Boyfriend moving in?

Question

Okay here's the story...

I've been with this certain guy for a very long time and he's turning eighteen in less than a month. I'm still living with with my family: two parents, an eighteen year old sister, and two brothers who are eight and ten. Everyone in my family likes my boyfriend and thinks of him as a brother/son. However, his own family is quite the opposite and are abusive towards him. He's been ready to get out of there for years, and sometimes he has, but always ended up back there by law.

There was a short period of time when he did live with us. Now both of us are hoping that he can move in again until he gets his own apartment and his feet on the ground. He's willing to pay rent - what do you think the pros, cons and sacrifices for my family would be if he was to move in?

Answer 1

Well, is he good with kids? Would he be a good role model to your younger brothers? Would he be useful around the house and respectful to your family? Would the rent be enough to support him? Do you care about him enough to embrace the way he acts all the time? Is transportation to and from work and such an issue? These are things you need to consider, but you two seem like a good couple, I have no doubt that it will work out in your benefit.

Good luck sweetheart!

Answer 2

I think he should just wait until he saves his money to get his own place. You need to develop your relationship with this guy independent of what your family thinks of him. If he lives with your family for an extended period (and you're not married) it will be more difficult to make clearheaded and objective decisions about your relationship. He's YOUR BOYFRIEND, not a son or brother to anyone else. What if you meet someone else? What if he cheats on you? He lives in your house and your whole family "loves" him. Whate choices do you have then?

Besides, if he moves in with your family, he may become too comfortable and not work very hard to save his money so that he can get his own place one day.

Answer 3

If his family treats him badly he needs to get out of there. WHY DID HE LEAVE THE FIRST TIME HE WAS THERE? I think it will be ok if you all establish rules and boundaries. just tell him to make sure he cleans up after himself....pretty much make it seem like hes not even there. What I am basically trying to say is that he needs to make sure to respect their home and be a great house guest!

Answer 4

This is a choice for your parents to consider. They are responsible for decisions made for the whole family and financial support.

You are still pretty young to consider settling down with another teenager.

Answer 5

Heres my story. Wasnt long ago my nephew came to me giving me the same abusive story your giving about his gf. My nephew was raise by myself and his grandparents and off and on by my sister who had him at age 18. She claimed her family was abusive, didnt have running water, had to borrow water from the neighbors to get a bath, didnt have food in the house and dirty dishs and trash piled up to the celing. How could anyone want this poor child living like that so out of the goodness of my heart I let her come move in with me. There were rules no sleeping together, no sex, doors open at all times so on and so forth. She said she'd get a job and as soon as she did she'd be out of my house. Everyone agreed so what was the big deal..The big deal was she claimed to be looking for a job but never did, she was very abusive towards my nephew causing him to get so angry at her that instead of punching her he punched holes in the walls of my home. They fought all the time infront of my daughter she'd have a fit over things that were cooked for dinner, if she was asked to help clean up after herself. She'd shower for an hr using tons of hot water. She came to me with no clothing and what clothing she had was tight and trashy so I again out of the goodness of my heart took her to buy clothes. Well walmart and target clothing wasnt good enough I spent over 500 on 4 outfits that includes 2 pairs of shoes. Even the underpants I bought her were not "the right kind". Long story short it was HELL. I'd come home and find 3 or 4 other guys in my backyard with her no telling had they been in my house. And the biggest con was she became pregnant claimed it was my nephews even though I had doubts she convinced him of this so he was going to do the right thing and he stuck by her through all her appointments and the birth. By this time her family had discovered that "our family" was well off and wanted her back shortly before she had the baby. I was more then releaved! So she moved back home her own mother told me to have a DNA test on the baby done she didnt think it was my nephews. The girl agreed to the DNA test after the baby was born. My nephew like an idiot signed the papers because the girl was crying telling him "you know this baby is yours" and my nephew bonded w that baby the second it came out. And he was proud telling ppl "thats my boy". Weekly we were giving here 200 dollars to support that baby {no she never got that job she promised and I know it doesnt take 200 dollars a week to support a baby I have one of my own} but that money "isnt enough" so she told me if I didnt send more she'd take us to court and file for more. I told her to go ahead because before she got more out of our family I wanted that DNA test. We went to court the support got dropped to 118 a month {lol} and the DNA test was over turned according to the judge "if it comes back this baby isnt his then the state has to support it and we do not want that" so now we are faced with my nephew supporting a baby that might not be his for the next now 17 yrs or paying 15000 to petition the states supreme court. Now you figure out the pro's and con's of letting a childs bf/gf live with you. I will never in my life do it again. If he's old enough to move out of his parents home then he should have his job lined up and money to do so..

Answer 6

Yeah same here i think that that would be great for him but make sure hisparents say ok to

Answer 7

i think there would be hardly any cons? and he wil be thankful