In my relationship with my boyfriend I thought I was the only one that was insecure. After 7months of being with him my security is growing and I no longer stress too much with my insecurity. It seems that my boyfriend is now like what I use to be, or maybe I never saw it before. Just a month ago we had a huge fight and it wasn't pretty, I realised that I needed to make some changes in my life, I started do lots of things during the week, I took up line dancin with my friends and it's great and now and then I make time to see my friends on the weekends. I've changed in a way and I'm not as dependent as I use to be towards him although I still see him every weekend even if it's just one day. My boyfriend seems to get insecure when I go line dancing and hang around with my friends especially when I got out clubbing. I've told him I'm not gonna do anything but it doesn't change the way he feels. He gets worried that I'm gonna find someone else, and he's just so scared of it. I love him and I wouldn't do that, how can I prove to him that I'm not going to do anything like that? I've even said to him, come along I'd love it, but he hates going out to clubs.
2007-03-15 21:15:46 · 15 answers · asked by Sheepless 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
your question is to long
2007-03-15 21:17:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You may want to have a heart to heart talk with him and find out where his insecurities are coming from. Maybe he's just missing the extra attention and time you used to spend with him? Doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong that would make him feel that way. It's not like you're not telling him what/where you're doing/going and you've already extended the offer for him to join. You didn't disclose what the big fight was about, but chances are whatever he was bitching about may be the key to solving your issue. Also, don't ever give up your friends, they'll be around for you alot longer than any boyfriend, trust me.
2007-03-16 04:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by amberraven2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know in this day & age, words really sometimes only amount to a verbal promise of sorts. It's not when you sign on the dotted line for a loan or other, which puts you to task.
With all the "players" (male & female) out looking to score at clubs, hoping to get someone drunk & laid. The whole scene is not appealing to most honorable folk.... like myself for example.... who are looking for something more tangible.
It appears from your ?, that your boyfriend is like me in this same respect.
In time, you will need to prioritize your situation.... which is more important in keeping ? Something that is real & you can touch it ? Or shaking your a$$ for others at the club & being a partier ?
2007-03-16 04:31:14 · answer #3 · answered by ccchevydude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's good that you get out and do your own thing, but it does seem like you don't spend that much time with him. Relationships are about compromises. It seems like you're not sacrificing enough to be with him, and honestly it doesn't even seem like you enjoy being with him anymore.If you both have different lifestyles, and you only see him once a week, maybe move on and be with someone better suited to your way of life.
2007-03-16 04:20:23 · answer #4 · answered by ~♥~mama-to-be~♥~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a tough thing to do, just outright trust someone. Especially if you feel your not deserving of them. It's really nothing you can say that would convince him, it's a look in your eyes when your with each other. That's more convincing than someone telling me the sky is blue.
2007-03-16 04:20:07 · answer #5 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He obviously saw you were insecure in the beginning, now you have calmed down, you have changed your pattern and thats now making him feel insecure.
wow, why can't everyone just be secure.
2007-03-16 04:19:48 · answer #6 · answered by looby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What probably scares him is the clubbing. At some point he may dump you for it. Have your fun sure, but guys don't want girls that club for serious relationships for many reasons. (drug-use, 1-night stands, etc.)
2007-03-16 04:55:53 · answer #7 · answered by Mista R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems he needs to find himself a hobby he enjoys. He doesn't like clubs, but there must be hobby he likes.
2007-03-16 04:19:38 · answer #8 · answered by Ya-sai 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree!
but if he doesnt believe u that means he cant trust u.
and ''a realtionship is nothing without trust''
so get some, work something out or it might be time to bale-out =(
2007-03-16 04:21:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats gonna have 2 be his problem you shouldnt have to show him anything he needs 2 learn to trust you.....but i feel where he's cumin from though i wouldnt like my gurl doin wut you are but he is just gonna have 2 trust u
2007-03-16 04:21:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you two just out grew each other
2007-03-16 04:18:55 · answer #11 · answered by igottadrive2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋