how can i get my 2 year old to eat?

Question

im worried about her. she only eats a total of a few bites of food per day. she only had 2 bites of oatmeal for breakfast, a small hand full of dry KIX for a snack, and she didnt want any dinner.. i offer her all different kinds of food throughout the day, but she doesnt want to eat! i even try junk food like french fries, etc. she just always tells me she doesnt want it.. i feel like i have tried everything from telling her firmly (sometimes i yell), to giving her a time out, to trying to trick her, i tried letter her decide when to eat, i have tried countless things from magazines. the doctors say this is just a phase, but i am so worried about malnutrition. any helpful tips out of the ordinary?

im so desperate!! ill take anything you have for me!!

Answer 1

You are in very dangerous territory right now. I'll get back to this idea later.
You must realize that children that young have extremely small stomachs. Being a mother of 2 children, I can assure you that your 2 year old will not starve or suffer malnutrition. First of all you are paying far too much attention to her eating. Children will repeat behavior if they get attention for it. Children, through trial and error and sometimes accident, figure out ways to solve problems, ways to do something that is puzzling them and of course, ways to get attention. It sounds like this attention getter, was stumbled upon by accident.
A clever way to get some extra food into your daughter would be to leave healthy treats available throughout the day. Put some cubed cheese, sliced apple, whole wheat crackers etc. on the coffee table so that she can snack when she is hungry.
I don't believe this is a 'phase'. It simply may be that your child isn't hungry. When your child goes through a growing period, she will have an increased appetite and definitely, will be hungry and want more food.
You are approaching this 'problem' (I do not believe this to be a problem) the wrong way. She is only two and you have given her more power than she can deal with. Asking her to choose her own food and pleading with her is the wrong way to deal with this. You MUST stop paying so much attention to this. Your child is revelling in the attention. You are unknowingly, reenforcing her odd eating habits and encouraging her to continue this battle over food. You must do the opposite of what you are doing now. Paying an inordinate amount of attention to food and eating will only prolong this situation. You must simply place the food in front of her when it's time for a meal and allow her to eat or not eat it. It is as simple as that. If she is hungry, she will eat. If not, she will not eat. Her body will tell her when it's time to eat - not a concerned father who is coaching her. As long as you have ruled out any medical problems, the situation will look after itself.
I mentioned that you are in dangerous territory because if you are not careful, you will be creating grounds for an eating disorder. Never offer your child 'junk' food. They will develop a taste for that soon enough. Creating so much fuss over eating is sending your child the wrong message about eating and food. Pushing a child to eat may cause your child to think that in order to please Daddy then I have to eat. You don't want your child to think food = love. What a dangerous connection to create especially when our society is over run with people who are overweight.
You sound like you really love your child. When I had my children, I knew I had no idea about raising a healthy child so I invested in a few books that gave me some solid guidelines about raising a child who is physically and mentally healthy. Sometimes, what we think is right turns out to be really wrong so seek some good advice from professionals in books.

Answer 2

Kids are smart.....they will not let themselves starve. She might just be going through a phase where is does not have an appetite. This can be scary if she has gotten over a period of eating everything (and more) in sight.
She might be getting ready to grow a few inches or she might be getting ready to cut her 2 year old molars if she has not already.
The bigger deal you make about her not eating, the bigger fight it will be. It will become a power struggle between you and your child.....and she will win because you eventually will get upset. (Kids LOVE a power struggle!)
Just let her know that you are leaving out certain snacks and this is what she has to eat during a certain time period. Don't say anything about her eating or not eating. Also, do not let her fill up on juice. Give her water or whole milk to drink, but just a few ounces at a time. If she is not filling up on liquids she might be willing to put a few more bites of food in her stomach.
Again, the most important thing to know is that kids will not let themselves starve. They have better control over not over eating than grown-ups. I would not worry unless it gets worse. It sounds "normal" to me!

Answer 3

Assuming that your child is healthy, and has been growing well up to this point, you have to learn to trust that his body will tell him when he needs to eat, and that he will not starve.

You should offer nutritious meals and snacks (generally three meals and two snacks per day are standard at this age), but do not feel that you have to make up for the skipped meal with extra food later

. If the child is not interested in what is being offered, don't get into an argument, don't try and cajole him or force him to eat. Just end the meal at the appropriate point and take the food away.

You should not offer him something else an hour later or give him an extra bedtime snack just because he missed the previous meal. If you do, that just tells him that he can continue to refuse to eat and eat whenever he wants.

That said, you do want to give him some control in this whole situation (Can you imagine how unhappy you would be if someone else cooked all of your meals but you never had any say in what was being prepared!). You can give him a choice.

For instance, ask him, "Do you want peanut butter and jelly or bologna for lunch?" If you make bologna and then he says he does not want to eat it, he'll just have to wait until the next meal to eat something.

Also, don't only make foods that you know he hates. If two of the components of the meal that you are making are things you know he doesn't like, try and make the third thing (one of the side dishes) something you know that he will eat and like. You can thus give him a larger portion of that side dish and smaller portions of the things he doesn't like and encourage him to eat in that way.

At this age it is important to offer a variety of foods and to try new foods periodically. Kids are very picky at this age and often will have spurts of interest in one particular food for a period of time and then subsequently not have an interest in that food anymore and then develop a new "favorite food".

As children get older (meaning in the five and above range) you can come to some reasonable agreement about meals and food choices. My own personal rule is that the children have to at least try the food that is on their plates. However, if they don't like it, they always have the option of eating yogurt or a bagel instead (basically things that don't require preparation and are healthful).

Sorry i wrote it all as if you have a boy, i just spotted my mistake.

Answer 4

If this has been going on for a while, I would be concerned. To help, there is a liquid multi-vitamin (poly vi sol) you can put in her milk or juice. Try pedisure. However, if she was a good eater and has recently changed her behavior, do not be to alarmed. There are days when my son won't eat a thing and it gets frustrating and then just as quickley we can't feed him enough. Keep her meal times consistent regardless of what she eats. To much shuffling will not help matters. Keep offering food like you are. I would consider avoiding the punishment or yelling because she is getting negative attention. Simply offer her whatever the meal is for that time, if she chooses not to eat it, and the family is still eating, she just has to sit and wait. When the family is done, let her down and do not offer her a snack unless it is a designated snack time. She may start eating if she gets less attention from people. Another thought is, if this continues to consult with your doctor about having her evaluated by a speech and language pathologist. She may have something physical going on that makes it difficult for her to eat. SP &L's are trained to help with eating issues, as odd as it may sound.

Answer 5

Oh don't worry at all. She is fine. Children do this. My 2.5 year old son will not eat a whole meal for a few days or just eat bananas all day but boom he will all of the sudden eat alot of food and then go back to not being so hungry.
I would say not to offer her junk food just to get her to eat either, because that has no nutritional value and then you don;t want to be in a trap where that's all she may want.

Just always eat in front of her at meal and snack times and she may just want to eat off of your plate. My son does that alot - so I fix my plate for us and he eats and I do to.

Answer 6

Don't worry about malnutrition and for goodness sakes don't yell at her about eating. Kids naturally know when they need nutrition, they have the amazing capacity to listen to their own bodies and eat when they need food, not eat when they don't. I have four kids and they've all gone thru stages of not eating much at all, especially at 2. Kids grow in spurts. When they have a growth spurt they eat more, when they level off a while, they eat less. Relax and just keep offering her healthy foods. When she's hungry, she'll eat. As long as her weight is normal at check ups, she'll be just fine.

Good luck and chill out momma! lol

Answer 7

My son is the EXACT same way. I can never get him to eat when I want. Some days he will only eat bites of food here and there, then the next day he will eat a lot of food. I'm sure it really is just a stage so just hang in there!

Answer 8

It's normal my son is 17 months old and all he will eat is hotdogs and gummy snacks. he'll eat 2 or 3 bites in the morning, nothing during the day and a couple more bites at dinner time. But he's still very energetic and happy. my ped. said all kids go though this. one day she will start a growth spurt and she'll eat every thing in sight

Answer 9

If you have taken her to a doctor and psychiatrist and she is medically and psychologically ok, then let her eat what she wants. When I was a child, I was given medicine to eat. I ended up fat and miserable for the rest of my life. I wish I was left alone. Now I am unhealthy b/c of the unhealthy food addiction, which is much more dangerous than what you describe.

You are also forcing food on your child, which must be stressful for her. Think about that.

Answer 10

Does she drink a lot of juice or milk? If so, this will fill up her small tummy and spoil her appetite. Try giving her only water to drink for a day or so and see if she decides to eat more. Offer milk or juice only after she had eaten her food.