should i meet my real father?

Question

i have never met my real father and i am wondering if i should. he lives close to me and when my mom got pregnant she told him but he took off and she hasnt talked to him since and i am 16 now. he is not the best person because he has been in and out of jail but i still sort of want to meet him. i am not sure what the best thing to do is. can anyone help?

Answer 1

I sort of had a similar situation. When my mom got pregnant with me, she decided to leave my biological father. So, when I was 6 weeks old she moved from the south to CA. During the divorce he agreed to give up his rights to me. My mom remarried when I was 3 and her new husband legally adopted me. When I was about 7 they told me that I had a biological dad, but my dad who adopted me was still my dad. When I was 16 and my adopted dad and mom decided to divorce, I planned on moving out of state to be closer to my grandparents. I decided on my own to call information to try to contact my biological father. I only knew the state and his name. I got lucky that he had a listed number. Long story short, we met before I moved. I never told my adopted dad because I didn't want him to feel betrayed; however it answered a lot of questions for me regarding genetics and even similar traits. After corresponding via letters and the phone, I got to a point where I felt like it was a fake relationship, so I just stopped the communication. Years later, like 15, I get a phone call out of the blue, where he wanted to say hello. We talked briefly and I was caught off guard. He mentioned to me that he was going blind because of adult diabetes. His sister then called me a month later to say he passed away. So, the moral is.....I now do not have the opportunity to find out more about him. I sort of wish I did. Just something to think about. You don't have to become best friends and you can set boundaries for the relationship. One day you may wish you had. Hope this helps.

Answer 2

That is a touch one, my daugter was 10 when she found out her step father was not her real father, at 15 she demanded to know who her real father was, so I tracked him down, he wasn't the best person in the world either, she went and spent a week with him and his parents. She was so excited when she came home because she thought she had a real dad. Needless to say she did not hear from him again until she was about 21, she heard from him again right after she had her third, child, that child is now 9 years old. Who knows where he is today, I can tell you this he is not in my daugther's life and she wishes she had never met him.

Answer 3

It's really up to you. There are positives and negative to meeting your birth parents. Positives are: you could get to know a really good person and have someone new to talk to when you are feeling down. Negatives are: he could be a complete jerk and could tell you things about stuff that might make you feel like crap. But the final decision is really up to you.

I Really Hope That This Helps Your Decision!
Good Luck!

Answer 4

Just because he's in and out of Jail doest prove that he's a bad guy either... Y not meet him but let ur mother know.. Tel her ur feeling of meeting him..
If ur mother tells u that u can meet him but u should not be that close with him, listen to her.. your mother would wan the best for her kid..
K.. be happydear..
But don ever neglect your mother...

Answer 5

i'm such as you as nicely. I on no account fairly knew my father, only that he had an affair with my mom, and poof there i'm! i comprehend that I also have a nil.5 sister who's barely 7 months older than me, and that i think a nil.5 brother. I even have ventured the belief of attempting to stumble on them, or fairly him. a splash distinctive than your case inspite of the indisputable fact that, i'm extra drawn to assembly my father over my different siblings. i've got not got the "daddy subjects" and that i do no longer choose any money from him. ( I additionally on no account won baby help, nor my mom from him) i'm extra or much less curious to be certain who the different 0.5 of me is. whilst specific i could be very plenty drawn to understanding my different siblings, i could on no account pass to them in the back of my fathers back and tell them what he did. i think of it somewhat is only soliciting for extra resentment than there already could be. in case you somewhat opt to get to comprehend them, do only that, yet do no longer factor palms or lay blame to something. stable luck in in spite of it fairly is you come to a decision and need all is going nicely! ( As for me, i've got not been fortunate sufficient to seek any of them down on myspace/facebook.)

Answer 6

if you dont meet him your going to wonder the rest of your life what he's like.

my dad died when i was three moths old.
he died of over-dose on crystal meth.
i never knew him.
i cry over him though
for the longest time i didnt have a dad in my life and i would cry and cry wondering why he did that to me.
but i never met him.
i really think you should.
just meet him to know who he is and what he's like..

Answer 7

meet him
otherwise you will bring that question up for the rest of your life
getting those "what if" phrases
you can only benefit from the experience
after all he is your dad right??

Answer 8

if you feel that you need to meet him do so. but be prepared for the worst. He might not care about you or maybe he's not able to care about you and you must be able to accept that if you want to meet him. Good luck!

Answer 9

yes, i think you should,, an you know you got a lot of question, to ask,, ,realy untill you do, you never feel,, right,,, met him,, an ask him why he left

Answer 10

I think you should he's probably not as bad as you think.