how do i help my self harming best mate ???

Question

its really hard to help my best mate if everytime a boy dumps her she is goin to feel like **** yeah but i have tried everything i feel like giving up but i cant i knw how she feels beacuse ive been through it myself,i know she needs me , but its making me feel bad beacuse everytime i try makin her happy some thing or some 1 ***** it up for me and i have to keep trying to help her out what am i meant to do i have some of my own problems but it feels like ive got hers too !!

Answer 1

Tell her to see a doctor. While your friendship and support is important to her - she needs professional help. You can't be expected to cope with everything yourself. Self harming is a serious symptom of an underlying problem.....That problem needs treatment. There's a great website

http://www.nshn

It's the National Self Harm Network and will provide help in her day to day life, and in times of crisis. It also has a support forum for friends and relatives affected by self harm and could help you too. However - she does need professional help aswell. Self harm is much more common than people think, so she will not be treated like a freak or anyhting like that by her doctor. Tell her you are willing to help her and be there for her as long as she goes to a doctor and gets help for herself too.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Hi there, I have a friend who self Harms and in some senses I have done it too, it's a hard situation to be in, but in some ways it's great that you know what it feels like, so that you can understand better without judgement, however it also means you are more vulnerable when stresses and pressure is put on you.
It's a very hard situation to be in because if you try to force your friend to get help, it may just scare her and push her away..she must have a pretty low self esteem to get so often, but she does need help. Is there an adult you can trust to ask advice from? If you don't feel you can do that, perhaps saying to your friend that you don't want to and won't force her into doing anything she doesn't want to but that your worried about her and have tried to help but don't know what else to do anymore...try not to make it soundlike you have given up, state that you will stand by her but that you would like her to get help from someone to stop her feeling so bad about things...even often to accompany her....but that at the end of the day it's her choice....but your stressed too. It's a very hard situation to be in, be her friend, don't judge (with i'm sure you don't) If she doesn't go to see someone after you have told her the above them just try to think to yourself..." i am her friend, i can't do much more so i can't worry about her all the time" and take the pressure of yourself.

best of luck, i hope she does the right thing!

Answer 3

Hi, it does sound like you have a really tough job trying to look after your friend especially as you have your own problems. At the end of the day you have to remember that you're not responsible for her. I know its hard because you really want to help but perhaps the best way to help her would be to advise her to seek help from a professional. I self harm myself and despite all my friends trying to help me over the years, I've only managed to stop since I've been in therapy.

Be there for her, support her, but when it comes to trying to fix her problems, its something that only a professional can do.

I hope this helps.

Answer 4

She needs professional help. Please don't abandon her completely, as she also needs to know that she has people who care around her. You cannot really help her. That's the unfortunate thing about self-harm, no-one can make her stop until she feels ready. It would be dangerous to do so. You can NEVER know how someone else is feeling, you can empathise with their situation but you cannot get inside their heads. Don't try to be her therapist, just be her friend.

Useful contacts/info sources:

www.selfharm.org.uk - geared towards young people

www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/mental_health/emotion_selfharm.shtml

mind.org.uk/Information/.../Understanding/Understanding+self-harm.htm

The Samaritans: Provide confidential support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can phone: [phone] or email: [e-mail]

Good luck x

Answer 5

I wouldn't get so mixed up in other people's problems - no matter how good a friend they are.

I had a friend who was manic depressive and thought I could help them, but you only end up being taken for a ride and not caring enough about yourself.

Why is she getting do upset about being dumped all the time? It is obviously something to do with her, not you, yet she is trying to make you feel guilty so that you sort out her problems for her.

It's good that you care about your friend, but you can only do so much. She can only save herself.

Answer 6

By being her friend, and not judging her.
Don't pressure her to get help, encourage her, there is a difference. The more stress she is put under the more she will self harm.

Just be there for her.

Answer 7

certain. it truly is a tough situation because you do not opt to easily abandon her in this time (in spite of if it really is for interest). it should be tremendous in case you should locate someone who suffers from a real habit like reducing and introduce her. it ought to placed her in her position. in simple terms make her comprehend that hurting herself for interest isn't healthful and could no longer win her any sympathy because there are individuals more advantageous deserving of it.

Answer 8

You should make sure she goes to see her doctor. Is she a teenager? If yes, it could be a strong sign that she suffers from depression and needs help to sort things out.

Her doctor will be able to help.

Answer 9

You do have to think of your self also, as you will be no good to your freiend otherwise, Just be there for her if she needs you she will say as long your your always there your doing your best honest I know

Answer 10

you're her friend not councillor, get her some professional help.