it's been 2 months since i got dumped but my heart still hurts what do i do?

Question

i'm a pathetic pathetic person that is falling apart because a guy didn't want me anymore! i don't want to be crying,depressed and missing him anymore.....but i can't help it!!! it hurts so bad.... why does it hurt sooooo much! i just want to be happy again. but i don't want to have a new boyfriend!!! i don't want to be in a relationship anymore but i just want this pain to be over.
please... no suggestions of suicide, rebound sex, rebound bf, booze, drugs, etc.

Answer 1

I can relate to what you feel..i also dont want boyfriend at this time of my life..im feed up with their insensitivities...
i suggest gurl that you spend time with your friends..be with them, chat with them go out with them and have fun... if your a sports loving person..engage yourself to sports.. anything that you wasn't able to do that you want to do (the healthy one of course!! ^_^) do it... i know along the way... along your search for serenity and recover from depression you'll gonna meet someone that will fill the space in your heart.. life is so uncertain.. its jz like a cycle..you love..you hurt..you recover..love again...... the cycle go on.. u jz have to handle things as best as possible..and most specially dont forget to pray for God's guidance...

AJA gurl!!! we rule... ^_^

Answer 2

I know it hurts sweetie, we all been there. Believe me it will get better. You must focus on yourself. Pamper yourself a little. You didn't say your age, but if you are old enough to go get a manicure and facial I suggest you do it. It's a great pick me up. Try a new hair style to raise your self-esteem. Say positive things to yourself instead of focusing on negativity. Maybe read a good novel that will lift your spirits. NOT those trashy romance novels but a real honest to goodness novel to take your mind into another world for a rest. A good place to find an inexpensive book is at a local thrift store. Again, I caution you, do not purchase a "romance" novel. I can suggest a really good autobiography which I am reading myself right now. It's called "Shelley". It's about the actress Shelley Winters. She was such an interesting and fascinating person. It's something you can get engrossed in and take your mind off of your pain. I wish you the best.

Answer 3

You are NOT a pathetic person. It is so normal to react that way. Of course it feels bad to be rejected. It even feels bad when we don't like the person doing the rejecting. It's just human. We give the other person so much importance.He is just one guy, there are many more. It's too bad we get hung up on the one who rejects us.

Time is the only real cure for making pain go away. New guys won't really help. They mask the problem and make it worse. You need to think about your feelings. Accept them then le them go. Put him out of your mind every time he pops in. Tell yourself consciously no I will not think about you you aren't worth it. Then do something, anything, read, run, sing loudly, anything to change your thoughts.

Answer 4

I hope you don't feel as if there was something wrong with you, and that that's why the fool left you. It might just be that you picked a guy that was wrong for you. It's important for us girls to try to figure out the type of guy that we want in our lives, and not just go out with any guy that shows an interest in us.This will save us a whole lot of heartaches.

I went through the same exact thing. Do what i did---take some time to have a heart to heart talk with yourself---try to figure out what it is that you want in a man and don't give a guy the time of day when he approaches you without possessing any of the qualities that you want in a man. You'll meet a guy one day that will treat you like the queen you are. I know it hurts but dry your tears---keep telling yourself that life is too short to spend it feeling depressed over some idiot.

Answer 5

I know its easier said than done. Do something to keep u busy especially which is a hobby.Take up a job (part time) or atleast spend some time in another state/country. These r just methods to help u stop thinking of those times. Time is the best healer etc are sayings which r true but well it often takes ages.
I'm sure u'll get over the stuff soon. I sincerely wish u all the best!

Answer 6

no break ups are easy. It really can sometimes be a tradgey. there has to be a reason you broke up. every time one of my relationships ended my sister would always say, " well, now your one guy closer to the one who is meant for you." i beleive that. if i was still with one of my old boyfriends i would have never met my fiance, who by the way, is way better than any other guy i dated. at the time you could of told me this and i'd say no, the guy i just lost was the best thing that could ever happen to me but he's not. if he was you'd still be together. unfortunatly the only thing that will make you feel better is time. when you get tired of feeling sad go out with your friends, go workout. life goes on and so will you. i promise that years from now you'll wonder why you ever were so sad. Just imagine how great he made you feel and triple it and that is what you'll feel when you are with the right person.

Answer 7

Breakups always, always suck. Time is the only way to heal them, though.

The longer the relationship, the longer it will hurt. But that doesn't mean you should be miserable forever. If you've been very upset and sad for more than two or three weeks, and think you might be depressed, think about seeing a psychologist.

If that's not it, then get out and spend more time with your friends. Focus your attention on a hobby you love or start a new hobby to meet new people.

Eventually this will stop hurting. :)

Answer 8

Im not sure what your religion is but read into Buddhism. I started to when i had a major break up about 4 mths ago, so I understand what you're going through. I wanted to DIE and couldnt get on with my life, but time does heal everything. You shouldn't crave and have desire for someone who doesn't care about you. You have no control over his feelings either. Trying to control something you have no control of only brings suffering,,,,and I know you don't want to suffer. I didnt want to feel the pain anymore so I hung out with my friends alot...went out to bars to meet new people (talking only,,,no making out or being slutty)...and I met many other new guys who are now my friends too. There are alot of other guys out there. Trust me I'm serious. I didn't believe I could pull through but I did. You're the ONLY one who has control of your life. Forget about the guy who doesn't even care that you're here crying your eyes out for him. You can continue to love him and cherish the old memories,,,,but both of you are free to find happiness...but not with each other..and that's still ok. If you really love him, realize that he's happier without you as a lover. Go read up on Buddhism.

Answer 9

My heart goes out to you. What's left of it. I absolutely know how you feel right now. My boyfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me four weeks ago this coming Sunday and I felt so pathetic and honestly like I wanted to die. I just couldn't understand how he could put me through this when he told me he loved me so much and there was no other person in the world for him. Then I find out that he found someone online and began dating this person the Saturday after we broke up. Talk about twisting the knife. I have my good days and my bad days, but without the love and support of my friends, I don't think I would be able to survive. Like me, you don't want to hear it b/c you just want him back, but you need to surround yourself with your friends. Crying and being alond doesn't help. It made me worse b/c all I would think about is him with her and how and why and that made me feel even worse than I did when we first broke up. I've even started going to the gym by myself to fill time. I've lost a lot of weight b/c of the break-up anorexia I'm going through and I'm going to feel good b/c I look better than I did while we were together. I've gone through most of the stages, too. I was in denial, then I tried bargaining and now I'm in my anger and acceptance stage. I made a list of his good vs. his bad and his bad points far far outweighed the good and since I'm angry I can see this now. When I was not ready to let go, his worse points didn't matter, but now I know I am absolutely better off b/c I really was just settling for him. I did and do love him, but he's not the one for me and it we can salvage a friendship, then I'll take that b/c he has a good heart and was a good friend, but he was and is an awful boyfriend and I see that now. But right now I'm so hurt at the betrayal of his moving on to a rebound or whatever she is that I'd love to beat the crap out of him b/c I still can't understand how you can love someone so much but all of a sudden go to someone else - and she's not even attractive. I think I'd understand if she was at least good looking, but come on. I'm sorry you're experiencing the same pain. I really feel for you b/c I know, but the last week hasn't been so bad. As everyone said, it just takes time. You may want to see a counselor, too. I'm planning to. I just want someone besides my friends to be objective and tell me I'm better off which I really know I am. I'm absolutely not ready to date anyone, but I feel excited at the aspect of meeting someone new & better. You will be once you're ready to. Best wishes for someone better or for him to realize he's made a huge mistake!

Answer 10

Listennnnn...... to ya boy. First off ma you got to get yourself right before you can completely move on. Go back to what made you happy before this guy came along. Get back to you. Forget the times when it was good thats whats making you hurt. Later you can look back and there won't be pain but now you need to let go. If yall had a song don't play it, pictures put them away or burn them(i say put them away), and stay away from your special place or spot. Take it from me just go out with your friends and have a good time. Just go back to before him. Soon it will be another page in your book of life.

Answer 11

You dont want to hear it but the EASIEST way to get over one love is another love. It just gets better and better. But this is something we all go thru, its a situation that we learn and grow from. You just have to be strong. Hang out with friends (guys and girls) and just keep your self busy. If your still in school, get into some sports, or extra activities. If you are older then go out to the club. Get a Myspace account (myspace.com) and meet some new people to hang out with and have fun. Dont cry and stress over some one that is not crying and stressing over you. Live..love..and Learn. Good luck girlie!