We kissed after a work function a few months ago. That is when our relationship started. We are not physical. But we send each other long personal emails. His fiancee does not know about me and we have hung out outside of work a number of times. Is it okay that we have this kind of relationship? Is it considered cheating? I have feelings for him but I would like to remain friends with him. What do I do?
2007-03-15 17:57:11 · 18 answers · asked by torn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know you two must have a good chemistry between the two of you. It feels good to be with someone you have this mutual admiration! There is few people you will ever have this type of attractions and its a shame if you have to deny yourself or him of this great feelings.
Yes, I am afraid that his fiancee would view this as cheating.
That being said it would be wise to limit the kissing part and just remain friends as long as he is engaged to his fiancee.
Fair is fair..put yourself in HER shoes. How would you feel if your B/F did this to you. Remember what goes around comes around! Also this is bad karma and you might get some cheap thrills but what happens when he marries this gal? Are you going play second fiddle?
What to do is break off even the e-mails as long as this guy is
some Else's "I Love You"---if you want to "'be somebody special" then do the right thing. You know what you are now doing is wrong...but if you can live with a cheater then do whatever you want...remember if he cheats on her...he could cheat on you! Good Luck...
2007-03-15 18:11:00 · answer #1 · answered by Louella R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why is he engaged? that girl needs to ditch him. he's a cheater. just cause you're the one he's cheating with doesn't make him right.
if you are not physical, how did you kiss?
it's too bad that you are like that
it's too bad he is like that
that poor girl
it wouldn't be considered cheating if he was honest with his FIANCE. even about the emails or the time alone together.
but then if he was honest, he wouldn't be engaged
but on the other side of it, you are obviously not more important to him than she is or he would let her go. he is using you for the booty call pretty much, even if it's just lunch or a kiss once in a while.
I would hate to be second best when i think what I have is so wonderful.
better question: if you were about to marry someone and they were doing the same things that he is doing, would you consider it cheating? i think you would. You marry womeone who is #! in your life.
well, you probably are not the only girl he is seeing on the side, he seems really good at manipulating women. (even if you think you are the only one, his fiance thinks that too.
1. you are getting used (even if you like it)
2.what is wrong with women who can't find their own man
3. this is a very sad situation
4. what goes around comes around (be looking for it)
what if you and him remain friends, he gets married, and you become friends with his wife, would you be a good friend?
i don't want any of this to sound mean, its just sad is all
2007-03-15 18:08:12 · answer #2 · answered by Stamping Machine 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes of course it's cheating!! what did you think it was?? .You guys have kissed, he is engaged so he's at fault as well, I feel so sorry for his fiance'e. You need to back off and stop meeting him like this and kissing on the sly, how would you feel if you were the fiance'e and your boy was doing this to you, put yourself in her shoes. If you want to remain friends you need to know your boundaries and tell him that this has to stop and you can only be friends, but I some how don't think that you can be friends, as there appears to be feelings. The kindest thing to do is to not communicate with him anymore. Please consider this other girls feelings.
2007-03-15 18:09:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on how you hang out and what content is in those e-mails. If they are e-mails with love or sexual content toward each other than it is considered some sort of adultery. it's not really fair for the fiance to be treated this way. It's really up to you whether you think this relationship is either right or wrong.
If you are concerned about it let him know. If he doesn't want to be friends with after that then he wasn't worth dealing with. Keep in mind that continuing a relationship with this man might be tricky, i mean, who is to say that you and his fiance are the only ones.
2007-03-15 18:05:35 · answer #4 · answered by Elyse h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you actually have to ask someone about this question don't you think it is trouble or wrong? I think you have answered your own questions with your own questions. I don't think it is right, and I do think it is a form of cheating. For heaven's sake, you KISSED him and you have a "relationship" with long emails. If he can't tell his fiance about you then something is wrong and needs to be stopped. Let him know that you want to be only friends and nothing more. See what he says and where it goes from there.
2007-03-15 18:08:48 · answer #5 · answered by . 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BE PREPARED FOR DRAMA. what a tangled web we weave, what do you think will happen when his fiancee finds these emails? or word gets out? YOU will be in the HOT POT, is he worth it? If you think you can just MILD the relationship without ceasing all contact, u can try. but do not continue the same level of intimacy. its not a good sign. why seek companionship with a cheater anyway? please knock the relationship down to ACQUAINTANCE. you dont want drama ESPECIALLY AT WORK!!!
2007-03-15 18:25:19 · answer #6 · answered by Not here 2 make friends 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a great way to find a lot of trouble. And thats the only thing that will come from this relationship is a while lot of trouble. It could cost him his fiance and maybe one or both of you your jobs depending on the company policy. Your best course of action would be to stop real quick and keep the relationship completely plutonic.
2007-03-15 18:08:40 · answer #7 · answered by Steveo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is cheating, you can cheat on someone and not be physical with someone else. its called emotional cheating. i've had it done to me before. i'd rather have just been physically cheated on. it hurt worse. your best bet, since its a co worker it to dump him and find someone else. these things NEVER work out and only cause heart ache and trouble. but you'll do what you want, even if everyone here say to do the opposite. they always do. and in the end you'll learn and you hopefully wont do it again.
2007-03-15 18:04:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break. It. Off. In spite of your feelings, this is going to a bad place unless he calls off his engagement soon and wants to be with you.
If you must know his feelings, tell him you want him to be aware that you want him. Tell him he needs to know your feelings because you'd never forgive yourself for never putting that out there.
If he has no plans to cut off the engagement, then what you need is no more e-mails, no more hanging out, much more limited, professional dialogue. Anything else, and you're just teasing yourself at best and becoming a home-wrecker at worst.
2007-03-15 18:01:12 · answer #9 · answered by Buying is Voting 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course its cheating.. Pls, don't do this to yourself, you should find a guy that you can call your own... Because even if you date him etc, thats all you going to have.. He's not going to leave his fiancee for you, so please value yourself and don't let yourself be the second girl in his life.. Be some guys girl... okay? so love yourself....
-even if you so call relationship with this guy? its just only you calling it a relationship, he calls it cheating on his girl... So, tell him to make a choice for get it and find yourself a guy... hope that helps.
We can be friend
2007-03-15 18:02:52 · answer #10 · answered by Rain L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋