How do I get my boyfriend to understand that he needs to change his priorities now that I am pregnant?

Question

My boyfriend of 9 months now and I have recently found out that I am about 2 months pregnant. He is a very responsible and mature man, however since we have found out that we are pregnant, he has began spending less and less time with me, he puts me off to go out drinking(which he has never done before), he doesn't talk much about our future, won't discuss the possibility of marriage. He is in the military and he will be leaving for duty any day now. I am terrified that not only did I make a mistake getting pregnant but also that he will not strive to make a family with me and the baby. Is it possible that he is just in shock or scared?? What can I do to open his eyes up?

Answer 1

There are two possibilities for his behavior.
1. He is scared. Some men freak when they find out that they will be fathers. They don't know how to react and are afraid to touch their wives in case they break.
2. He wants to dump you and is waiting until he leaves for duty to do it.
You have to tell him that if he doesn't sit and talk this through that you will be gone. If he loves you, he will sit down right away. If he does, tell him honestly and bluntly what you want and expect of him. MANY men have no idea of what a woman wants. Don't beat around the bush or be too emotional, some men can't deal with that. Just tell him.
If he doesn't sit down and talk, it's because he wants to leave you. Then you can get MAD and make him pay. First through his parents, and then call a lawyer. You can get him to help you with the baby even though you aren't married.

Answer 2

Unfortunatly there isn't anything you can do...he is who he is and 9 months isn't a long enough time to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone let alone start a family...How old are you???

Why have you given up on your life to raise a child??? Is that what you think you were put on this earth for and nothing else??? don't you have dreams and desires left unfulfilled still???
when you were a little girl was it your dream to get married and have a family and be betty home maker??? You still have time to make a smart choice and get out of this situation...This situation BTW is VERY common...especially in the military...

I hate to say it but you've become a statistic...

I sound harsh but it's because I'm really tired of the disfuction going on in well over half of all american homes...

The months prior to your issues I'm sorry to say will most likely be as good as it will ever be...

Answer 3

It is normal for them to pull away, there best friend is pregnant....you no longer can do stuff that you used to be able to do, drink, stay out late, ect. If your friends don't want to be friends with you b/c you have become pregnant thats there choice and there loss. I felt the same way I didn't want to do much being pregnant but I wanted a family and a different life from all my friends and they all chose to not be my friends or just not hang out anymore (They weren't my real friends if they acted like that) Plus all you need to ask your self is are you really happy? If you are then nothing should matter your b/f and your baby will be your new family and It is the best feeling in the world no one understand that until you have a child. Don't dwell on te things you can not change dwell on the things you can change and make it better :) To answer your question yes it happened to me I literally had no friends but my husband which I didn't care b/c my husband is my best friend.....after a year and a half my friends started coming around wishing there lives turned out like mine (maybe not like mine but they wished they were married to there b/f and having kids) So be greatful for what you have and live in the present not the past or the future! God blesses you with a child now embrass it :)

Answer 4

I Imagine it would be possible to shine a flashlight into one of your ears and read a book from the light on the other side! He is never going to accept this responsibility and as a taxpayer, I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR IT! You are quickly moving to ruin THREE lives. Get rid of HIM!!! Do something responsible with the pregnancy! Either abort or give the child up for adoption upon birth. Next time, don't put your cart ahead of the horse. Have you never heard the words "birth control", condom, bc pills, bc patch, or, more simply, for smaller minds, RUBBERS?!? Gad, what foolish children are being raised today!

Answer 5

well.. first of all, it wasnt a mistake for u to be pregnant, because the creature is not responsible for ur boyfriend's action, and u really love ur boyfriend, or so i assume, so there s no really mistake for u pregnanting. however i think that u should talk to him, and tell him how u feel, and find out why he s acting that way. and talk it out as a couple, whatever might be bothering him, ask him, and find out if u guys can solve it out. and if he keeps acting that was, break up with him, he s not worth being around with, he wont be a good father for ur child, and u and ur child deserve better than that. u wouldnt be the first single mother, and in the future u might find some1 that will respect u and ur child as well. now try to get support from ur family, both economical and moral, and their physical support. and work hard for ur child and urself regardless ur boyfriend. i hope things dont go that way, but that s a posibility that he might not be willing to change, so try to get him to open up to u, which i hope that happens, and try to work hard for u and ur child regardless of ur boyfriend's suppport. luck and hang tough there girl

Answer 6

It sounds like he is hoping duty will save him from his responsibilities If he isn't willing to step up send him packing, The military will probably make sure you get your child support with a few well placed phone calls. he could be in shock but tell him that this isn't going to go away or undo itself and he either needs to make plans for you and his baby or he needs to quit stringing you along. You don't need him if he doesn't want to be there, it will hurt more in the long run. good luck

Answer 7

This is a serious answer. Get Dr. Laura's book, the propper care and feeding of husbands.. She is fully against sex and babies out of wedlock, but the book has the best relationship advise in the world. My wife bought it 2 years ago and her reading it and applying it to her life has changed me. I read it last week finally and it makes sense. give it a shot and apply some of the things she says and learn from it. If he does not come around, I hope you can pick a better one next time.

Answer 8

He's having regrets and he doesn't like what the future looks like for him.

Maybe after the baby is born he'll feel better about this but I wouldn't count on it.

Any man can be a father...... but only a responsible man will be a good father

Answer 9

it seems like your boy friend he is not ready to do his responsible yet to be a father or your child. maybe his thinking what he should do to you. just give him time to think about it till he comes to you and talk about getting married. for now just take care yourself and your baby if his matured enough then you shouldn't remind him about his responsible, he knows that. good luck to you baby

Answer 10

Sit him on the couch. Tell him to look you straight in the eyes and then tell him, "Im pregnant, now give me what i need. Your the father. So start acting like one."