If you were my girlfriend, would the following bother you?

Question

I was thinking about something, and I was wondering why something bothered my exes. I have been told I'm too nice. I stopped trying to be so nice, but that's still the excuse women used when dumping me. People on here have said they were just not mature enough to handle a guy like me or something like that. I open doors, I offer to pay for meals, I give gifts (not very often) for no reason. Is that really being too nice, or was that JUST an excuse? I've been thinking some of them (the gold diggers) were really just using me until they got tired of me. I have a good job, and it shows when I go out. I drive a 2007 Chrysler Sebring with the works. The OBVIOUS gold diggers aren't the only women I attract, but could all the others still be considered gold diggers if they didn't "deny me the pleasure" of paying for their meals? Maybe I'm answering my own questions, but I want to know if my gut feelings are right.

I am by no means clingy. They have plenty of space, but not so much they feel I'm being distant. I'm just nice. That's it.

It sound like justin y is trying to tell me to act like that guy in "Just Friends." What's his name? Ryan something. Anyway, I'm not going to be an asshole just to have a relationship. It's not worth it to change myself for someone else. If I wanted to change, that would be fine, but I don't think I have to change for anyone. I like the way I am. As a matter of fact, I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than change for someone other than myself.

Answer 1

Chilvary is not dead. I throughly appreciate men who go the traditional role when dating.


Quite honestly I could care less what you drive, just because you are doing these things for her doesnt mean you are a "great man". A lot of men assume that buying gifts, driving a nice new car, and treating a woman out is all it takes to win ours hearts over (assuming this woman is not a complete asshole on purpose and not a self proclaimed gold digger). But its not that easy. ANYONE can buy us food and open the doors for us, but we need more than just material possessions and kind gestures to be won over.

The same goes for women on that note...just because we gave a guy that we are casually dating the ride of his life (and you know what "ride" Im talking about) does not mean that he'll bump us up to girlfriend status after that star performance. 9 times out of 10 we still fail to see that and wonder why he never calls us back afterward.

So anyway I think you should look beyond what you have "done" for these women thus far and question some of the deeper things that happened in your relationship to make them end the way they did. Did you do too much for her in the beginning? Did you allow her to run over you? If what you stated above is a common reason as to why women have broken up with you, then maybe its time you find a different approach to dating.

Answer 2

always trust your gut! :) i say B.S. to them all giving that excuse of you being Too nice. no one can be TOO nice, sorry. and what the heck are their problems.. from everything you said on here you sound like the Perfect boyfriend material. Any girl in her right mind i would think would like a guy who is nice and treats them nice like that. i think you've just gotten some duds. i've actually had a very similar problem lately.. i can't figure out why people give such lame excuses.. i guess they can't come up with anything better - probably because you are so nice and without flaw that there IS no excuse.. they just feel they can't match up to how great you are i guess, so that's why they have to come up with Something - that being you are Too nice. the first guy i fell in love with just gave me the excuse that i was Too good looking and smart for him.. i mean what's up with these lame-*** excuses. all i can say is that you will find a girl who appreaciates you for all of your wonderful qualities and who REALIZES how lucky they are with all they have! and probably Some were just using you... some people are just like that.. it's horrible, but that's how the world works. you'll get some bad ones out there.. but there's always still someone better just waiting around the corner! you just have to find them -- and you will. you are amazing. don't let people change you or "lower" you so to speak. you deserve better than what all these girls are doing to you. you'll also find someone who doesn't only want to keep you around for your money. there is someone out there trust me. we aren't All bad. good luck and i wish you only the best!! :)

Answer 3

oh this is a hard question......us nice ones (guys OR girls) always seem to get the shaft. we are putting our selves out there to be stepped on, when the wrong person comes along. people dont like other people that will give them everything. then its boring. we'll keep them around for a while because its fun, but they dont excite us. im not saying that you should change, by any means, but thats just how it seems to be. give them a little bit of a challenge sometimes. dont call all the time. leave them hanging a little bit. dont be a jerk about it, you can still pay for dinner, but dont smother them with niceness. its a sad truth. girls need to take the same advice!!! nobody likes a clinger, believe me, been there, been that, cant be that again.

Answer 4

They could just be using that excuse to dump you for a good reason so you dont feel bad. This might sound harsh, but if that many woman have dumped you, wouldn't you think its you not them?

Maybe you act too clingy by being nice?? Maybe you're looking in the wrong places for women.

When a guy offers to pay for my food, i always fight him about it because i want to pay my own way. Maybe you need to look for women who do pay their own way or are willing to do things for you in return.

Answer 5

lol..Girls don't like nice buddy - in fact girls don't know what they like. You're right, girls arn't mature enough to handle you, hell if you were older all the girls would be all over you (30s). One lesson i've learned is that girls are cruel and you gotta fight dirty too if you wanna survive! In fact I used to be the "nice guy" but all I got was, friendship...That is just not what we're looking for right, let me tell you man to man HELL NO thats not what we look for. If you want girls to like you, you gotta do many things such as...be an asshole sometimes, it works trust me - laws of nature do apply if you act like you don't care it makes them want you more!

As far as an excuse goes, you're right girls use that as an excuse but guys do too. Howevever, if you're so nice to the point of being..uhh metrosexual or homosexual, then thats just unattractive...Girls are stereotypically, "nicey" Guys are rugged and mysterious. Remember that!

Do note that you take these suggestions with a grain of salt, in fact i've been nice to many girls and in fact I have dated many of them through this..But when I was in high-school that was definantly the key for me to be an asshole. Now that i'm in College, girls definantly like fun easy going guys better and to be honest...I haven't even paid for dinner for a long time..Strange. Haha, try to avoid "getting played" or "used" but be courteous and buy girls lunch or coffee or whatever not too flashy it makes it awkward, open doors and buy flowers my man. Good luck and I hope you get all the girls!

Answer 6

Don't stop being yourself!! There are so many guys who treat their woman like crap. IT's nice to know there is a gentleman that can still treat a woman with respect and dignity. You shouldn't think that it is you. Obviously they have issues. You are traditional and there are so many woman that would die to have u. The woman that left you will regret it when they end up with a cheap asshole who treats them like a doormat. Good luck I hope you find someone who deserves you!!!!

Answer 7

I think that women like danger and spontaneity. They want to know that he's not at their beck and call. Also, that he can live without you. Sometimes, just don't care attitude is needed. I do not think that you have to change yourself, but women need a hint of bad boy behavior sometimes. Just like men want women to act like a b**** in bed and a lady in the street. Same thing....spice it up.

Answer 8

Don't change who you are. There are lots of women out there who will appreciate you. You just haven't found the right one yet. In essence, your exes have done you a favor leaving you free to find the right person. Be true to your nature and it will work out. Promise.

Answer 9

hmm annoying question. i admire those questions nevertheless using fact they make you extremely think of. quantity a million possibly does no longer hassle me plenty using fact the economic equipment sucks (a minimum of the place I stay) and that i does no longer take it too in my view. even nevertheless it might suck having to bypass by plenty artwork just to get a job. quantity 2 does no longer hassle me using fact i might desire to check what i became doing incorrect and particular substitute that approximately myself. quantity 3 could be some thing that would hassle me the main using fact it could be some thing that i could no longer substitute approximately myself or might might desire to hotel to three high priced technique to objective and alter it. quantity 4 does no longer disillusioned me using fact there are maximum of people interior the international and maximum of acquaintances which could actual be made quantity 5 might hassle me with regards to comparable to quantity 3 yet i will tolerate living with people and can want that to being homeless.

Answer 10

honestly, i like it when a guy keeps me on my toes, i like it when they are a little mean, it keeps things fun, and its a challenge, i think that most people like that, no one likes being showered by love all the time, people strive for what they can't have, being too nice might actually be a turn off to people. it is for me.