How do u explain a childs gpa is dying?

Question

my gpa was diagnoised with terminal cancer and given less than 2 mths to live how can i explain this to my 5 and 8 yr old, my 8 yr old kinda understands but no1 close to them has never died, my 5 yr old has been going threw this stage being afraid hes gonna die is it a good idea take them to the gpas funeral when he passes? so far i have just told them hes real sick which u cant tell it right now but how do u explain this to a 5 yr old they know that when u die u go to heaven but when they put u in teh ground what do i say? should i take them away before they put him in the ground ?

Answer 1

I think that you should be honest with your children. But, you know your kids better than we do and what they can and can not hear or see.

Just tell them what they need to know, but do not elaborate. They will ask and than they will probably just go play. Adults sometimes place their own fears and feelings onto how they think a child will react. Children can and do understand death, but in their own way. They will pick up on how you are behaving. If you are distraught when telling them this news, than that is how they will behave. If you are sad, but calm and loving than that is how they will behave.

I am not sure about the funeral for children so young. You may need to judge this on a daily basis. I would like to mention though that when my children were younger and lost one of their grandparents we did not take them to the funeral. Since they never experienced the wake or funeral they did not understand that he had died and was not coming back. So, I learned my lesson. Children need closure too, just like adults. They need to know that the death happened. Like adults, they will be upset. They may even 'play' doctors and death, but that is the way that they will bring understanding to this event.

Helping younger people cope with cancer deaths and funerals:
http://www.hospicenet.org/html/younger.html

NCCN: Helping Children understand death
http://www.nncc.org/Guidance/understand.death.html

Answer 2

Why not involve a grief counselor. My family is going through the same thing. We have 13 children ages 3-11 and a 16 and 17 year old involved in our very close family. The 14 are grand kids and the 17 year old is his son. My son is the 3 year old and luckily he will be emotionally protected because of his age, however the rest of the kids won't. My sisters and brother are having a hard time themselves let alone knowing who to tell these children. I think yes bring them to the funeral, it is important. If you are religious, becoming more active in church can be a good thing for you and your children as well. Sometimes family does not attend when a person is put into the ground, it is very emotional and it is OK if you can't do that.
Good luck with this, God bless you and your family.

Answer 3

Wow this is a tough one, just make his passing a part of living, he is going to be with the angels, at 5 hard to explain death, about leaving before enterment, might be a little hard to take, sometimes when children have pets and they die, then you bury them, is a good way to learn about death. My 2 year old grandson lost his cat, infact, 2 cats, daddy buried them in their yard, had a little funeral, put a little grave stone on top, and when the flowers bloom, he always places some on the graves and says by by, Annie, and Henri. O f course losing a pet is different then losing a grandpa, my oldest daughter was little when her grandpa died and I didn't take her to the wake or funeral, now she is grown and says that she will never forgive me for not letting her go to say goodby to grandpa. Good Luck

Answer 4

I think you are already doing the right thing by discussing heaven and bringing in your religious faith. I wouldn't take them to the funeral at all. It's scary and I really don't think it's appropriate for little ones to be involved in such events. Let them remember their grandpa as he was, not in a casket. I didn't attend my great-grandma's funeral (first person in my family to pass away) and I was 11. I'm really glad that I didn't go. Good luck with everything you're going through, it must be tough. God Bless!

Answer 5

this can be hard on a young child but i think it something every child should know about .tell them death is not a bad thing he is going to a better place and wait till more of his family come to stay with him but there not allowed to come see him till god calls them put it in terms a child can understand and i am so sorry for you and your family

Answer 6

sorry to hearken to that... properly you could tell him that god needed his gpa to unfold love in different babies someplace and subsequently had to bypass... that wont be a lie thoroughly... and he would additionally discover ways to share...i misplaced my grand mom while i became 6.. and became taught the comparable way... and that i think it helped me tackling the grief of dropping somebody until date... i'm 19...

Answer 7

Sorry for your situation. This may help
http://www.bluesuitmom.com/family/parenting/expert/death.html