Why does my EX-boyfriend wanna be friends after ONE YEAR...?

Question

OK I'll try to make this short. I dated my ex for a short time then HE ended it. He's 26, I'm 21. He has lots of experience with dating, while he was my first kiss & first bf. Our relationship was so innocent, cuddling in his room, holding hands, kissing. We never had sex cuz he knew I wanna save sex for marriage. He would still say hi to me on msn even though HE ended it. It has been over for more than ONE YEAR. 2 months ago, he called me, after one yr. & wanted to make plans together so we could see a movie sometime. We set a date, he picked me up & after the movie he took me home. IOn the drive home, when I asked him why he wanted to see me, he said that he wants to "see me every once in awhile". I felt disrespected so when I got home I said "bye forever" to him on msn. Then I felt bad so a week later I said sorry to him on msn. Since then I have said hi to him 2 on msn. Then a few days ago he said hi to me on msn & he wanted to know what I had been up to.

Some people on yahoo say he still talks to me cuz he's hoping for sex one day, but he knows my beliefs and morals, can't he just miss me?Do you think he may wanna hang out again? But why does he wanna hangout after one year? Does he miss me or is he just playing with me?

Answer 1

I went through this with my first serious boyfriend from high school. We dated almost three years, same thing, no sex. Later on, he catches up with me just to hang out. (knowing the sex isn't going to happen) I was 20 at the time, he kept up with me until he found out I was married. (I got married at 28)

I think you are the girl he can't forget...the marrying kind. Sure, he wants to be out there and date and do his thing, but the girl who is worthy of marriage is always on his mind. Despite how stupid and petty men can be in relationships at time, they DO think of their future for the most part and they do think of marriage.

This doesn't mean you have to be there for him. Be friends with him if it benefits you in some way, not in a bad way of course. Meaning if you actually want to be friends with him still...

But overall, I don't think he is the one for you. Him keeping you on the back burner is not his way of being disrespectful to you, but it is the end result in the way you feel treated.

Obviously, you need to do what makes you feel right. If you still have feelings for him (and it sounds like you may still a little), only say hi to him once in a while but don't hang out with him. There are too many men out there who want to be with you NOW, and won't keep you as a fallback.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Are you blonde? Of course he would like to have sex with you but don't you think he is capable of "being just friends" too? How many 21 year old virgins and are planing on "saving it" for when they get married? I think the issue here is your mind set. Do you think anyone in this age is thinking of dating you in hopes of your hand in marriage before they see and test the entire package? Grow up and realize that now days before anyone takes a plunge like marriage that they are going to want to know if the package fits before biting the bullet for the rest of their life. I admire you for wanting to wait but you need to realize that you will be having these type of problems until you do find the "right one" any way and you might as well realize it. Good luck!.

Answer 3

Not all guys are a$$holes you know? It is also normal for guys to want to have some friends - even if they're girls. I wouldn't worry too much about it. If he didn't try to have sex with you while you were together, I'm pretty sure he won't now. Don't trust him 100% but I would be friends with him. Only if you want to though. Don't do it if you only feel bad for him cause that's kinda mean.

Answer 4

Did he ever tell you the reason he wanted to break up in the first place? Is it because there was no more attraction, is because he thought you were too young? Is it because he wanted to date someone with more experience?

Also, he's told you why he wants to hang out with you - he wants to be FRIENDS. Believe what he says and don't get your hopes up for anything else, cos then you're just setting yourself up for heartache.

I would say bye to him forever if I wanted more than a friendship with him, or else it's just pure heartbreak.

Answer 5

I have had the same thing happen. My bf stopped calling me for more than a year, then started to call. He told me that during our first relationship, he became very serious about me, and it frightened him, so he pulled away. He did become jealous when he found out that I was dating someone else. We worked things out, and had a great relationship for several years the second time around.

Answer 6

If he respected you all that time, and now wants to start something again, he might actually be getting serious. Couldn't say for sure, but he probably left for sex, and now is realizing your value. Its your choice from here. He sounds like a pretty nice guy, few guys have that much respect.
Good luck.

Answer 7

You're tripping. Why are you so bitter? You know, people can break up and just be friends.

Maybe he stills wants sex. He is a normal guy I assume. But he knows your rules. Just take the friendship if offered and don't power trip deeper than the friendship unless he makes it obvious.

Answer 8

I think he just wants to be on good terms with you. It's hard to be on good terms with ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, but I think he might genuinely like you as a person.

Then again, if he wants you for sex and is hoping for that, then HELL NO don't be his friend!

Answer 9

I thought you said you would keep it short.............hell yeah he still wants you. He is trying to get a little

Answer 10

maybe he just wants to be friend. welcome his friendship.