What should I do if my BF is jealous?

Question

I have always been friends with guys and not so much girls. Now since I just moved to a new school and I have this neighbor who is the first guy I talked to, my new bf said he feels uncomfortable with me hanging out with him. I don't want to stop hanging out with my neigbor but I don't want to call it quits with my bf either! What should I do?!?! If you need more details I'll edit this too. Just ask for more.

Answer 1

Often when one partner is excessively possessive and jealous, it turns out to be a case of the jealous spouse "projecting." He may believe that if the situation were reversed he'd be tempted to cheat, therefore he convinces himself that you must feel the same way and would act the same way.

Don't argue about it, it will just make you appear defensive and maybe even guilty in your spouse's eyes.

You've been married a long time, too. Sometimes insecurities set in when you've been together so long. You can't always control these feelings, and they aren't always rational. You may start wondering if your spouse still finds you attractive, or perhaps you've begun taking each other for granted. Then suddenly something happens to make you see your spouse as a man again and not just a father and/or husband.

An innocent kiss or even a look from another man, may suddenly have caused your spouse to realize that you are not just his wife, but you are an attractive woman who can still turn a man's head. That can definitely make someone insecure. Often an insecure person, will lash out in an attempt to regain control and confidence by putting someone else down. Certainly not a mature way to cope, but neither is it uncommon.

My husband and I kind of went through a similar situation. We'd been married for about 10 years, when he found out a friend of his had a "crush" on me. Needless to say he was not pleased. I finally got sick of his jealousy, and we sat down and had a long talk. And believe me, it was like pulling teeth to get him to cooperate, but eventually we worked things out. He still doesn't paticularly like it when other guys flirt with me, especially younger guys, but we deal with it and we COMMUNICATE. Now we are both allowed to have friends of the opposite sex and even flirt, but we make sure to let each other know they're not taken for granted, that we still love each other, and try to always reassure each other that while we may flirt the only people we are really interested in and attracted to are each other. And we've promised to always be honest with each other. He tells me about the customer who came on to him at work, and I tell him that I spent an hour talking to a male friend on the phone while he wasn't around. He even laughed when I told him about the cute younger guy who...um... "reacted physically" to me when I flirted with him.

It may not work for everyone, but it's done wonders for our relationship.

Answer 2

Girl, he doesn't own you! You can choose your own friends. But the other side of the coin says if you would be comfortable with him talking to another girl like you talk to your neighbor, then you're probably cool! But you should be prepared to break-up if he can't handle it.