a poem i wrote while i was out fer a smoke..duh...tell me what yea think of it and if it need anything else changed.THANX
a PERFECT SUBSTANCE.. SO WHITE SO PLAIN SO NORMAL
LIKE EVERYTHING THING ELESE JSU PERFECT, ITS UP TO YOU TO DESTROY
YOU LOOK AT IT AND KNOW THAT I CAN KILL U,
BUT YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT IT CANT,
IT JUS HAPPNES TO THE OTHER PEOPLE,
I LIGHT, SLOWLY,AS THE THOUGHTS RUN THROUGH MY MIND,
HOW IIT CAN LOOK SO PERFECT AND YET HARM U IN SOM ANY WAY,
WITH THESE THOUGHTS RUNNING THROUG MY MIND I STILL LIGHT ,
WATCHING AS THE SUBSTANCE BECOMES TO SHRIVEL AND BURN,
AS I INHALE THE PERFECT OBJECT,
WRECKING WITH EVERYSUCK TAT I TAKE FROM THE YELLOW END,
WONDERING WHAT THE YOUNGER ME WOULD THINK OF ME,
I NEED TO STOP BUT I CAN,
I WANT IT MORE THAN EVER,
I KNOW I CAN STOP,
BUT WHY DONT I?
WHY ARE THESE THOUGHTS OF INE TELLING EME THAT I CAN STOP,
BUT DO I STOP?
I TAKE ANOTHER DEEP INHALE
LETTING THE SUBSTANCE ENTER MY BODY AN
2007-03-15 13:15:38 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Other - Health
Your intent is good
But your content is bad
Try another medium or have another smoke
2007-03-15 13:19:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'm in love, With a toothless hag. She smells of p*ss, And her old breasts sag. She feeds fifty feral cats,cos she's psychological. yet i does not replace her for the international, because of the fact she's sort,undemanding and so comfortable.
2016-10-02 04:49:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not great,but not bad.I wouldn't type in all caps though.It's a bit annoying to read.If you're just starting out,I'd call it decent.If you've been doing this a while...egh...yeah.Here's one of mine I just started...it's not finished yet,and I'm a beginner:
He left an angel in his mother's mailbox.
She looked at him,he didn't say a word.
Then he walked away with his head hung low.
Where did you go,why are you there?
Do you miss her?Your little sister?
2007-03-15 13:22:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
really, it's not all that bad, very truthful, but your spelling leaves alot to be desired. have a great day and a great future!
2007-03-15 13:59:12 · answer #4 · answered by snookieoo3 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, learn how to spell... second, give up on poetry
2007-03-15 13:19:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
im not trying to make you sad but it sucks realy sucks
2007-03-15 13:22:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow it's good. but i got a question for you. do you do it???
2007-03-15 13:21:12 · answer #7 · answered by muse vero 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
nope ok it sux!
2007-03-15 13:18:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋