Ok my husband-to-be just got a new job and he will be gone from 9am until about 10pm every night and I just don't know if I like it. We have two kids and I would like him to be able to spend a little more time with them. He is going to make a lot better money than what he is now but family time to me is more important. Anyone else been in this kind of situation and what did you do to make sure that there was enough family time?
2007-03-15 14:42:41 · 13 answers · asked by Kristin R 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I used to pull 12-14 hour shifts, too (when my husband was out of work). It stinks and my husband hated it. But if your husband is the only one working, you might want to consider that some sacrifices are necessary. Most families need two incomes when they have kids just to make ends meet. Just know that it's not personal (he's doing it for you and the kids) . I can totally understand your frustration because I saw it with my sister when her husband was working 24 hour shifts at the firestation. It's not easy having one parent gone a lot of the time. Especially if you're stuck at home with the kids all day. Just make sure you plan quality family time activities, and at the same time give hubby some rest time, too. 13 hour shifts are extremely draining. Being a mom 24/7 is extremely draining, too. Also remember to not take your exhaustion out on eachother. Because you're both working hard. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to make it in this world, and that sometimes means sacrificing a bit of family time so the little ones can have new shoes when they need them and so you'll have food on the table. I don't think you're being self-centered, because I think we all want good pay, 8-9 hour shifts, and family time. But unfortunately that's not always the reality.
2007-03-15 15:05:41 · answer #1 · answered by swordarkeereon 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To me, 9am -10pm is a hell of a lot better than 6 months-1 year without seeing your husband. I am halfway through my husband's deployment and he has not seen our child since he was barely 3 months old. He calls and my son does the babble thing on the phone, and my husband is near to tears because he has missed out on all of our son's "firsts" and he does not know what he really looks like or how tall he has gotten. Count yourself lucky that you get to see your husband-to-be as often as you do. Make the weekends family time. Make the family spend time together then. He is only doing what he has to support you and these children. I don't mean to sound harsh, but staying home is not going to put a roof over your head.
2007-03-15 22:00:08 · answer #2 · answered by Meredith 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my husband works a job that is from 5pm to 5am and we have 4 kids. Its hard to have to deal with it but we sat down to come up with a plan as too how long is long enough sleep and on the weekend when he has his day off he makes sure that he spends one day with just the kids and we do something special together like the movies or a walk or dinner stuff like that. Its hard but he is doing it for his family
2007-03-15 23:33:20 · answer #3 · answered by NessaR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes you have to make the money while you can
true family time is important but, family time does not pay the bills....think about it.
You could be thankful that you have a honey who works hard or you could trade with some of these women who worry how the rent will be paid while their lovers sit home in front of a TV
2007-03-15 21:50:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have got to weigh the long and short times goals and objectives. Are these extra hours going to be forever? Even though he is working extra is he spending quality time with the family?
2007-03-15 21:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by ttpawpaw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you're being self centered but you need to know the difference between having to work and needing to work. If you guys really need the money or its just gonna put you in a better place than yuo are right now. I hate that my guy works all day too. I sometimes feel like a single parent that he hardly spends time with us - i used to work too but i quit so at least one of us is with the kids (3). Sometimes he comes home cranky and tired and it gets really hard and sometimes only wants to be with me and sometimes i have to remind him that the children need his attention too. He makes sure that his time with them is quality - we take the kids to the park and play with them and try to do fun stuff that they remember llike the beach etc. Just fun things theat really brighten their day.
2007-03-15 23:12:35 · answer #6 · answered by arlene j 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you could make time for each other...
if he doesnt work weekends you can make one of the days desiginated family day..
you can talk to him and let him know your feelings he might have thought of this already and might even have a solution...
i dont think its self centered.. your about to marry the man, you have his children its only natural to want to be around him, at least thats what i think
what good is making a buck or two more a day to miss out on precious moments with your family
2007-03-15 21:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by march2283 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ok- you have two kids and you are concerned that their dad is working hard for long hours to support you and the kids?
He is doing this to better your lives.
What are YOU doing to make HIS life easier since he is sacrificing so much time?
Yes, you are self-centered to demand that he spend more time with you and the kids.
Make the time he is home meaningful.
2007-03-15 23:16:06 · answer #8 · answered by CYP450 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My boyfriend worked all week and came home from Friday to Sunday every week. That is a pretty good time schedule to me. Be thankful that you guys have each other. There will be time.
2007-03-15 21:48:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is working and trying to do well for his family. Be grateful and happy.
2007-03-16 00:23:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋