Men PLEASE I need advice?

Question

You like a female friend. You introduce her to your good male mate, you then discover that your male mate likes your female mate. Do you carry on going for your female mate? or do you back off & let your mate have a chance? You don't know how she feels

I am in fact the female mate. I want to know whether my male friend mite'v backed up due to his friend's fairly obvious attraction. I like my male mate, but only think of his m8 as exactly that a freind of a friend.

My friend is a tru gent.
He & his friend have been mates since they were 16

Answer 1

He's definately backing off. Have you ever heard of the rather crude term, "Bro's before ho's!"? A gentelman would pass up a chance with a girl so that his friend can be happy rather than "fight" over her. There's fighting for a woman's honor, and then there's fighting for alpha male status. Looks like the second friend is more of the "macho-alpha-wanna be" kind and the first is more of a gentelman. The gentleman needs to be rewarded for his behavior. That does not mean that you do anything for him, you just don't reward the other guy. Don't do things to that could show any interest in the other guy. This will just hurt your friend....who is worth keeping.

Answer 2

Phew - that took some deciphering!

OK, I think your theory could be right. It's quite possible that the guy you fancy is holding back to let his mate take a try at you. His mate may quite possibly be unaware that he fancies you too - guys often don't talk about such things unless it's a done deal, because it'll make them look bad if they get blown off.

So, your part in this is to make it plain that you *don't* fancy the new guy. You could give him the 'just want to be friends' speech, but even better would be to tell the guy you fancy first. Then he'll really know the coast is clear.

This might also be a good opportunity to give Mr. Right a hint about who you really do fancy.

Alternatively you could delicately tell Mr. Wrong that you already fancy Mr. Right. It'll get back to him, believe me.

Good luck - but you probably don't need it: you hold all the cards.

CD

Answer 3

Listen, your friends mate wont get anywhere with you unless you let him, and if you like your friend but feel he's backed off to give his mate a chance then he obviously thinks you like his mate.

Tell him you like him and not his mate otherwise he may move on, then where would you be.

Answer 4

Wow...that was a twister...But I think I've got the drift.....

I would like to share with you a similar situation I experienced 5 years ago......Which may help you with the answer to your question.

There was a Hot Chic at my Uni named Caroline who I became close friends with. We studied together and partyed together and had heaps of fun.

We had a social club function at a nightclub where I introduced Caroline to my best mate (Rob). I hadn't discussed my desire for Caroline with Rob........Rob said that he thought Caroline was hot and said he wanted her.

As we were best mates this was going to be a problem. As I was probably more of a gentlemen then Rob, (Robs more of the in your face Salesmen type)..... My first thought was to hold back and let him go for her as he was pushy.......at that stage I was feeling pain, possibly jealous and unsure of the situation as I didn't know whether Caroline felt the same way I did for her.

So what I did was confront Rob and discussed my feelings for Caroline as Rob didn't know that I was chasing her. Rob as my good mate.... Much to my surpise said he respected the situation and he would leave Caroline alone. Caroline was totally unaware of this discussion.

Caroline actually came on to me and said she had the hots for me......much to my delight. So we dated, It was always awkward when Rob was around because I knew that he really wanted Caroline.

Caroline made reference to feeling uncomfortable around Rob....... she said he was full of himself and suggested that I didn't invite her to functions when Rob was around. This was also awkward because Rob was my best mate and I wasn't about to throw away a lifetime of friendship with my best mate for somebody I've only know 5 minutes. Sure Caroline was Hot and sexy and I couldn't get enough of her, but long term mates were also important.........So I jugged the social calender for a while and got anoyed with having to not go to an event if Rob was there. Caroline became possive and controlling and gave me an altermatum.......So we split up.

I guess this is just one scenario of many....

It depends on your committment to your mate and whether you can manage the situation with your everyday engagements.

"There must always be a winner and a loser".... Depends on which one applies and what effect it may have.

Hope my story helps you make your decision......

Good Luck

Have a great day

Answer 5

4 me friendship it's all, well almost all, i would prefer 2 give my friend a chance, that figthing, even if i love so much this girl that i can't hide it, that i love her so much that i would do anything 4 her

Answer 6

My woman is my woman. I don't let friends have at her just because they like her. So long as she chooses me, nothing will stand in the way.

Answer 7

Be honest to everyone involved and don't jeopardise the friendship

Answer 8

CARRY ON WHAT YOUR DOING B4 YOUR FRIEND GETS THEIR FIRST IF U LIKE HIM GO FOR IT

Answer 9

Que sera !

Answer 10

you like to break hearts , don't you ? If I was the first guy , and found out that my friend was seeing my girl then I would ask him wtf. he was doing. And then beat his a.ss