I mean if someone understood that you weren't in love with them, but knew that you cared about them a great deal, you get along and are friends with them.
I've known him for 5 years and we're friends. We enjoy each other's conversation, etc. We have been intimate once, but he keeps saying he wants to marry me. However, he knows that I don't love him, but I do care a great deal for him. He says i will grow to love him. He hasn't officially popped the question, but I have a feeling he may.
So, do you believe this would work and a marriage can survive although you're not "madly" in love with someone from the start?
2007-03-16 02:00:10 · 19 answers · asked by Tweety 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no. you have to love them 4 sure
2007-03-16 02:05:07 · answer #1 · answered by Amber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about all the experiences you have had with him. Then think about whether or not those things are the type of things you would love to experience with a life partner. Remember that besides having love in a marriage, you also need friendship and alot of understanding. Love isn't what forms the basis of marriages, its the personalitites of the two people involved that forms the basis of marriages. Many marriages like those have worked before and still do, it just depends on how much you care for the person and whether or not you think he believes the same. If after you think about it for a while you feel negative about it then follow your heart. But if you do choose him, then good luck and I hope that things work out for you!;-)
2007-03-16 09:17:28 · answer #2 · answered by Honey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion--from the heart--and the oldest here--and probably the craziest answer.
If he should pop the question--maybe suggest making a trial run. Living together for a month? 6 months? a year? and see if it might be possible to work. Seeing how compatable you are.
Personally, yes, I think it "could" work. It would depend on how badly you each are willing to give toward this. It would depend on the age of each. Age 30 or above--more chance. Age 20--not likely. Neither are mature enough to be so giving. No insult intended.
Just my opinion Good luck
2007-03-16 09:27:25 · answer #3 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Statistics has proved that arranged marriages has a much higher success rate and much lower divorce rate . I live in a society where of all the married couples 90% of them are arranged marriages, yet the divorce rate in our society is 2-4% which is an incredible rate compared to the 50% divorce rate in Europe and the U.S. and the majority are happily married inhere which really makes u wonder . but u see most ( if not all) of these couples did actually fall inlove with each other during there engagement period.
I myself have no problem whatsoever with arranged marriages and I really see myslef in such a marriage as it is the kind of marriage that in my opinion will garantee ever-lasting love and happiness
2007-03-16 09:18:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it can work. Here's why - you have nice feeling for this person but if you lack love- true love then it can not work. He will always want more of you "emotionally" and if you don't love him how can you give him that piece of you. You may grow to care very much for him, respect him, enjoy his company but I don't think you can learn to love someone if it's not there from the beginning.
That's the way I see it. Hope this helps.
2007-03-16 09:05:50 · answer #5 · answered by Champ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage's are difficult enough when they DO start our madly in love. Monogamy is not natural; that is why we have to enforce it with marriage. Deep friendship can grow over time with shard experience, but it is not the same as love. Just be prepared for infidelity, because it is typical in arranged marriages (and not so uncommon in traditional marriages as well).
2007-03-16 09:04:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I don't know what you call madly in love for you say you and he have already been intimate.How else is love expressed at it's highest level than to share the intimacies?It sounds to me like the two of you love each other and you loved him enough and trusted him enough to lay with him why not marry him ? The type of excitement you are looking for isn't a lasting feeling and you could spend your life trying to maintain a feeling that is fleeting at best.In time the two of you will build excitement and trusting some one to love you completely is a beautiful feeling in it self.If he loves you the way you want to be loved than go for it.If he's willing to please you in every way than marry him and be good to him .
2007-03-16 09:09:11 · answer #7 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arranged marriages have been working for thousands of years.
That being said, most of them have been "under duress" - that is,
the cost of them breaking up has been much higher than typical
Western "for love" marriages. I don't know of any comparison
of divorce rates, but due to the duress, I'll bet it is actually LOWER
than for-love marriages.
That being said, divorce rate is no measure of happiness.
Certainly, you can learn to tolerate your life partner, but you
will ALWAYS be wondering if you should have gone for the
gold.
2007-03-16 09:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by Elana 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does not sound as if you're sold on the idea. You need a stronger commitment to make marriage work. I have heard of arranged marriages that worked out, but it sounds as if you're asking for heartache.
2007-03-16 09:05:47 · answer #9 · answered by marie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends some cultures are like that so people learn to deal with it and make it work but if that's not how you were raised and you didn't grow up around that than I don't think so...
2007-03-16 09:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by Miss. Nikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Patience and unconditional love can make anything work.
You could make a flower grow through a piece of metal if you tried hard enough.
2007-03-16 09:06:03 · answer #11 · answered by Solar Ball 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋