My one year old hates going to bed PLEASE HELP?

Question

My one year old girl, hates going to bed, she crys so much that she vomits, I have sat there for hours on end trying to get her to sleep, I bath her, I read to her nothing works, I am at wits end, and I dont want her bedtime to be at 10pm every nite, I try to stimulate her throughout the day, its not teething, i have no idea. Please help me??

Answer 1

Dear Jenn,

You've had some good answers already. Every child is different so you might have to try a few different techniques to see what will work. My son was always a bad sleeper and we just thought that's how he was. At 14 months though, he was driving us crazy not going to bed and then wanting us there when he woke during the night. We'd spend 2 hours getting him to sleep, and then another 2 hours to get him back to sleep during the night. This had been going on for a couple months and I was desperate.

After reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", I got up the nerve to try letting him crying it out - something I didn't want to do and didn't think would work. The first night, I followed our bedtime routine and then simply put him in his crib awake and left the room, giving him only one "shhh!". He screamed for 30 minutes. It was torture! But miraculously he fell asleep and slept through the night! The second night, it was 14 minutes of crying, third night just 6 minutes. He's been sleeping through the night ever since, and rarely ever cries at the beginning or middle of the night. If he does cry, it's only a minute or so and he falls back asleep on his own without me ever going in his room. It's hard to believe that he used to sleep only 8-9 hours (including naps!) but now he'll sleep 13-14 hours (including a 2 hour nap). I suddenly have time for myself again!

I would recommend this technique (and the book) since your situation sounds quite similar, with it being an issue of control rather than her NEEDing you really. Consistency is critical though, so you'll need to be fully committed. Also, to keep your sanity during the first nights, avoid using a baby monitor and go to a room as far away as possible from your daughter's or you might lose your nerve when you hear her cry. Watch the clock too otherwise you might think she's been crying for an hour when it's only been 10 minutes!

Someone else mentioned the 'fading' version of crying it out (leaving and returning after 5 min, then 10 min etc.) but that was a complete failure for us, and was one reason I didn't think the crying it out method would work for us. He could go for hours like that (with the fading method) and not give up.

It's amazing how much a child can fight sleep and how much a parent can be desperate for sleep! You would think sleep would come naturally but it truly is a learned ability and you need to teach her how to fall asleep. I pray your daughter will soon be sleeping well for both her sake and yours!

Answer 2

Let the kid live, jeez. No 14 year old boy wants to be told he has to go to bed at 10:30. I heard somewhere that it is actually very hard for most teens to go to sleep before 11. I've been going to bed whenever i want for the last 3 years and i'm 15. I've had absolutely no problem with this. In fact, the last school year i was going to bed at 12 - 1 and waking up at 5 - 5:30 and doing perfectly fine in school. I wouldn't blame the temper on the lack of sleep, i would blame that on the fact that he recently lost his mother.

Answer 3

awww, she has you right where she wants you. Have you tried to put her down to bed, then just sit on the floor, or lay on the floor, that's what i did, and totally ignore her. by ignoring her and i mean totally, no eye contact or anything, she will stand up, cry her little heart out, but it is all a put on, nothing is wrong with her and the crying will only bother you so you have to have a lot of patience and a pair of good ear plugs. she may cry for 5 minutes or maybe even an hour, but just you being there ignoring her shows her that you are not going to pick her up or play into her little tantrum, she will eventually get tired of it herself and go to sleep. this has worked for my 3 children, as well as my 3 grand children. best of luck. by the way, about a half hour before bed time, say to her that it is quiet time and tell her that she may play quietly for a little while but then she has to take a nap or go night night. this will usually give her the heads up that she must go to sleep pretty soon. and she will start to expect it after a few days, when you tell her that it is quiet time, she will automatically know that she has to go to sleep soon.

Answer 4

LOL......Welcome to Mommyhood!
I have 3 kids and they all are the same way! 10yo, 8yo, and 2yo. My 2yo sleeps with me and my husband. He falls right asleep between us. I do not recomend this as it does cause a little stress on the romantic side of things but you can try it then move her to her bed. I dont think that you should force her in away that makes her upset! Shes only One! So try giving her nap earlier, turn the house down earlier so that everything slows down for her, and then make it quite time about a half an hour before bedtime. Meaning no TV, very low lights, and cuddle time. Maybe some lulaby soft music. Soft tickles on her back. Bond with her in an intamate mothering kinda way. Try a warm bath before bed time along with the other stuff. I know that the crying breaks your heart and some people just figure let her cry herself to sleep, but I think that she enjoys life, and has a little seperation anxiety. SOOTH her!!

Most of all enjoy her, they grow up so fast!!
Best wishes!

Answer 5

You are going to have to take control. You are letting her control you. Get her familiar with a time aspect. Go through the day and point out what time you are doing things. This gets them to start understanding numbers and time, while developing a schedule. There are also toy clocks out there that have pictures of what you are supposed to be doing at certain times. They will have a picture of a bed at 8:00, a picture of a toothbrush in the morning and a picture of food at lunch and at supper, then a picture of a bathtub, and then the bed. You need to develop a routine, and stick to it. Try all the basic things...lessen the daytime naps or eliminate them if necessary, keep up the reading to her, etc. She has got to get the point in her head that this is the way it is and she has to go to sleep. It is hard to get a one year old to understand you mean what you say unless you are firm and stick to your guns. You can't just sit there and beg her to sleep and ask her to go to bed. You have to just keep strictly saying that it is bedtime and that is all. Don't let her make you feel sorry because she is crying to vomiting point or she will start using that for all its worth and start doing it for whatever she wants.

Answer 6

When my little girl was 10 mths she all of a sudden would not go down as always at 8pm. This went on for a few nights and got progressively worse. I was advised by a nurse to do the 2,4,6,8. Put them down as you would normally do and walk ou the room. Let them cry for 2 minutes. Go back in and calm them. Leave the room and let them cry for 4 min. When you back in this time don't talk to them and put them back down. Let 6 min go by before repeating the same step. Don't go over 8 min. You may find you do the 8 min quite a few times. But another thing too that my mum said was if you've always let them sleep in the dark try putting a soft light on or a hall light. I did that too.

When I did it, night 1 we got half way through 6 min and she fell asleep. Night 2 half way through 4 min and night 3 half way through 2 min. She will get the message that you will walk out of the room regardless of what she wants and will go to sleep eventually. I've never since looked back nor have I ever changed our routine. PJ's and milk 1/2 hr before bed at 8pm. She goes off to bed with 3 dummies, one in her mouth and one in each hand and dolly under her arm. Good luck.

Answer 7

advice from a midwife and doctor let them cry they know when they vomit that's the point you come running a few night of them sleeping in a wet bed won't hurt try that or just come to terms with being tired. I can't relate though i am firm at bed time and let my daughter cry out and she has never been a problem since 8 week even when teething sorry I'm a hard mummy but it works xx

Answer 8

Without playing games, don’t be available 100% of the time or let your life be an open book. A man that comes on too strong or doesn’t have outside interests will scare a woman away just as much as it would if the circumstances were reversed. Read here http://AttractAnyWoman.emuy.info/?gYSH

Women don’t want to feel as though they are completely responsible for your happiness and that is what it feels like when the other person has no outside interests. Men who are overeager or jump when the woman says jump are the ones who are more likely to end up in the friend zone. This doesn’t mean that you should play the game of not calling for a few days; it means that you should set healthy boundaries until you both naturally find a spot for the other in your lives.

Answer 9

hey don't feel bad ...I have six kids and my 13,14,17 and 19 year old don't want to go to sleep either...they want to stay up all night..Now that is exhausting

Answer 10

I didn't get u.... what's wrong wid ur communication or ur english is f sme other world...
Anyway,,,, as much as i can understand u, ur daughter is suffering 4m insomnia.
Smething is wrong in her brain stem... Will be better if u go 2 ur doctor n ask abt her..... Go 2 a child specialist1..
If nt treated, ur daughter may undergo permanent restlessness or so!