My grandma lost her husband about two years ago and here lately she has gotten abusive, I geuss it was always there but I didn't know about it. My grandpa protected me from it but now that he is gone its like she is a completely different person. To tell you the truth I absolutely hater now. She hasn't gotten his headstone and its as if I'm a slave to her instead of her grandchild. I'm 17 and I'm about to graduate within the next few months but I don't know if I can handle it that long and I really need someones advice on how to handle her so that I don't end up commiting suicide because of the way treats me. Please you guys this is really really important and I need help, I swear she is a psycho and I'm afraid that if I don't do something soon she might try to kill me or have something done to me that can never be undone. I'm also 3 months pregnant by my fiance and I know that the stress isn't good for the baby so PLEASE hurry and help me.
2007-03-16 03:53:43 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Why are you 17 living with grandma?
Why don't you buy the headstone?
What exactly do you think is abuse? Did she slap your face for lying was she angry when she found out you were pregnant. I wonder what grampa would have done to find is sweet grandaughter was pregnant. If he were alive he would probably need your help more as he grows older and is dealing with you.
Did she abuse you by asking you to do your homework or did she asked you to get a job, did she tell you to stop having sex at 17.
You say she treats you as a slave. What do you mean by that be specific. Wait til you have a child. You will not only have to work 2 jobs but take care of a child 24/7.
I'm sorry but I do not believe you. Your lack of specifics.
Try to do whats right and try to know whats right.
I don't think grandma is the problem.
2007-03-24 03:54:04 · answer #1 · answered by granny_sp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi this is angel, im sorry ur Grandma is like that, may b u should seek some profeshional help 4 both of u, no im not saying u r crazy, but some times they no exactly what 2 say and do. please dont talk about ending ur life because that wouldnt solve anything. if theres any time that she isnt angry would b the time 2 ask her why she does. or may b u could stay somewhere else.. theres always the kids help phone. abuse is wrong and it has 2 Stop, she shouldnt b doing this 2 u.. it sounds like she probably has a lot of anger built up inside and if she does she needs 2 talk 2 someone . now i said u could call the kids help phone , yes ur 17 but ur still classified as a child sorta speek, please understand im only trying 2 help and i mean no Disrespect all 2 u or ur family . good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-23 01:05:12 · answer #2 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming grandma does't know your pregnant yet. You need to talk to a counselor at school. Talking with someone at your school will help you with the things you need to hear so that you can get thru this pregnancy. There are sooo many solutions. But you need to try and not let your Grandma upset you. This will most likely be a very difficult thing to share with Grandma. She propably is depressed from losing her husband, and it sounds like you live with Grandma. Go out of your way to help her around the house, try to make sure your both eating good foods, Even if it's just fruit and salads, you must eat to feel good. You can be the one to take care of your grandma and let her know how much you need her. Showing you care will eventually change your relationship for the good. If your grandma is suffering from depression, this can be tough. Even when one goes on medication, it might not be the right kind and she'll have to talk to her Dr. about it. Some people won't even consider talking to a Dr. about how terrible they feel. Maybe you can find information on the internet about depression and share that with grandma. If your not in school, look in the phone book to find a shelter near your area, and call and talk on the phone to a counselor. This may seem like the worse time in your life, but soon the bad will turn to good, and you will find alot of joy in that new little one about to arrive. You need help deciding if you will raise the baby or give it up for adoption. Please don't even consider abortion.. It will haunt you for the rest of your life, and you will be the one living with depression. It sounds like your really scared right now, don't be too afraid to make a call for help. It will be the best thing you can do. They will help you learn what you need to know to get financial aid for making it on your own. It is possible to keep the baby it that's what you want to do, even it grandma won't help you. There are so many places that will help you, it just takes some research. The more people you talk with, the easier this will get. Good luck and God Bless
2007-03-23 23:58:39 · answer #3 · answered by shirley z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can appeal to the court system to be legally emancipated, but that could still be a timely process. It depends on the state. In some states, the former legal guardian has to pay child support to the emancipated individual until they are 18. The laws are different in every state. Contact your county courts for more information. I also don't know when you turn 18, so it may not even be worth your while.
You also may be able to get a different relative to fight for the custody of you, but again, if you are nearing 18, there may be no point, as these things can take time.
The next best thing you can do is to speak with your school guidance counselor or a teacher you trust. They can help you get in touch with the local authorities, you may even be able to press charges if she had physically harmed you and you have proof. If she does harm you, make sure (along with seeking medical attention) you take pictures of the bruise/wound/etc.
Another thing you can do is to contact child protection services in your county(CPS). They should take action immediately in your situation. The only problem with that (and perhaps with the other option above) is if you have no other willing family members, you may be placed in foster care until you are 18. That could mean a different school district, not seeing your boyfriend all the time and such.
Best of luck to you. Try the best you can to not get overly stressed out for the baby's sake. There are support groups in your area I'm sure for other teen moms and for teens who have been abused. Take advantage and get some peace of mind.
2007-03-16 04:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by starlight_940 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My mom has been a widow for almost 11 years now and she was never once abusive. Do you have another family member that you can go live with until you and your boyfriend can get on your feet? You need to get out of there as soon as possible. Find someone that you can live with or you and your fiance get something of your own. You certainly do not want to bring a newborn into this environment. Good luck
2007-03-16 04:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by Dee 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
im sorry for what your going through.it might be possible that your grandmother has a illness like,infection,dementia,sometimes when elderly act strangely or different its because theres something wrong with them phsyically,but you need to speak with a teacher etc about this maybe she is just abusive or maybe there is a medical reason,im a nurse i dont know all the story but for both your sakes ,talk with someone at school but also have her seen by a dr. best wishes
2007-03-22 21:26:38 · answer #6 · answered by monica j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why after 2 yrs she is acting like that. Could it be because you are 17, pregnant and living with her? If I was you I would be looking to move out and be on my own.
2007-03-23 05:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is her children...they should be taking care of her not you...you leave! Go live with your boyfriend or his parents or his family or someone in your family...do not live with her...if you have to you call childrens services and the police and tell them she is abusing you and they will tke her our out of the house and put her in a home...do not take ay abuse from her or anyone in your life EVER 1-800-child-abuse
2007-03-24 01:20:28 · answer #8 · answered by angeleyez1956@verizon.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, let me get this straight. you are 17, ready to graduate, pregnant and living with grandma.
here is what you should do: quit your whining, get through the next few months til you graduate, get married soon as you graduate and move out!
pretty simple if you ask me.
meanwhile you should be speaking to grandma's doctor, and telling him everything you have told us, she may be sliding deep into depression and/or dementia and she needs his help.
and tell him you are considering suicide........you need some help yourself.
2007-03-20 16:31:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
dear Casey, first i feel real bad for your situation, you are so young, no business going thought so meting like it, but u need to be strong and hang in there, finish your school, that;s your tool for your future, look around for help, your first mistake was getting pregnant, is not going to be easy for you now, I hope your boyfriend is gonna be there for you, i feel for you i have a 17 old girl that i love dearly, please think real good about what you gonna do. hope every thing goes well for you.
2007-03-24 02:04:05 · answer #10 · answered by chapina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋