Coping with teenage death anyone? =[?

Question

So yeah. My best friends boyfriend got killed a few months ago. idk what to do or what pace to be going at with this whole thing=[. I wish there was just a timeline that ppl had about grieving and stuff. idk. I just need help please.

So yeah. My best friends boyfriend got killed a few months ago. idk what to do or what pace to be going at with this whole thing=[. I wish there was just a timeline that ppl had about grieving and stuff. idk. I just need help please. I'm only 13. so i'm soo confused.

Answer 1

y brother killed himself 3 months ago and you CANNOT IMAGINE the pain his family and friends went through. If only he were alive today to see how everyone cared about him. . Apparently the thing that helps prevent suicide is getting involved in other peoples lives, and that helping other people makes you feel needed and important and therefor suicide becomes no longer an option.

I don't know about time line but I'd say for me after 3 months I still cry at times. I don't know how close you were to your best friends boyfriend, but try not to let her sadness make you sad too. IF you really need to, take a bit of distance. Also, in our society we are made to believe that a death is the worse that can happen and that it is so traumatic. It is but we are also so strong and can survive, IF we want to. Your friend is probably young and I know it sounds weird but this may also be a way for her to get attention. Another thing is if this is one of her first boyfriends than this is one of her first love separations. That plus death to deal with could be a lot for her.

She may be depressed. A lot of chemical reactions go on in our head, our blood and even our digestive system! IF we have a lack of some nutrients or minerals or if our body is a bit deficient (can't produce proper enzymes/ chemical reactions) than this can be throwing her moods totally out of whack. Like it will make you feel depressed or super sad when a normal person would only feel a bit sad or not sad at all. It really sucks for her if this is the case because it is very difficult for these people to understand what's going on in their head and their lives. They try to rationalize why they are feeling sad and unfortunately they may come to believe it is the teasing or their hair or their parents or anything when in reality they are stronger than that: things like this wouldn't normally put them this down, but since their brain chemistry isn't functioning properly, they keep feeling depressed and even like jumping from windows. They feel so trapped by the pain and anxiousness that they prefer jumping than staying where they are.


So there is no time line but try to find things to do that keep you feeling good about yourself. Try faking happiness and those around you will be more happy and that in turn will allow you to be happy. Sometimes if people see us sad they treat us in a sad way. It's very much okay to be sad sometimes, but if it becomes too much try a few times of faking and see if it helps. If it doesn't you may need to see a councillor. IF the first doesn't work, don't worry, there are many councillors as there are many different teachers or friends; important thing is to find one that works for you.

Answer 2

Everyone grieves at their own pace and in their own way, there is no "normal" way to do it. There are, however, normal stages that most (but not all) people go through, which include anger, depression, denial, and acceptance. Some people list more, others list fewer. People go through them in all different orders and in all different ways and spend different amounts of time in each phase. So go at your pace, and deal with it however feels right to you, and don't worry about what other people think or are doing. So sorry you had to go through this.

Answer 3

Everyone grieves at different times and different ways.
There is no normal for either.
Some people have a better grasp on what goes on, some depend on their religious faith to help them through and others depend on friends and family to make it.

Whatever works for you is right for you.

And no matter what anyone says, it's ok to laugh and remember the stupid sh*t your friend did. Sometimes that helps better than anything.

My son killed himself in Dec of 2005. I loved him dearly and I grieve for him still, but I also remember the fun times we had. His silly sense of humor, his goofy faces, all of it. Even though he's not with us phyisically, he will always be in my heart and head.