ok.. ive been together with my bf for 9 months now and everything has been fine, up till a few months ago..i got pregnant and i asked him if he wanted that baby or not? he said yes he wants it. so ok we are keeping it. so a few months ago i found his msn chats in the computer with other girls, and he was talking about meeting them and breaking the rules(cheating) and how bad i was. i confronted him about it and he said its just flirting and he would never cheat. so ok, i tried to understand him. and he promised he would stop talking like that online and he did. BUT NOW. a few days ago i found very strange texts on his mobile and he was complaining about me to another girl he used to talk to online, saying im in a mood all the time and were fighting all the time( which were not). ....i do not understand why he is being like this cause everything is fine between us until he pulls tricks like this.. why does he feel the need to lie so much about me?
2007-03-16 02:29:21 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
1st congrats! Good luck with the baby. One thing could be that he feels the need for extra attention right now because your attention is focused on you & the baby. Another could be it really is innocent fun that will never go farther then where it is now (though if it was my husband he would be a dead divorced ex husband). I think the 1st thing you need to do is have an honest heart to heart, mabey with a professional to help get to the root of the problem. This is not something you want to have to worry about forever especially if marriage could be in that future. Not to make light or a joke but mabey a regular lie detector test is in order?
2007-03-16 02:36:50 · answer #1 · answered by hope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know most of the problems can be caused by stress on both sides here. He is stressed with how to support you both and a child. Then I am sure (being a man I do not know what it is like to be pregnant) there are a lot of stresses on your side also.
I have a girlfriend of three years now no kids. Her and I argue mostly because she is stressed about work or things going on within her family. I get angry about work and money situations within our relationship. We argue with each other because we know we love each other and we can say whatever we want to each other with out it being hurtful. I talk to other women outside of my girlfriend and that is to make sure what I am thinking is right and I am not taking things out of context in my relationship, women are not the easiest to understand all the time. Where as I know she has guys at work that she confides in about stuff between us.
I think once you have the child you will see a difference in the relationship. If not you have to make the best of it because weather or not he stays your boyfriend you still have to be involved with him for the next 18 years of your life.
Best of luck to you on the pregnancy and the relationship problems. I think you guys are just at a speed bump right now but it will get better.
2007-03-16 09:41:55 · answer #2 · answered by Blue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, obviously you don't trust him. The fact that you snoop through his chats and his phone probably rubs him the wrong way. That may be what he means by you're fighting, in some strange way.
Also, you're pregnant with his child. I seriously doubt he is responsible enough to raise him, based on what I've heard. I wish I could give you some advice in that regard, but I'm afraid I don't have any for that.
Now, should he stop talking to these women? Yeah.
Will he? I doubt it.
2007-03-16 09:35:57 · answer #3 · answered by Nathan C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I feel sorry for you. Your boyfriend is probably feeling trapped in the relationship because of the child you two created together and is looking for a way out. If he's going to continue to lie about what he's doing, there's sure to be more problems down the road. If you want him to get serious with you, you better lay down the line and not take anymore of his lies, get him to open up and tell you how he feels about the baby, and get some counseling. Or just get out now while it's easiest.
2007-03-16 09:35:47 · answer #4 · answered by sneaky_recon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men are Fukd up seriously, i had similar probs but u get through them if u think its worth it and jus a stage. If not chuck him n get rid. Me and my bf are great at the mo but we have sum real bad times. I got pregnant not long ago but i got rid of it becos it wudnt av been fair on the baby because u must b sure about ur relationship and tha u can giv it the best life.... U really need to think about what is best for you n you baby and tell ur boyfriend to book this ideas up if your gonna bring this child into the world!! good luk huni
2007-03-16 09:34:55 · answer #5 · answered by baby_gal_lisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know by now you must be blind.I'd say he is having second thoughts about the baby and you.
It's a thoughtless act on his part and he doesn't seem to be sorry about the effect it's having (particularly with you)
Have it out with him, find out if he is genuine about the baby.
It seems to be a mature thing and he hasn't grown up.
You may end up bringing the baby up on your own.
I really don't think he's ready for a relationship with you at this moment in time.
God luck .
2007-03-16 09:45:02 · answer #6 · answered by aotea s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This does not sound like a good relationship, especially since you're pregnant. My friend was in the same situation, but stuck it out. She now has 2 of his children, and recently found numbers in his pocket after he went missing for 2 days. I suggest you leave him and move on with your life in order to avoid heartache for you and your child. He does not respect you at all.
2007-03-16 09:33:22 · answer #7 · answered by keonli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not the faithful type, a liar and a cheat. He's undependable to you, and he won't be a dependable father either.
He is looking for 'action' outside. The fact that he complains about you to these other girls he is seeing means that he will leave you eventually. He's sure thinking about it else he won't be saying it to these other girls. He wants out, that's why.
2007-03-16 09:34:39 · answer #8 · answered by Bugsy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both young and he's not committed to you. A baby isn't like a dog. Saying "yeah, I think we should keep it" is ridiculous. Find a local adoption agency and let them know you're looking for a good home for your child. You're not ready for this.
2007-03-16 09:33:58 · answer #9 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this happened to me when i had been with my ex for 14 months...though i wasn't pregnant... so i guess it's MUCH tougher for you =( *hug* don't let him do this to you. you deserve much better than this. he's not respecting you, and it's better if you leave him coz he's just making your life worse. I know, it's very difficult to do this especially coz of your baby, but be strong and move on. I'm sure you can find help from other people who respect you =)
2007-03-16 09:39:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋