Me and my boyfriend broke up in November and we got back together at the end of January. I told him if he talked to any other girls that I would leave him. Not so surprisingly he's still talking to other girls. I asked him if we could just be in a relationship where we were free to talk to other people. He said he doesn't want to be. Now he wants me to go through his phone and check his bills just so i can feel comfortable but i doubt i got time for that bull, we got 2 kids. My thing is he told just last week that he wanted me to be his wife and whatever we do he wants us to do it together. I believe he loves me, he says he's in love with me. But him talking to other girls has turned me into this insecure little girl i don't like being. I almost feel like i should just stay with him and use him then cheat on him like he did me. Is that wrong
2007-03-15 13:10:32 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
dont punish yourself.talking just talking no crime anything else well that breaks the rules-he seems to be a little flimflamsey with his commitment and maybe you nedd to decied if this is what is best for both you and the children involved
2007-03-15 13:15:55 · answer #1 · answered by resigned 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Others may say this too... If he is hanging with other girls, he is not dedicated. You have kids together? Well...that's out of your control now. He needs to be involved with them, but that does not mean you also. He does not respect the mother of his children and never will from what you have told us. There is nothing you Can do about a rambler and a rake. He will always wonder about the greener grass. Don't submit to that. you deserve more and there are men out there who will accept you and your children. Even if he swears up and down he is not doing it anymore...he did it before. Eventually he'll get bored and do it again.
Cheat on him? No. Don't stoop to his level. It won't make you feel any better and no telling what might happen. Just get out and get stable, then find someone you can truly trust. Just because he helped you have the kids doesn't mean he'll be the only one who cares.
Good luck
2007-03-15 13:23:21 · answer #2 · answered by Alchemist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you sound like a big girl, and you know full well 2 wrongs don't make it right. Perhaps you should consider counseling, if he's willing and may be it will clear up some of the issues you are having. You owe it to yourself and your two kids to work on your relationship. Maybe marriage is big step at this point, but if you try to work though this infidelity and your subsequent insecurity, I'm sure you could consider marriage, but it will take some serious work and maturity on his end. His heart may be in the right place, but his actions and ability to handle situations maybe a bit skewed, but a third party may help him notice and address such issues. Good luck!
2007-03-15 13:17:14 · answer #3 · answered by DJA30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talking with other girls and cheating are very different things..which is it?
If you're that insecure in the relationship, that he can't even talk to other women, you should get counseling. If he actually cheated, well - he's given you good reason to be suspicious, but that isn't any kind of healthy relationship. If you want to stay together you both need counseling.
2007-03-15 13:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by J F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look don't go do things you shouldn't do ,because it's not for you to do. if you end up get used to cheat on him you will cheat on all your boyfriend. everytime you think they 're doing something wrong to you. listen if that's how he wants to do it. i love you, and still want to hurt your feelings then don't go married him. give it a few years but don't tell him why you doing it neither. if you see he won't stop talking to other girls, well now you can move on, because he's not for you. if you go tell him why you need some times he's gonna change for a while and as soon you married him he's going right back again. if he did love you as a man suppose to love a woman he would be talking to other girls like that to hurt your feelings like that ok believe me.
2007-03-15 13:30:56 · answer #5 · answered by marcel m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, dont use him to cheat on him or "get him back" Karma is a mutha, and what goes around comes around. I'm not going to feed you the bs 2 wrongs dont make a right,,, but.... sometimes, he has to see what a good thing he had,, give him his space, let him realize, (trust he will), let him realize he had a good thing when your gone,,, then maybe that would wake him up,, nov to jan is a big seperation, but maybe you need to be firm, no joking laughing talking or kisssing,, let him feel the burn, let him feel your serious, space yourself from him,, men are silly, they never know a good thing till its gone,,, you go gal,, and good luck.
2007-03-15 13:18:42 · answer #6 · answered by mngnyc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No hunny. It's not wrong... I know exactly how you feel... I find secret e-mail accounts and phone numbers... Here's what you should do... Tell him that if you find anything suspicious that you're done with him... make a fake profile and start talking to him... make up a fake location and everything... then offer to meet him somewhere for a "fun" time... He'll NEVER EVER suspect its you... if he shows... you know its not worth your time...
2007-03-15 13:17:00 · answer #7 · answered by Laurelin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you make-it seem like your jealous, if theres one thing I've learned about guy is that they don't normally do exactly what the other person wants, so if in your heart you truly love him and he loves you, then his relationship is worth saving.
2007-03-15 13:16:17 · answer #8 · answered by flower_keeper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two wrongs dont make a right.So if you dont trust him then you should leave him.Easier said than done I know,but it will lift a big burden off your shoulders once you've been freed of him
2007-03-15 13:14:28 · answer #9 · answered by DiamondXxx 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait...you aren't allowed to have conversations with other men? And you're mad at him beause he has simple conversations with other women?
Something's fishy here...
2007-03-15 13:18:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anne-Arky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋