I found out from an acquaintance over a month ago that she's got cancer. She was due to find out from her doctor the next week to see if she was getting the 'clear'. She told me that she would give me a call in a couple of weeks but still hasn't. Would it be intrusive if I called her, as she's not a close friend? I don't know what the proper thing to do is. What is your opinion?
2007-03-15 23:45:56 · 12 answers · asked by Observer 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If you are just an acquaintance then you haven't made it into the real friend category yet. Perhaps only those really close to them are priviledged to know the real details; especially if it is not good. However, if you truly care about this person, this would be the time to let them know you do care about them. I would send some flowers with the message, "Thinking of You" and then wait a couple of days and follow up with a phone call to ensure they received them. That will give them a chance to know that you are thinking of them and really do care. I think a call by itself is intrusive for some people, especially if they are going through a hard time. Chances are if they just found out a month ago they have cancer, and you haven't heard back they are probably doing chemo treatments and are too ill to see/talk to anyone. That's my guess.
2007-03-16 02:33:54 · answer #1 · answered by daff73 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should call and check on her. It's not like you found out from someone else, she told you. You may want to call and just ask her how she's feeling and if everything went well at her appointment because you have been worried about her.
Pray for her and pray about your conversation before you talk to her. If the results are positive, this is the time she will need friends- good friends, and you can be that to her. Even if the results were negative, she will appreciate the fact that you cared enough to check on her.
I think you should let her know that the reason you haven't called is because you didn't want to seem nosy and intrusive.
God Bless.
2007-03-16 06:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by nancyshannon53406 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would call b/c in this time she is probably overcome with emotions. Can you imagine hearing this news yourself and then trying to remember to call everyone to announce it? Apparently she does think enough of you to have mentioned that she would call you with the results, but don't hold her accountable. A good friend will call and simply say "I remember that you said you would have your doctor appointment at such and such a time and I was thinking about you and wanted to know how it all went?" <--that may not be grammatically correct, but friends talk like this.
I promise she will be glad you called and prob. would be helpful to talk about it. The only reason I might not would contact her is if you have heard that she is not recieving phone calls or visits at the present.
2007-03-16 12:13:01 · answer #3 · answered by DT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, please let her know that you've been thinking about her. Because of her illness, she may not have had the time or the strength to keep up with everyone. Sometimes if I think I'm being too intrusive, I write a short email just asking how are they doing. The ball is then in their court and they can write back whenever they can.
2007-03-16 12:52:15 · answer #4 · answered by Paddington 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send a thinking of you card. Say you hope to hear from her and that also you hope things are going well. Wait and see. If the news is bad, and you are just acquaintances, a telephone conversation would be difficult perhaps on both of you.
2007-03-16 11:34:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think that you should esp since youve been thinking about it, but just showing up in person is not the way. Perhaps call them on the phone & tell them youve been thinking about them or send a card. Taking the opportunity in the card to ask your acquaintance if he/she is up to company. If everyone that feels like you, chooses not to contact the person, theyll feel very alone, unloved, & uncared for.
2007-03-16 06:52:36 · answer #6 · answered by June B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it would be right to call since you already knew that much of what's going on. Simply call to send a friendly greating. Hope for the best and prepare to offer kind words of encouragement.
2007-03-16 08:50:31 · answer #7 · answered by ShanShui 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, you should call her. She would be glad to know you're concerned. People when they find themselves in a situation like that, they can really see who are they real friends. Many people move back 'cause they don't know what to do, what to say.... So you should really call her that she knows there are people who care.
2007-03-16 07:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by Kontesa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What if she got bad news, and needs this time to adjust? I had a similar situation and I sent her a card that said I was thinking of her. She eventually called me at her convenience, when she was ready to talk about it.
2007-03-16 08:49:33 · answer #9 · answered by Maria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please call her!
Or better, send her a card, saying something like: haven't heard from you, hope your latest health news is good....Just want you to know I am thinking of you, and would love to catch up.
2007-03-16 08:51:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋