my boyfriend has cancer since he was a child, he is now 26 i am 29, we are living together, i love him but i can't handle the possibility of losing him one day to cancer, he is currently treating a recurrance of cancer, should i get out now, so i don't have to face future pain of losing him?
2007-03-15 18:55:41 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i see a lot of people on here that are telling you that you are selfish and heartless but in the end you really need to do what is best for you. i can only imagine how hard it would be to live with the fear that you may lose someone you are so close to you. if you really fell stressed about it then you should let him know that you will always be there if he needs something but that you dont want to be in a relationship. but if you really love him then stick with it. what i would do is think of how he would react if the situation were reversed that may help you find your answer.
2007-03-15 19:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by ana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he ever needed you, he needs you now.You went into a relationship knowing he had cancer since he was a child is what your saying, right? When you love someone, sooner or later you will loose them to death unless of course you go first. Pain is something we all have to go through, sooner or later. Don't you think you would face greater pain not being there for him when he needs you most. Could you live with that? I can't think of anything worse then being bailed out on when I was at the low point in my life. When you love someone you stand by them through thick and thin, love never wavers. I'd be there encouraging him that he can beat this once again and hopefully he will. Maybe he will loose the will to live if you leave him.
2007-03-16 02:10:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you are too chicken to face the future, you don't deserve to enjoy the present!!!
You knew he had a history of cancer when you started dating him - why did you persue him if you were so scared of cancer?
NOT EVERYONE WHO HAS CANCER DIES!!! I am living proof of it - I survived Ovarian Cancer when I was 22. I am now 28 and cancer free for 5 years. My husband didn't up and leave me because he was scared. My dad didn't leave my mom when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Sounds like you don't deserve to be with your boyfriend. Sounds like you deserve to be ALONE. You are so self-centered and selfish.
If you are so scared of losing him, maybe you should be spending time with him instead of screwing around on the internet. But, wait, that would take time away from yourself. And I know you don't want to do that.
Just remember - Karma will get you - what goes around comes around. You are 29 years old - GROW UP. Everyone dies at some point. Are you never going to get married because your husband will die one day? You say you are living with your boyfriend - you obviously thought the 2 of you had a future - did you think he was going to live forever?!?
God help your boyfriend. I hope everything works out for him and his health is fully restored. I hope he finds out about this and dumps your selfish butt. As for you, you should be ashamed of yourself for even having these thoughts - and you deserve to wind up alone.
2007-03-16 02:58:03 · answer #3 · answered by KB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look no matter if you stay with him or not you are going to face the pain of losing him . my personel opinion is that you are only thinking of yourself .the way i look at it you guys are living together as husband and wife .how would you feel if the role was reversed and he wanted to leave you in your time of need .even though he loves you very much dont stay there because you cant handle the pressure be there because you love him and who knows he could go into remission and defeat this .and if you leave he might not ever take you back think on it very hard my prayers are with you because i lost someone to cancer too
2007-03-16 02:35:39 · answer #4 · answered by donna_taylor277@yahoomail.com 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, he has had this disease since he was a kid and you knew it!. Did you just now realize that Cancer could actually kill him?! How could you even think about leaving his side now? You are living with him. If you leave him you will become the Queen of all cowards. How dare you even think about leaving him to die just so that you don't have to face the pain. How do you think he feels? If you loved him, you would be strong for him. You are weak for asking this question. I have stood beside a loved one dying from Cancer. I went back and forth to treatments. I vowed to stay by his side after they said he was going to die. I cleaned his wounds. I wiped his rear end when he could not. I withstood the stench of Cancer. When they said that he should be in a nursing home, I threw them out of my house. I took care of him. Get help from the people who are helping him.
I don't care who you are, if you abandon this guy, you are scum!
2007-03-16 02:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by queensassey 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can understand and sympathize with you, but I'm sure glad my wife or my mother isn't like you. If you can't take it any longer then get out ... he will sense that you don't want to be there anyway. You probably won't feel so good after it though and that would remain with you much longer than losing him would.
Whatever you end up deciding, I wish you both well.
.
If you haven't seen it, find and watch "Love Story". You may understand life and love a little better.
.
2007-03-16 02:15:05 · answer #6 · answered by J T 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you leave him now, wouldnt he be suffering double pain?(cancer and losing you)
you cant handle losing him,but can he handle losing you?
i think what he needs most now is having his loved ones by his side..
since you love him so much, you should be there for him through laughter and tears, in sickness and health, in comfort and fears. come what may.
try to make full use of the time left with him.live life to the fullest..do things the both of you hav never done before..
just being there for him will make him happy..
hope he gets well soon.
take care!
2007-03-16 02:10:31 · answer #7 · answered by tinklefaerie88 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if u had cancer and he dumped u for the same reason would that be justified.what if u lose someone as precious to u tommorow for some other reason?there can be no gurantees in relationships.if he loves u stay with him.u wud loose be him sooner or later why be a quitter here?face it as a brave woman should.this is the test of time.if u can stand by him at this point of his life ur love is true...but dont stay with him just to be gud to him or just coz it is the right thing to do.dont make his life hell.he would be better off fighting his disease alone than with someone who is non interested in it.
2007-03-16 02:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by gary 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
True love knows no boundries.
If you are questioning if you should get out now, you don't really love him, otherwise how could you be so selfish???
We are all on this earth with a limited life span. We could be killed by a bus, or a mosquito bite tomorrow. To say you would cut someone loose because of a potentially fatal disease to spare yourself the hurt involved is deplorable!!!
You don't deserve him!!!
2007-03-16 02:20:57 · answer #9 · answered by ktterdfurguson 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He deserves a better lady than you. So yes, get out now so he has time to find someone who is going to care about him and not be so self centered as you.
You better hope life goes smooth for you or you will be living a very lonely life whenever anyone you care about has a problem and you decide to bail. You will end up with no friends and alone.
2007-03-16 02:10:32 · answer #10 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋