A few years ago I was speaking with a woman who I had only known for a short time. We got into a conversation about religion and she told me about how she had lost her faith in the Catholic church. This was simply a conversation, not a debate.
She told me about when she and her husband were engaged at 18 yrs old and preparing to marry in the church. They were a month away from the wedding and ended up having sex. She was so upset and riddled with guilt that she was convinced their marriage couldn't be blessed in holy union. They met with their priest and he told them that they were forgiven and that there was no reason they couldn't still be married to each other by the church.
The woman was so shaken that the priest was still permitting them to marry that she said it completely shook her faith and that soon after she was married she left the church.
I'm not questioning how the priest counseled her but I'm wondering what it was exactly that she was looking for.
2007-03-15 18:58:51 · 15 answers · asked by mamabunny 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Did she just want to get out of getting married? I don't know what else she could have wanted to hear? Was she expecting the priest to scold them?
This would have been in the early 1980's, so this wasn't "the old days".
I don't even know this woman anymore but for some reason her story popped into my head today. I had always just taken it as an experience she shared with me, but now that I think of it I wonder that there was really ANY response the priest could have given her that would have been "right" for her.
2007-03-15 19:03:10 · update #1
I bet that, after having beaten herself up for this terrible "sin" she had committed, she didn't expect the priest to let them off so easily. At least a good strict punishment should have been in order, following by absolution. And only after that, permission to marry.
Under the circumstances, she must have felt like a fool. And people don't like to be made fools of. That's why she took offence and left, banging the door. She directed her anger at the whole church and not directly at the priest because she didn't want to admit to herself that this was the real reason for her leaving ... not something more significant like her faith having been shaken.
2007-03-15 19:16:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Guilt is a tool that Satan uses quite effectively against humans. Here is a guideline to let you know if your guilt is your own or if he is promoting it: If your guilt causes you to turn around and not do the thing that causes you remorse anymore, it is healthy and will guide you. However, if your guilt freezes you into inactivity, causes you to commit other sins or goads you into giving up on yourself because you decide you are a failure---then it is from Satan and should be renounced and you need God's help to overcome it. Hopefully, that is what this person eventually did--turn to God for help.
2007-03-16 02:45:20 · answer #2 · answered by Sparkle1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wanted him to say it was a sin and she wouldn't be allowed to marry at the church. That way she would know that she saved herself for so long for a reason. If you can just be forgiven so quickly, why save yourself at all? is probably what she was thinking.
2007-03-16 02:04:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She was probably raised in a strict family that told her if she ever sinned she would never be forgiven and sent to Hell. The priest telling her probably shook her family teachings more than her faith.
2007-03-16 02:03:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's wild. I've been Catholic for 8 years, and I'm still amazed at the crazy things people will let separate them from the Catholic Church.
2007-03-16 02:08:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't ask me. That is very strange. When a person is forgiven, they usually feel grateful and at peace. I can't imagine why faith would be "shaken" in a merciful God.
2007-03-16 02:02:18 · answer #6 · answered by Esther 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wanted to be given some punishment to absolve herself of the guilt. She has a psychological need born of indoctrination as a child before she could understand sin and forgiveness.
2007-03-16 02:04:22 · answer #7 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
An odd story to say the least. I would think that she was in her heart looking for a reason to leave the church and so invented one. Just a guess.
2007-03-16 02:05:28 · answer #8 · answered by Last Ent Wife (RCIA) 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Weird perhaps the only reason she was faithful was because of fear. And after loosing that fear she was able to open her mind and think about the whole god thing.
2007-03-16 02:08:30 · answer #9 · answered by Beaverscanttalk 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you completely. May God Bless U.
2007-03-16 02:07:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋