Libel is the source of all God's teachings.
He inspired me to write it.
Anyway, it starts off with how God created everything. It started with the great campfire. God roasted marshmallows over the great campfire and as little bits of moten burning marshmallows dropped, they formed the stars. The planets were made from heavenly gobstoppers, and he populated them with Gummi Bears, which evolved into everything you see today.
Concerning his main teachings, God sent his favourite pet, Rover, to earth. Rover was God's only dog, and he was sent to be a guide dog. To guide God's sheeply flock in the right direction. Unfortunately all the other bad religions were dog wardens and put him to sleep because he didn't have a collar. Rover died for us.
Now you can't say any of this is wrong. God inspired me to write Libel, and it is the word of God. It's all fact. It's in the Libel. All you have to do is read Libel if you don't believe. Fact.
So will you repent and join us?
2007-03-15 14:11:15 · 14 answers · asked by Libelism is the Way 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I just wrote it, it obviously hasn't been around for 2000 years.
Does that mean that your feeble Bible wasn't true one hundred years after it was written it wasn't true because it wasn't old enough.
And yes. It has been confirmed by 30,000 sources... Don't believe me? Well it's in the Libel. Word of God, fact. It's in the Libel, so it's true.
2007-03-15 14:14:05 · update #1
It's the proper version of the Bible.
Anyway, when God, who's name, by the way, is actually Tim, sent forth the gummi bears to populate the planets, he kick started evolution by putting the Holy Mint into the Sacred Giant Bottle of Cola, and the ensuing release of gases kickstarted life.
It's in the Libel. It's a fact. you have to believe beacuse it is the word of God. F-A-C-T.
Regarding sins... Hypocricy is the greatest of all sins. Therefore you cannot be mean to someone and tell them that they are going down the Well of Eternal Pain when they die, and then say May Tim be with you.
Also, God/Tim doesn't like Eskimo's. They're all going down the well of Eternal Pain when they die.
Read the Libel, it's all there. You don't want to follow the Eskimos do you? Don't be christian. It's evil.
All of this is true. Word of God.Written down.
Do you believe?
2007-03-15 14:16:24 · update #2
No, I do not believe you.
I am happy where I am, sorry.
2007-03-15 14:18:56 · answer #1 · answered by Kerilyn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JESUS CHRIST!!!! Don't You realize this is all just a SATIRE!!! He is trying to prove a point here!!! The Bible is supposed to interpreted through semiotics (symbolism). He is demonstrating how irrational religious fundimentalism is. He himself does not believe in this religion either! THIS IS ALL SATIRE! He is saying how Christians always interpret the bible with such infaliability that they fail to rationalize. THE BIBLE IS ALL SEMIOTICS (SYMBOLISM). He is just making fun of the way you take it for fact! So calm down. Nobody is going to hell. Put down your crosses and your holy water! This is all just religious satire!
Source: REL 200 Fundimentalism in Abrahamic religions (Depaul University)
2007-03-17 12:52:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and enjoy all the sacrilege you can because the time is coming to an end and soon you will be bound along with your master. God is real and finding out in the end will be too late.
2007-03-15 21:19:03 · answer #3 · answered by froggsfriend 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I, like Tetsuo, will create my own universe and become it's God when I pass from this one.
The universe is a tree and we are the fruit upon it's branches. When we fall from those branches we become trees ourselves.
That is my destiny. Those who do not believe will not take root and wither in the sun of eternity."
Hey --- I just created my own religion!
2007-03-15 21:56:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont you first start ur libelism in the institute of mental illness. becos only people with mental illness will even give a minute to listen to your marshmellow stories.
2007-03-15 21:18:22 · answer #5 · answered by Eledron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you guys spend so much energy attacking other people's religions? If you don't believe, okay, but where does all this negative energy come from that makes you constantly rage against other people's beliefs?
2007-03-15 21:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by kscottmccormick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i get your point, but there is nothing to repent. Why so upset with people who believe in the Bible? Everyone has to believe in something, I believe I'll have another beer. Cheers.
2007-03-15 21:18:55 · answer #7 · answered by framer1962 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope
2007-03-15 21:14:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Another one? Who's country are you gonna attack, people killed, people persecuted before this religion thing is gonna end?
2007-03-15 21:15:00 · answer #9 · answered by Be objective 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it kinda sounds to me like you smoked a lil to much. nah i don't think i'd join cuz there's to many cults out there you don't want them to drink the kool-aid after they join do you???
2007-03-15 21:17:22 · answer #10 · answered by carrol d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋