My daughter has 3 children, and has decided that she is no longer interested in men. Her lover is a thug, and a dope dealer and she has given me the children to care for, the problem is the children seem to resent me for this, what can I do to help the children understand I am there for them and no one else.
2007-03-15 16:22:48 · 17 answers · asked by Boo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just keep being open and loving with the children. They will understnd later.
2007-03-15 17:41:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you and the children. I pray that you have the courage and the ability to get the children through this. I have a son who has recently went through a divorce. They have three children also, they are constantly arguing over something and not putting the children first. At least she had the good sense to give you the kids where they would be taken care of and loved. Keep the faith and rely on good instincts, friends, and family to help you with them. In the end they will know who loves them and will take care of you in the end. Who knows your daughter may have second thoughts later after she get a wild streak out of her system and come home and want to do the right thing by the kids.
2007-03-15 16:39:30 · answer #2 · answered by nanny50 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I would reassure the children that it isn't their fault. So many times children feel as if they have done something wrong- when in reality its the adults. Second, Even though you seem upset that your daughter has done this- don't let the children see you angry. Try not to say hurtful or mean things about their mother in front of them. If they continue to hear how bad their mother is they will resent the person that is taking care of them. Instead give them a home they deserve- with love, respect, and understanding.
Maybe one of these days your daughter will wake up and realize what she is doing wrong- hopefully this will be soon- that way she, the children and you can began to rebuild the brokenness of the home.
hope this helps!!
2007-03-15 16:30:01 · answer #3 · answered by butterfly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure they will ever completely 'not want mom'. But over time they will see that you are the one who cares for them. For one it may not take long, for another it may take a long long time. Still, as time goes on and you are "the one", even the toughest one will know even if they don't show it.
You did not ask for this responsibility, but I pray you will keep the children's best interest in mind. May God give you strength.
2007-03-15 16:32:23 · answer #4 · answered by howdigethere 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I apologize for being direct:
But that's what dopers DO: make very poor choices in life.
The only thing you could do is take care of the kids, don't talk their mother down, but explain to them that they are (hopefully) secure where they are now.
Investigate your legal options. You may have your daughter evaluated and/or committed. Dry her out and a process of deprogramming. Cross your fingers that she is strong enough to start taking responsibility for the herself, then prove herself AGAIN with the kids.
.
2007-03-15 16:35:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've hit a touchy subject.
Not about lesbians heh, just about people picking a lover over their children.
I've never met anyone who has picked their lover over their children but if i did WHOO watchout. I can't really explain why it annoys me so much, it just does.
Sorry - but ur daughter is a selfish **** for putting her sexual and emotional needs infront of her kids.
I dont think you really can let the kids know, they won't believe you. They will realise in time!
2007-03-15 16:28:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
don't do the whole "no one else cares for them" the last thing these kids need is to feel unloved, and you can't turn the kids against their mom. it will backfire and damage the kids. the mom is chasing something that she feels is love. it will fizzle or she will get hurt and she'll hit rock bottom and see clearly again. don't take it personally that they resent you, they are angry and hurt and throwing it on you, cause you're right there. it's just projection. be strong for them and don't take it personally or burn any bridges for them.
2007-03-19 13:38:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unconditional love.
Show them you love them, give them compassion and give them support and give them your love. Ignore the resentment, just ignore anything they might do or say that is hurtful to you, they are just expressing their own hurt. They do not mean to take it out on you, children don't know how to properly deal with these kinds of emotions and hurt.
Just be there for them. Love them. They will understand on their own. They just need your love and support.
2007-03-15 16:27:26 · answer #8 · answered by Samantha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is lots greater straightforward to place the accountability for feeling indignant, aggravated or disenchanted on somebody else. "He made me so disenchanted approximately how he spoke to me". The humorous area is particularly how in lots of cases do you hear persons provide accountability to somebody else while they sense satisfied, joyous and basically common sturdy. i don't likely think of it unavoidably has to do with inferiority. i think of it lies greater with self-fairly worth and vanity. a guy or woman who feels sturdy approximately themself will settle for his or her moods as their very own and could not place the blame on others. Or, they're going to come across a thank you to artwork it out and recover from it.
2016-12-19 06:30:03 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel bad for you.
Pray, pray, pray.
Pray for help and assistance and stay consistent for those children. Give them time and be there for them. They are mad , hurt and confused. Be their rock.
God bless you.
2007-03-15 16:28:24 · answer #10 · answered by Mr realistic...believer in truth 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋