What should I do? I'm a victim of a malicious gossip involving me and my exbf.?

Question

I just learned from an office friend that there are malicious gossips around the office about me and my exbf. It was so offensive and I don't know what to do. It even reached our big boss but he did not talk to me about it, instead he talked to my department head. How do I save my dignity against these lies? Please help :( I'm a Filipina working in a Chinese office environment)

Answer 1

Let's hope truth will come out eventually.

Anyway, eventually everything will be yesterday's news. Hold your head high and carry on. Don't give others the satisfaction of seing you furious or upset.

If they ask just say calmly, "it's so not true" and carry on with your duties. If it is really difficult for you to work there, try finding somewhere else to work, but hopefully the difficult period will pass by, and you will feel Ok at there again.

Just don't worry about what others think.
I once heard a saying, "what you think of me is non of my business." Let them gossip around and waste their time. You just use your time to something useful. We are always here to offer you moral support whenever you need it.

Answer 2

Well, since you are aware that the Big Boss has discussed this for what ever reason, I would prob. ask him to have a quick meeting where you simply, shortly and matter of factly, being as un emotional as you can muster, say "Mr. Smith, I'm afraid there is some hurtful gossip going on in the office and I'm not certain where it has come from, but I am finding that my personal life should be of no concern here and that frankly, I find it unprofessional. I just thought that you should be aware of this." Of course, he might fidget if he's been a tale-bearer himself, but he'll prob. put a stop to it. Otherwise, remember to never discuss personal information about yourself to anyone who isn't your bosom friend OUTSIDE the office, never inside. I don't find alot of loyalties inside the average office of today.
But, when this particular gossip flows past you, be sure and never give the true story (as if you have something to defend.) Simply and matter of factly say "Oh my, people say the craziest things, don't they?" LOL

Answer 3

The best thing to do is pray and continue to be who you are. Don't even defend yourself. Who I do think you should confront is your boss. Let him know that you heard these things and you think that he should have come to you instead of other people. Tell him and your department head that you feel very uncomfortable with these lies being spread and you don't appreciate it. You especially don't appreciate the fact that it is management causing your problems at work.
If nothing is being done about it, you should definitely seek legal action. I don't know about where you are, but in the US, there are laws protecting us from this kind of malicious behavior that makes us feel unsure about our jobs. and you can get paid without having to work there.

If your problems don't get resolved reasobably, sue. That'll make your employer's be right.

Answer 4

Trace the rumour.

Ask the last person who told you about it ; "...and who told this to you?"

If they refuse to say, inform the person you consider that they started it, and you will report him/her to your boss. At that point, they will usually tell, so go to the person they named and ask the same, saying that the previous person named them as the source.

Keep asking, and eventually, the same name will come up all the time. Once you reach this stage, you will have found the source.

Confront the person, say you have proof from everyone, and offer them an ultimatum: apologize in front of everyone in the lunchroom, or be served with an official complaint, or legal action.

Trust me, they will usually apologize, knowing you have the proof of their misconduct.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Hit the rumors head on. Or send out a group email to those who are doing the gossipping. If that fails, then just start another horrid rumor about someone else and everyone will forget about your drama as they move on to victimize her. It's wrong, but it always works.

Answer 6

i know it sounds weird and childish, but i did this once and so did my friend and it worked. next time someone approaches you on the gossip, exagerate the story. like if the gossip is... your ex got you pregnant, say something like "yes, I am pregnant, and it's quintuplets!" evetually that person will tell someone else "the rumors are true! she's giving birth to 5 babies!" the other person would be like "...yeah, whatever, sure she is" the rumors will stop like that. tell your friends too, so if they over hear people talking about it they can give the news to them personally.

Answer 7

You know who and what you are, don't worry so much about what other people hear. How sad of a person are you to make up lies about someone else. No matter what lies they spread, they know the truth. Someone like that must feel like a big piece of crap inside.

Answer 8

Gossip is conjecture on their part. Ignore it (I know it is hard) and concern yourself with your job.

Should your department head broach this subject with you, act shocked (you will be anyway) and say that you are not interested in feeding into malicious SLANDER.

Answer 9

Aloha from Down Unda!

But do you have use of all yer fingers & toes? What kind of victim are you? You have sight, hearing & can taste a cold one? Have a couple & remember:

"What other people think of me is none of my business."

Best wishes ~

K-den, M1/NSWMoke ;-)

aka: [e-mail] 8-o

aka: Dorfus :O)) Chucklenose :O))

aka: [e-mail] :-)

Answer 10

Have sex with your boss.