do u kno any funny blonde jokes????

Answer 1

a blonde, brunette and a red head went inside a bar. the bar keeper was bragging that he had a magic mirror in his bathroom, if u told the truth, u would get a gift, but if u lied, u would be sucked into the mirror.... so the red head went in first and said," i think i'm the smartest person in the world." She got a gift. Then the brunette went in and said," i think i'm the prettiest person in this world." and she got a gift. the blonde saw that both her friends got a gift each and also wanted one, so she went in and said," i think......." and she got sucked into the mirror.

A blonde told her friend very excitedly," i just finished a jigsaw puzzle that i have been working on for 6 months." her friend commented," isn't that a long time to finish a jigsaw puzzle?" " no, it isn't. the cover said 3-4 years".

Answer 2

yes, althought i have nothing against them.

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
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> > > >>> > > > she spent 20 minutes looking at the
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> > > >>> > > > orange juice box because it said
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> > > >>> > > > "concentrate."
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> > > >>> > > > she put lipstick on her forehead
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> > > >>> > > > because she wanted to "make up" her
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> > > >>> > > > she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical
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> > > >>> > > > she
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> > > >>> >sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
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> > > >>> > > > she tried to drown a fish.
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> > > >>> > > > she thought a quarterback was a
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> > > >>> > > > refund.
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> > > >>> > > > she got locked in a grocery store and
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> > > >>> > > > starved to
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> > > >>> > > > death.
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she tripped over a cordless phone.
she took a ruler to the bed to see howlong she slept.
she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
she studied for a blood test.
when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

sorry about all the >> 's in the front

Answer 3

You can kill a blonde by putting a cup at the bottom of a pool and telling her to drink it, or a scratch'n'sniff sticker and asking her what it smells like.

There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They are convicts. While running from the police they find a cellar and some burlap sacks. Each girl gets into a sack. The policeman comes in and pokes the redhead's sack. She says, "meow, meow". He pokes the brunette's sack. She says, "woof, woof". He pokes the blonde's sack. She says, "potatoes, potatoes"

Answer 4

im a blonde but i dont realy care i mean its just a joke two blondes wher on the oposet sides of a river and one blonde saids to the other how did you git to the oposet side and the other blonde saids how did you git to the other side then the other blonde saids you are on the other side.


there are four people one blonde and one red hired and one black hired and one brown thay all are stuck on an iland but then the red hired tryed to swim across but he only made it one qwarter then drowned but then the brown hired swimed for it and made it half way then drowned but then the black hired dude stayed cos he did not want to die but then the blonde swims he gos half way then swims back then the black hired siad the the blonde why did you swim back the blonde repeats i whent half way but then i got tired and whent back.....




one blonde gos to a store and saids can i bye that tv an the shop keeper siads not dumb blondes but then the blonde goes and die her hair and she gos to the store again and said can i bye that tv and the shopkeeper saids no dumb blondes then she dies her again then gos to the shop and said can i bye that tv and the shop keper said no dumb bloundes then the blonde said how did you know it was me then the shop keeper saids cos thats not a tv its a micowave

Answer 5

why did the blonde girl sleep with the Mexican ? Because her teacher told her to go home and do an essay

Answer 6

Two blondes meet in Heaven. "How did you die?", the first one asks."Oh! I died in a freezer," the second blonde replied." So how did you die?" The second blonde asks, "Well, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so one day when I came home early from work, I looked all over the house, trying to look for the other woman because I saw that my husband was naked. When I coming upstairs from searching the basement, I slipped and broke my neck. I never got to find that woman," replied the first blonde. The second blonde then says, "If only you looked in the freezer, maybe we both might still have been alive



There are three ladies working together in the same office - a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. After a while, they begin to notice that each day their boss, who is also female, leaves work early.
After this pattern continued for a few weeks, one day they decide that as soon as their boss takes off they'll leave right after her; after all, she never comes back or calls so how would she know? So, after their boss takes off they all leave as planned.
The brunette was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting her dinner date. The redhead was thrilled to be home early; she did a little gardening and went to bed early.
As for the blonde, she was so happy to finally come home early for once. But when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS! Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house without saying a word.
The next day during their coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again and asked the blonde if she wanted to go with them.
"NO WAY!" The blonde exclaimed, "I damn near got caught yesterday!"



Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?"
The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, "Of course."
The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, "352."
This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."
The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.
When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?


There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, the Blonde.
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note:
Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!


A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.


A blonde was driving down the highway very slowly, so a cop pulled her over. The cop walked up to the car and said, "Do you know how fast you were going"
And the blonde replies, "Yeah, 18 sir."
"The speed limit is 60, it is dangerous to be going this slow"
"But the sign back there said the speed limit was 18."
"Mam, that was the highway sign" as the cop said this he noticed 3 quivering girls in the back. He has to the blonde, "What is wrong with them?"
The Blonde responded, "Well, we just got off Highway 177"



Theres this lady that comes in to work and shes tryin to figure out a way to get her boss to let her have a few days off. So then she says well if i act crazey then shell send me home for a couple of days. so the next day the blonde comes in and looks up and the lady is hanging from the celling-fan. So the blonde ask her whats shes doin. and the women reply, " im a light bolb". A few mins later the boss comes in and sees that she hang on the fan and ask what she doin, the women reply. im a light bolb. the boss gets her down, tell her to go home and take a few days off and come back when she feels better. well the boss turns around and the blondes walkin out. so she says were do u think your goin? The blonde replys, I can't see in the dark!!!



here are a few lol hope you laugh i know i did

Answer 7

Dizzy blonde, asks her co-worker for advice on how to get rid of her boyfriend's dandruff. 'Give him Head and Shoulders', co-worker responds. First delighted, then confused, dizzy blonde asks 'How do you give shoulders?'

Answer 8

one day , david"s father talk with david he said dont go to pub because you will affacted by other and you will see something not sustable for you . One day david go to pub , he see his father is inside the pub !

Answer 9

Yes.

Answer 10

why did the blonde's belly button hurt?....Becasue boy blondes are dumb too!