My daughter won't fall asleep on her own....please help....?

Question

My three-year old used to be great about falling asleep. We'd tuck her in & she'd go to sleep without a hitch. Lately, however, she insists on having someone sit with her until she falls asleep. This has been going on for the past month & so far, we've given in. I'm worried that we might be setting ourselves up for a huge problem. How should we handle this setback?

Answer 1

You have been given some good advice by others. Something else you might want to try maybe in conjunction with the advice is to set a chair in her room for you to sit in. Stay in the chair near her bed with your eyes closed or at least look down at the floor so she has no eye contact. Keep the chair in the same place for a couple of nights, then move it closer to the door. Sit quietly in the chair...no eye contact and leave the chair there for a couple more nights and move it closer to the door. Eventually you and your chair will be outside her room and she should be going to sleep on her own. This shouldn't take much longer than a week. Don't talk to her as she'll think it's just a time to visit. Another thing you could try is to follow a quiet routine at night...bathing...story...etc. Walk her to her bed...don't carry her...and tell her it's bedtime and that it's time to sleep. Leave the room. If she comes out walk her back to bed and tell her goodnight. After that if she gets out of bed walk her back and don't say anything...avoid eye contact. Keep it up until she stays in her bed and goes to sleep. She knows that she's supposed to be in bed. What ever advice you try from anyone, stick to it for about a week before trying something else. You want to make sure you're consistent. Good luck!

Answer 2

Your daughter might be afraid of some thing.Try giving her a cup of warm chamomile tea or a cup of orange peel tea[boil an orange rind until slightly orange and add a teaspoon of sugar.Give her a warm bath and a massage[Johnson puts out this lavender rub] Read her a bedtime story.Provide a night lite for her.After you read her the story trying teaching her a prayer.Tell her about the angels that will sleep with her at night.Buy her an angel doll to sleep with, Then put on some easy listening music.If she still persists then take the next step and let her know that she will go to sleep and reassure her that you will be there when she wakes upKiss her goodnite and tell her how special she is and how much you love her then leave the room /Don't give in....After she gets used to the new routine you'll be fine Good Luck...By the way... this works on my 2 yr old grandson

Answer 3

My son had the same problem and tonite is the third night he has stayed in bed and gone to sleep alone again.
This is what i did to fix it,
First of all, I got a routine going starting with dinner. dinner is at 7 every night then bath at 730, pj's and brush teeth after bath and then a book. Lights out upstairs except one night light and we turn on soft music promptly at 8.
For the first 3 days after we got the routine going (which took about a week for him to get used to) I layed next to him on the bed (which is what he wanted) when he would try to play with my hair I would simply say Its na-nite time and move his hand away. Anytime he tried to do a distraction I just said that "its nanite time" I didnt say anything else like NO or whatever. after 3 days he was falling asleep pretty quickly, so i moved to sitting at the end of his bed. He tried more distractions the first night but the second night he fell asleep quickly. after 3 days of sitting on the end of his bed i changed to sitting in a chair next to his bed. The 3 days after that i moved the chair a little closer to the door. (see where this is going?) once i was in the chair it really only took one day for him to be comfortable with the chair moving a little more each time. once i got to the door it took 3 days again for him to get used to it. And again when i was out the door, but once i was out the door i just left the chair so he could see the back of it from his bed but he couldnt tell if i was in it or not. By now he just assumed i was in it and he went to sleep! Tonite i moved the chair back to the dining room and he didnt make a peep about it.

Hope that gives you some inspriation or new ideas.

I have 3 children and come from a family of 9 where i am the middle child. I have been a Preschool teacher and infant teacher before i was a stay at home mom.

Answer 4

It may just be a faze, don't make a big deal about it or I should say, don't make a big deal about it with her.
If you haven't tried this already, then maybe start reading a book or two during this "new " time of hers that she is unable to fall asleep. After all, she is growing at remarkable speeds in ways that we can't see as well. Meaning her mind is growing. My daughter is 8 and she has gone through (and still is) going through different stages. Sleep is one.Everytime she shifts into a different pattern, I adjust my schedule again!! " : ) She hasn't let me read to her in a long time but she likes to read in bed, with the light on , so if the TV is off, and its past her bedtime, i let her read herself to sleep... I would start quiet time earlier, and do something with her, sometimes they think they are getting more time.
Lisa./

Answer 5

I think you are doing the right thing. Don't second guess yourself. Obviously she needs your attention and comfort right now. Even though they play with dolls and what not all day...they really have a lot going on in there little heads...so a little comfort never hurt. I'm sure if you were having a stressful month and you asked your significant other to stay up with you for a bit, or rub your back to sleep..they would. Don't worry, I think you sound like a great parent and that you have no need to second guess yourself!

Answer 6

She is just now getting to the nightmare stage. When I was a child I dreaded going to bed because I was afraid. I often thought about it all day. This continued until my teenage years. I think the most important thing to do for your child is make her feel safe and protected. Take the fear out of bedtime. If you make a big issue out of this stage it will only stick around longer. Lay down with her, cuddle, love on her. Give her some sense of control over this scary time instead of making her feel abandoned. After a while when she seems less traumatized. Tell her that big girls need to learn to fall asleep on their own. Have her lay down alone for five minutes, then ten, etc. by herself. After the time has passed, check in on her as you promised. If she is not asleep lay down with her, but tell her tomorrow we'll do it a little longer. Say "I know you are going to be able to do this because you're tough and you know that you are safe. Keep extending the time until she's asleep when you check on her. We laid down with our son every night until he was almost five. It usually took him 5-10 minutes to fall asleep. Bed time was never a big deal at our house ever. He did not dread bedtime and actually looked forward to cuddle time. We did the phase out thing I described above and it worked great. After five years, he took about four or five days to adjust. Now he tells us it's his bedtime and gets in bed. We leave the door open so he can hear us talking etc and he falls right asleep. Later, we go in and close his door :)

Answer 7

Its ironic because I just found my 3 year old daughters key. She was good at going to bed then all of a sudden she wanted to get out of bed and talk after she had been tucked in every night.?!? At first I thought something was wrong so I babied her, then it was repetitive so she got in trouble. So our solutin was to give a reason to want to go to bed like a big girl. We made her a calendar and she gets a sticker every night for going to bed the first time. It has worked for the past two weeks so far, I would suggest finding her key.

Answer 8

i imagine your mindset about this should be diverse. She might want to've gotten damage and it is your duty to exhibit screen her in any respect circumstances. I understand issues ensue and also you fell asleep, yet next time basically be more beneficial conscious and careful. when you replaced her diaper, you should've positioned her in her crib instead of on the floor for her nap. i'd be disenchanted if i got here across my husband asleep and our infant crawling round freely with none supervision. i visit understand why your spouse is mad, she trusts you to look after your infant at the same time as she is lengthy gone, she did not assume for this to ensue. basically be careful, and all of us make mistakes. I easily do not imagine your spouse ought to carry a grudge and stay mad at you for a lengthy time period over this lol. i'm particular she will be able to quiet down and get over, yet she'll always remind you about this.

Answer 9

start on a friday night so that you have a weekend to work on this and can miss some sleep

comfort her and reassure her that everything is ok, give her a kiss and tuck her in...stay for a few minutes then walk out of the room

if she follows you go put her back and tuck her in again, tell her it is time for bed, give her a kiss and hug, tuck her in again and tell her she is has to stay in bed

do that a few times

hopefully it will work

when my kids were small they usually were good at falling asleep..my son was still in a crib and he had a setback like this...since he was still in the crib he wouldn't come out...i'd go in every five minutes to reassure him that everything was ok but that he had to go to sleep

slowly i increased the time to 10 minutes, then 15 minutes...he slowly got back into his routine

good luck and one bit of advise....this was my main guideline when raising my kids...

if you're not willing to do something all the time then don't ever do it once...my grandmother used to say that what kids learn in one minute takes days to unlearn...smart woman!

trust me...this goes for lots of things...cutting crusts off bread, hahaha...anything

Answer 10

After a month she isn't going to give up this routine easily. 3's are known for going through that huge, "I'm Scared" phase. Many times they are also afraid they will miss something.

If she goes to sleep quickly with you in there then I would just do it. They are only little once.

If she doesn't go to sleep then I would give her the chance to close her eyes or you'll leave. Once they eyes shut and stay shuut she will sleep. SD