a judge whether or not she even wants to see him. First though, check with an attorney and look up the child custody laws in your state. Good Luck!!
2007-03-16 04:38:57 · answer #1 · answered by Tara M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds crazy to me. Technically he can "file" (although I cannot imagine a lawyer who would tell him that he actually has a chance). However, please keep in mind there is a HUGE difference between what he can technically do and what the outcome will be.
You can take a deep breath and be rest assured that he doesn't stand a chance in convincing anyone that a 15 yo girl should live with a man that she doesn't know (even if she is his daughter). What he might get (and it might not be a horrible idea, depending on the guy) is visitation. And if I were in your shoes, I would request supervised visitation (if it comes to that). And everyone here is right in telling you that your daughter is now old enough to make this decision for herself (who she lives with).
So, don't worry. He cannot take her from you (unless your doing something you're not suppose to be doing). If I were you I would tell him to go ahead, file away! And if he actually does, hire a lawyer and have this done once and for all. (What I'm curious about is whether this was ever legally detailed out before? This should have been spelled out when the two of you divorced.)
2007-03-16 04:52:55 · answer #2 · answered by Neenah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He could easily file for joint custody, but that doesn't mean he will get it. Even without a laywer, a judge will see his past patterns. Your daughter is of legal age now to have a deciding vote in where she would stay. And of course, she would want to stay with her mother, the only parent she's known for most of her life.
I've heard a few times that parents think if they get joint custody, then there will be no need for child support. That is not the case. I have joint custody of my daughter with her father, however, I have what is called primary placement, meaning she lives with me most of the time. Therefore, since I provide the shelter over her head, he still has to pay his child support. Only parents with joint custody who split the time up evenly don't have to worry about child support (i.e. with mom one week and dad the next).
If you want to stop him in his tracks, remind him that joint custody isn't going to get him out of paying. He might drop the whole thing then.
I hope this helps. Good luck..she belongs with you anyways. He's only trying to keep himself out of trouble. Make sure you have open discussions about this with your daughter and be open minded about her opinion.
2007-03-16 04:52:42 · answer #3 · answered by starlight_940 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is only wanting to file for joint, so he will have to pay less. Has he tried to be in her life at all during that time? If not, he won't have much of a chance. The judge may grant him visitation rights, and may allow him to see his daughter, but he will still have to pay child support. If you have her 5 days of the week and he gets her every weekend, he will still have to pay.
As far as he taking her from you, don't worry. First of all, your daughter is at the age where she can decide who she wants to live with. The sperm donor might fight to see her, and if she wants, she can go see him whenever she wants, but I don't see your daughter wanting him in her life. I know if I was in her shoes, I might want to find out about him, but I wouldn't want to live with a stranger, and that is what he is to her.
He got suspended because he is a dead beat dad. If he can't afford child support, how can he afford to raise her full time. Actually, you should let her stay with him for a week, and see how he likes it. Of course, he would have to buy her clothes, food and give her rides and money. He thinks he will save money by having joint custody.
After she turns 18, he won't have to pay anything, but also, I think your daughter will avoid him on her own, unless he tries to be in her life, and not just because he wants to save money on child support and get his license back.
2007-03-16 04:46:37 · answer #4 · answered by George P 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The courts will see that he has not been active in her life and proably would not award joint custody. You have nothing to worry about he is just trying to get out of paying child support. Don't let him know you are worried about it. If you have any doubts consult a lawyer. Best of luck
2007-03-16 08:42:23 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
On what grounds? Are you not a good mother? Have you not provided a good home for your daughter?
Your daughter is old enough to tell the courts just what is going on, anyway. Let him do his worst - there's no way a judge will give him custody.
2007-03-16 04:36:03 · answer #6 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They usually dont order joint custody unless the parents get along and are able to make decisions together (since that is what joint custody is) . I wouldn't worry. Plus, your daughter can have her own lawyer to speak on her behalf, and she's old enough to express what she wants.
2007-03-16 04:37:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont sweat it trust me very hard for a father or mother who has been absent for the childs entire lifeand not paying childsupport to even get hold their head up in court. Tell him to go right ahead he'll never win. Besides your daughter is 15 old enough to tell the court who she wants to live with and I doubt she'll say her dead beat dad
2007-03-16 04:39:00 · answer #8 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He could get visitation if he went to court, but that's about it. He has demonstrated how irresponsible he is, so a judge would never give him custody.
Don't worry about. This guy doesn't want the kid. It's about the money. He will not go through with suing for custody. Keep after him for what you are legally entitled to
2007-03-16 04:39:22 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa A 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well yes, he can file for joint, he is her father. but explain to the judge all the things that happened and how he only wants her because he has to pay child support. I highly doubt he will get joint, he might get her every other weekend or something similar. good luck and jsut remember not to bad mouth him in front of your daughter
2007-03-16 04:37:39 · answer #10 · answered by Olivia's Mama 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋