A friend of mine just turned 19. She started playing an online game (WOW) and met a boy who is six years her senior. He was supposed to come up here this month, but can't and now she's talking about flying across the country alone to visit/meet him. She only knows him online and on the phone. She's never had a boyfriend either, which makes it even a dumber idea. How can I get through to her this is a bad idea? I've tried suggesting waiting til he can get the time off to come up here, etc. She doesn't want to listen. I know her mom is against it, and they're going to talk more about it this weekend.
But she isn't hearing us! Your suggestions?
2007-03-15 23:05:08 · 16 answers · asked by Jacob S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe this guy is dangerous, maybe he isn't and maybe he is having the same doubts about her really being a psycho, it works both ways.
You cant really stop her, she is legally an adult and can do it.
The best you can hope it do is offer her alot of advice, suggest she take a friend with her, give her ways of contacting you whenever she needs it, ask her to ask him to try to come there first again, be there suggesting things, as an `18yr old who is moving 3000miles away to be with a bf who is also older i know how she must be feeling.
You can be sure she is having her own doubts and people telling her not to do it and that its a bad idea is making her dig her heels in more and be more determined to prove you wrong and this way of thinking can cloud her natural judgement, something which she is going to have to rely on alot.
If she gets a hint that she is being patronised or critised for this is any way, she wont listen, period.
Trust her in that she can make good judgements, and if it all goes wrong, dont say i told you so, just be there for her.
If you are truly concerned about her, try getting info about the guy and doing a background check, which she should have done herself by now if she is planning to meet him.
2007-03-15 23:17:54 · answer #1 · answered by Chyme 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is there any way to contact this guy? Maybe you could talk some sense in to him, but I doubt it.
she may not know that the only reason he wants to meet her is to have sex, what else? Is she having trouble meeting people in real life at home? She should get off line and meet some other people. A party that you could invite all the people too would be cool. Try and hook her up with someone more her age and see what happens. I would be very scared for her and if you had to, go with her even against her will. You can buy a plane ticket and just show up. If the money for her ticket is coming from home, take her money. This guy sounds like bad news, do what you have to to protect her.
Good luck.
2007-03-15 23:12:44 · answer #2 · answered by . 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She absolutely should not go across the country alone to meet a stranger. This guy may not be who he says he is and can be dangerous at the worst extreme. I would do some serious research on the dangers of just up and meeting someone you don't know from online. I am sure there are many out there. He may be a great guy, but she shouldn't risk her life to find out. If he cannot make the time to visit her, she certainly shouldn't be rushing off to him. At the very least, it makes her look desperate. The main thing of course is her safety. I agree with the other poster, is there any way you or someone close to her could accompany her? Another thing, she should also be advised if she does go to at least not stay with him.
2007-03-15 23:10:08 · answer #3 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Even if this guy would not be a criminal, it might be that he simply turns out to be less attractive than she though..If she gets right into a situation where they're alone, like inside a car or house, the situation would be very uncomfortable. And IF, by chance, it would turn out that he is NOT a nice guy, she could regret meeting him for the rest of her life, so, why not be a little careful to begin with?
2007-03-15 23:56:55 · answer #4 · answered by therealtr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely what "risky" ingredient ought to in all probability take place? i'm particular at her age comprehend she has undemanding experience to stay faraway from threat or shady environments. Now if shes utilising that "meth" drug then she desires help asap. perhaps attempt to spend time along with her doing issues she's interested in. or in basic terms distract her or take her finding out to purchase and encourage her to get extra informal clothing. motivate her acquaintances to come back over so as that she'll carry out at domicile. Take her on a holiday away out of your city. maximum of all once you earn her have faith, communicate along with her with regard to the way you sense. attempt to no longer make her sense any much less then "grownup" status aka a "little woman" when you consider that she's for sure waiting for the responsiblity.
2016-10-02 05:22:34 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good luck trying to control a nineteen year old girl.
if her mom can't get through to her you may as well buy her some condoms and tell her romance isn't worth dying for.
2007-03-15 23:09:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just make sure she doesn't get the money to get down there. let her know the man she is talking to could even be an undercover and she could get in trouble, that might scare her.
2007-03-15 23:08:55 · answer #7 · answered by princess1226 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her she needs to make sure she has her funeral plans written down, so y'all can do what she wants when they return her body home to her grieving mother...have her watch those predator shows on dateline....she is ridiculous for not understanding this is a bad idea...people lie...people send pix that are not themselves...she is afraid, friend....she is afraid no one wants her, that this is her only shot at "love"...quite sad, really...
2007-03-15 23:14:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you cant get through to her and u cant stop her from goin, then the best thing to do would be to accompany her on this trip, and watch over her.
you just cant get through to youngins about your experience and your "knowing the best for them", they gotta experience it, just like we did to get to know that some decisions werent the right ones
2007-03-15 23:09:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it sounds crazy but try supporting her and maybe have a friend go with her.
2007-03-15 23:09:51 · answer #10 · answered by loving U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋