I have been with my bf for 2 months(im 20,hes24)I am his first gf in 2 yrs.In the beginning i could tell he REALLY liked me he would do anything to see me i met all his friends and his parents.now hes started acting distant,i see him once a week which is REDICULOUS!.He is very affectionate and attentive when we're together,which makes this so hard.we live 30min away from each other and only i drive(i dont mind driving out there all the time)he tells me how much he cares about me,but hes actions arent telling me that he just goes out and gets drunk everynight.Its hard for me to just dump him b/c i have really strong feelings for him i am remembering the person I met and the person he is when we see each other and NO we aren't sleeping togetherHe told me on Tues that he wanted to come stay at my house tonight and watch a movie but last night he said he cant now b/c he has to help a friend!he been hurt bad in the past.WHY DO U THINK HES ACTING LIKE THIS?SHOULD I GIVE HIM TIME/SPACE?
2007-03-16 03:30:12 · 19 answers · asked by sallyh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he is going out and getting drunk he has issues that are not relationship related. Think seriously about how involved you want to be with a person that handles their problems with alcohol. Sounds to me like you should give him a lifetime of space you're worth a relationship with an emotionally healthy person you don't need a drunk in your life.
2007-03-16 03:35:35 · answer #1 · answered by QueenBean 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He pulled back because he is afraid to get very serious in your relationship with him. He is carrying baggage from his first relationship. I would definitely give him time and space. If he calls and only sees you once a week, just let it be. Are you sure he is not seeing his ex? Just make sure of that. Also why doesn't he drive? Don't get him used to you going to his house all the time. I wouldn't count on this relationship growing the way you want it to, as I think he is not ready to commit. So as I said, let it be...I would date other people and try to be happy. Try not to focus and become obsessed on him only. This guy seems to have alot of issues and needs time and space. Give it to him and move on. If he really cares, he will come to you, and hopefully learn to drive so you won't become his chauffauer.
2007-03-16 03:41:32 · answer #2 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you are 20 yrs old and have a whole future ahead of you, word to the wise never put all you eggs in one basket, i know it's hard to let him go but don't chase him replace him, find you someone becuase that's probably what he has done.
Another pointer, never date a man who dosen't have the same qualities as you, you have a car he dosen't gas is high don't chase him around, putting all those miles on you car he wanna be with let him come to you, and if he can't or makes up an excuse don't ask why say okay and and find yourself something else to do with your car.
Anyway have fun girl don't be tied up with these men, live you life because he's gonna live his
2007-03-16 03:40:15 · answer #3 · answered by Soulchild21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word "taxi" comes to my mind. It seems that he's now using you only because he can't drive. Seems like he probably lost his license because of his drinking. A problem like that you really don't need, or you're gonna pay big time.
Move on girl, you're still young and there are other choices out there. You will eventually make the right choice, which will probably be better than the one you've got now.
2007-03-16 03:41:53 · answer #4 · answered by midnyt12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard question....uhm...i would give him his space, because you dont want to smother him....but still call him..and text him to see how his day goes. I believe in a relationship it should be 50/50 and if its not...dont bother...i had to learn the hard way and i was really in love with this person but i had to let them go, because i deserved someone thats going to give me the same energy I'm putting in. Give him space to see if he would even attempt or bother to make time..that should be your first red flag...if hes going out every night drunk thats a 2nd red flag....but lastly you should talk to him about how you feel...and go from there...but remember 50/50
2007-03-16 03:36:55 · answer #5 · answered by lefteye w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why does he not drive? and he drinks? does he have a Drivers licence or was it taken away for DWI ? You have only been with him for two months not two years. If he is distant this early then what is he going to be like in the future? Tell him how you feel and if he doesn't want to work on it then he doesn't care about you and you should move on. his loss not yours. Matbe he has been hurt but who hasn't? tell him to get over it...........it's been two years since he last went out with someone. If he is not ready then he is not over his HURT. Move on then. You do not need to baby sit him.
2007-03-16 03:39:56 · answer #6 · answered by chazzz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes acting like this because hes probably seeing someone else, or would rather spend his spare time with his Buddies drinking. This guy sounds like a Loser. Why does he not have his Driver License and a car at his age? He obviously is not very mature. You sound like you are mature and responsible at your age. Dump this guy, he will only cause you heartache in the end.
2007-03-16 03:39:25 · answer #7 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he may be acting like this cuz maybe he just isnt in the mood for a relationship. ur obviously trying way harder than him to make this work, and he doesnt seem to notice. u may have really strong feelings for the guy that he used to b, but ppl change..... i would give him a bit of space for a little while and see what he does. good luck!
2007-03-16 03:36:31 · answer #8 · answered by book worm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen, you've only been dating for two months. i really liked to see that you arent sleeping with this guy. maybe he isnt so great. maybe he thought he could get in your pants with that 'great attentive guy' sh't. since that isnt working he is losing interest b/c he's an as shole. dont sleep with him. believe it or not his true nature is coming out. he goes out drinking all the time? this guys a partier and wants to get laid. i dont know if he's ready for a real girl. maybe im wrong but hey watch out. i dont really know you, maybe you're an easy lay, maybe you sleep with guys that you've only dated for three months or so. maybe not. it does sound to me like this guy thought he was going to get laid quick and now that it hasnt happened he's dropping off. someone that goes out and gets drunk all the time is someone to watch anyway. its good that you are only seeing him once a week. maybe you should make it every two weeks and see what he does. dont get played by pulling your pants down for this biatch. dont be just another easy girl, sleeping with a guy just b/c he's paid attention to you for a couple of months. my goodness ive dated girls for years and even then it didnt work out.
2007-03-16 03:48:34 · answer #9 · answered by maximus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, Break it off with him, yes he does need his time and space, and he needs a car LOL. trust me i was a looser once like this. but by breaking it off, if he TRUELY likes you, he will chase after you, just dont be quick to jump in bed with the first guy you meet, as it is very hard to cope with if he is in love with you. It will be a growing experiance for the both of you and will be a lot easier to move on given time. I just recently went through this, not that I am a bad guy or anything, she just had different needs and really couldn't forget about what i told her about my past. If you love someone you really would forget about the past, It's none of your business because your no part of it. If you like the person he is now, then why is it so hard to like him?
2007-03-16 03:38:44 · answer #10 · answered by Deformation Age 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋