I am a depressed mom?

Question

I have a 15 month old daughter, she is the joy of my life and so is her father, but I am depressed. I feel tired and sometimes really hateful, I feel like I have lost who I am, and I don't have time to make myself feel better. My daughter is over a year old, so, according to the books it can't be postpartum depression....
If I want help, how do I get it? How does any mom get it. I cant put my daughter in daycare to see a therapist, I cant take meds because she is still breastfed. What do I do? I dont want to hurt her emotionally or myself physically, and I dont want to lose everything i have worked so hard for.

As well, I am 26, a full time college student, and I go to the gym. I have a babysitter when i am at school, but only then. I have to do my homework when she sleeps.
I take her to the gym with me, she plays in a kid zone.
My hubby is a grad student and very busy with his work and doesnt get home until 7pm or so.

Answer 1

Hello, I am an only child also. My mom and I were and still are close but different. I didn't feel lost when I left home I felt revived. I love my mother dearly and I respect her. She was divorced when I moved out and my relatives have told me she was very depressed when I left but I was young and just thought it was a step in growing up. You are a step ahead of me because you already realize that your mother is depressed. If it has already been a year and she is still struggling I would suggest talking to her. Let her know that just because you are gone doesn't mean you don't think of her and care. Not missing her doesn't mean you don't love her it just means you are no longer dependent on her. That isn't necessarily a bad thing. Hopefully you will grow closer again when you experience more of life and she will be able to guide you through. Does your mom work? Does she have sisters or brothers with kids? Is there a local facility where she can volunteer and add a new dimension to her life. I'm sure that the two of you can figure out something to help her fill the void. Good luck to both of you.

Answer 2

I am assuming you are a stay at home mom? Did you work before you had the baby? If you are anything like me, you miss your life before motherhood. That doesnt make you a bad mother it makes you human. There are some things you can do. For starters, wean her. There is no reason why she still needs to be breast fed. She can have a bottle which will free up time for dad or someone else to give her a bottle so you can take a walk or something. You can take your daughter with you to see a therapist. Does your husband work weekends? Go talk to a therapist when he is home so he can watch the baby, if you dont want to take her. Then you can also get on some medication if it is needed. Get a part time job? I am sure if you talk to your husband about it, he would be more than willing to help out. He might also appreciate the second income. There are alot of mothers groups out there. Find one. They take turns watching children so the moms can get a break. If you dont take care of yourself, you cant take care of anyone else the way you might want to. You wont lose everything you have worked so hard for, they love you.

Answer 3

I suffered from severe postpartum depression. I do think that it is possible that you still could have it especially since you are still breastfeeding. For some reason, when I breastfed it made me feel worse. I felt like I was literally stuck in a nightmare. I prayed a lot, talked to a lot of the people close to me and eventually my husband just had to call the hospital. They sent me to my gyno (who just referred me to a therapist). When you are dealing with postpartem you are welcome to bring your baby to the appointments with you. The therapist couldn't prescribe meds so she got me into the psychiatrist who eventually put me on an antideppressant. He also prescribed me an anti anxiety pill which really helped me. My baby is now six months old. I no longer take the anti anxiety and plan on lowering my dosage of antidepressants soon. It is really scary. But if you have tried everything like exercise, meditating, yoga, etc. and it hasn't worked maybe it is time to try some meds. You need to take care of your well being and your baby is old enough that she could be weaned off of the breast. I know that is not always the answer but you don't want to get into such a deep depression that you cannot take care of your baby or yourself. You do not have to live this way and you WILL feel better. You just have to take care of it now.

Answer 4

I know how you feel. My son is 7 and I feel that way sometimes. It is normal. I think it comes from giving so much of yourself to others and not focusing enough time and energy on yourself. Maybe your husnband or a family member could watch your daughter while you have a day of shopping or go for a walk or whatever you like to do. On a side note, no offense, but isn't your daughter ready for a sipppy cup?

Answer 5

Oh Yes it can be post par tom Depression!!
I had this undetected , started when my daughter became 6 months old . I advise you to talk to your OB and get help. This can be a bad place to be in alone. Be honest with your OB . depression can not be just over come dear . Marie Osmond, Brook Shields have all shared their personal stories on how debilitating this can be. No shame in medications , some only your OB can help with . Follow his or her advice and get help! From a fellow sufferer of Postpartum depression I have been there , please do not stay there

Answer 6

One thing you need to remember is these feelings are normal. Check and see if your local hospital has a mommy and baby program. Nurses can be quite helpful. Having a child really does add stress. You need to understand that you haven't lost yourself you now have a child, it is part of you. Books can't say when postpartum has to end. Call your doctor. If you have any feelings of hurting yourself or your baby please call your doctor immediately!!!!!!! Believe me there is help out there. Don't feel helpless, a lot of women feel your feelings!!

Answer 7

Take multivitamine tablets for a while.
Try bach flower remedies to relax and calm your down.
Try to find yourself other things to do, other than looking after your daughter and home. Can you take up some self study programs or learn something new? check out your hobbies.

Answer 8

Check with your family doctor first. I'm sure he/she can help you out with what you are going through.
Maybe you need a little break, like a night out with your husband.
Good luck to you.

Answer 9

just give yourself some time this is a depressing time of the year its dark and gloomy i bet when the bright spring comes youll find happiness with your babygirl and husband =] i hope you feel better

Answer 10

Yes it can be postpartem depression and help is available. See your regular doc and ask for help treating this.