He always talks about it, and says he will be safe by using a condom and i'm just not sure that at this age, i'm ready. Lots of ppl my age are sexually active and i know that if we are being safe, i won't get pregnant, i just don't know what to do. i'm afraid if i don't he will break up with me, but i also believe that he won't break up with me because we have been together forever. And i know sex is pleasurable, and i really do get urges sometimes, i just don't know if i should.
2007-03-15 16:33:04 · 45 answers · asked by Ida 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are the only one that can deide if you are ready or not. Sex is a big responsibility, and even if protection is used the chance of pregnancy still exists. If he is "the one" for you he will wait until you are ready.
2007-03-15 16:36:45 · answer #1 · answered by Misty M 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the truth, Just because that the both of you say that you are going to use a condom, does NOT mean that you won't get pregnant, or get anything else. In my opinion, you should wait, If you have been with him forever, then he will respect your decision to wait... If he can't wait, then he doesn't truly respect you, as a person, or the one he truly loves. If he truly loves you, then he will wait.
You may believe that you will be safe with a condom, or on birth control, or what ever else you are using, but anything could happen. To be safe wait. You are only 16. You may have been with him, for what you feel like has been forever, but who knows you may, later on in life, my find someone else. Don't let him pressure you into something that you are unsure of.
If you are really, really close to your mom, or dad, talk to them about it, or even go to someone who you do trust. Just think about your options here. You have your whole life ahead of you, keep your mind on you school. Make something out of your self. You can do the right thing, trust yourself, and your beliefs. Good Luck!!!!
2007-03-15 16:48:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are doubting yourself throughout your question......that definetly means you are not ready. First off hun, if this guy cares about you and truly understands what a relationship is all about which is not sex....then he should understand what the sentence.." no I am not ready to have sex." means. I would not worry about anyone else who is having sex. The society makes things like this(sexual nature) seem "OK" when it is really dangerous. You two are so young and have so many things to learn. Everyone does. Sex is suppose to be with someone special ( husband/wife). Sexual tramitted diseases are lurking for its next victims...which a condom does not protect against..(belief it or not) you are not sure of this possible sexual relationship...therefore you need to slow down and so does he. If he leaves you because you are not giving it up then therefore you know what type of person he was really. Prepare yourself for the worst. I have been through this similar situation and its all games. Being in your teens and early 20's is hard to grasp when in this sexual realm. You need to tell him how you feel. and if he does not get it...well babe..he needs some room....and you need to understand that sex is not the answer to the best closest relationship ever. It will make things worst...screw the condoms and safety. Abstinenece is the best method. God Bless. and take this advice. Experience in all the right places.
2007-03-15 16:42:19 · answer #3 · answered by old 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Boys always talk about sex, always, always, always. That is part of growing up. Girls talk about it also, just in slightly different ways. Just because he is talking about it does not mean that you have to have sex with him.
If you are uncomfortable about this, do not do it. Just because a lot of young people your age are sexually active, this does not mean that they should be.
The only birth control that is one hundred percent effective is self-control which means abstinance.
You seem to think that having sex is going to make this young man stay true to you. The chances of that happening are very limited. Most young people do not remain with their teenage boyfriends or girlfriends, regardless if they have sex or not.
There are tens of thousands of teenage mothers in this world, who were positive that they would never get pregnant if they were careful, if the boy used condoms, if if if.
You did not mention love and respect in your question at all. These are two important factors between couples who have sex. You can only have sex once: andt then you will no longer be a virgin. You really want to consider waiting until you are with the person you will be with for your lifetime.
All human beings get urges, that does not mean that we have to act on those urges. We have the ability to know when decisions are the right ones for us, and you are questioning this decision too much to be comfortable with it.
If your boyfriend leaves you because you would not have sex with him, he does not respect you, nor love you. You do not want to have sex with someone who does not value your thoughts and feelings.
Please, have enough respect for yourself to wait a bit longer to make such a decision. Best of luck to you.
2007-03-15 17:02:20 · answer #4 · answered by Sue F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend..........."Fools rush in where Angels dare to tread"
First of all..How old is your Bf? Don't say he is over 18yrs, because if he is, there are laws against his having sex with you. So tell your parents and drop this fool.
Other wise,
Do what your heart tells you don't succumb to pressure. First of all tell him that your first time should be special and not in some hiding spot, hoping not get pregnant. There are lots of emotions connected with having sex and regrets should not be one you have to live with. Condoms do break or even get pin prick holes, many a babies have been born this way. If he is your soul mate and truly loves you,then he will wait. if not, move on to someone who cares enough to wait until the time is right for both of you. Sex should not be your biggest priority at this stage of life. Besides why buy the cow when, the milk is free?
2007-03-15 16:48:19 · answer #5 · answered by lorianne 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Urges are not a reason to have sex.And if that boy is shallow enough to leave you just because you won't have sex with him he won't be worth the tears you shed.Never EVER have sex with someone because you're afraid theyll leave you if you don't.All they want is that and once they get it you have nothing more thats new to them. If you are not 100% ready then don't do it.If you do most likely you'll regret it later.I had sex for the first time when i was 15, that was young yes and will i regret it one day,probably not...but thats because i was 100% sure of what i was doing.I had plans in place if something were to go wrong or such.And the most important thing,he was willing to wait for me.There was no pressure at all.If you tell him no and he still pressures you lose him because he doesnt respect you.Don't ever do something that important for someone else,if you're going to do it,do it for you because you feel ready,because you are 100% sure.
2007-03-15 16:47:05 · answer #6 · answered by Liana 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm 23 almost 24 now. I lost my virginity at the age of 16. I in fact have been with quite a few girls, not tons but a few. Although I can't say that I regret it, I definitly wish I would have waited. High school relationships, even though we think at the time will last forever, usually don't, and it is impossible for anyone to convence you otherwise. I would like nothing more than to give my future wife something as special as my virginity, and now even I am more interested in girls that are virgins, not to try and take it away but it does give them a certain classy aspect that help me respect them. Everyone everywhere is advertising sex like if you don't do it then you are not cool. Our society makes it hard, especially for girls I'm sure, to maintain their dignity and still be well noticed, but if you can pull it off, it will make you more irresistable than ever.
2007-03-15 16:41:45 · answer #7 · answered by Dave A 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
honey, it will be bad for you in the long run. just because you are safe doesnt mean you cant get pregnant... shoot, thats how my brother was born. But your bf may just be dating you just to get in your pants and tehn ditch you or treat u like crap (no offence.. ive seen it happen though) Some people who look up to you may look down on you because is young to be sexually active. Also, the first time hurts. there is a chance you wont even enjoy it. You can also be sure word will get out. (believe me, guys can NOT keep a secret like this) the whole school will know. trust me. and then thats where the rumors come in. and if you DO get pregnant, you have the whole debate about abortion.... its just complicated, wouldnt it just be a lot easier to save it for the man you are goint to spend the rest of your life with?
2007-03-15 16:38:57 · answer #8 · answered by Beanie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had the same experience, if you're not ready don't do it..make sure it's special...because it's like..seriously something that you have to be ready about.
Do not do it just because you feel pressured, i'm not gonna lecture you like these people..all i gotta say is follow your heart and if you make a mistake then have no regrets. If you don't have sex and he breaks up with you, that should tell you something about him..right? If you get urges...you should have alternative sex....oral sex, masturbation..etc...Good luck and remember do not do anything that you arn't certain ff as it is very special..very sacred.. and you gotta be READY!
2007-03-15 16:39:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, I'm a guy and had first had sex when I was 14. If you're not comfortable with it morally, don't do it. If it's because you're unsure of how, do it. One thing though, using a condom does not completely protect you. A condom may break or semen may leak out. The only true protection is abstinence. Talk about it with him if your not ready, if he loves you, it will not be a problem. Give him a BJ!
2007-03-15 16:57:11 · answer #10 · answered by bn575 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i suggest you keep your virginity till you're married..
its very intelligent of you to not give it to him even though he's been asking for it many times.
it's too precious to be given away just like that..
if he really loves you,he should respect you and your decision.
he shouldn't be forcing you to do it.
DO NOT care if others your age are doing it or not!
its peer pressure.
ask yourself.are you ready for it?
are you mentally prepared for what's gonna happen?what if it doesnt turn out what you thought it would?
i heard it would hurt and bleed the first time.
try to get him to see it from your point of view.talk things through.
the decision ultimately still lies on you,whether you're matured enough to handle the situation,engage in premarital sex,and hold the risk of getting pregnant.
he says he will use a condom.
but does he know how to use it?its not 100% safe.
what if he runs away after he takes away your virginity?
how can you be sure he will not?
but if you really have to do it,make sure you get all the right precautions and stuff..
gOoD luck!
:)
2007-03-15 16:51:42 · answer #11 · answered by tinklefaerie88 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋