2007-03-15 12:35:56 · 11 answers · asked by mayris 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
How many jugglers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Only one, but it takes at least three lightbulbs.
How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- Two. One to screw it in and one to screw it up.
How many football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- An entire team, and they all get a semesters credit for it.
How many doctors does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- It depends on whether it has medical insurance.
How many fatalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- It doesn't matter, We're all going to die anyway.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write about how it felt.
- Four. One to change the bulb, and three to write about how the bulb is exploiting the socket.
- Three. One to change the bulb, and two to secretly wish they were the socket.
How many investment brokers does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- "My god, it burnt out ! Sell all my general electric stock, NOW !!!"
How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- None. It turned itself in.
How many automechanics does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- Five. One to force it with a hammer, and four to go out for more lightbulbs.
How many bankers does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
How many christian scientist does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- None. But it takes at least three to sit and pray for the old one to come back on.
How many windows programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- 391. One to write "WinGetLightBulbHandle",
one to write "WinGetLightBulbStatus",
one to write "WinGetLight.......
How many Technical Support folks does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- We have an exact copy of the bulb here, and it appears to work fine. Can You tell me what kind of system You have ? Okay, exactly how dark is it ? Okay, there could be four or five things wrong.... Have You tried the light switch ???
How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Eight. One to change the bulb, and seven more to make sure Microsoft gets $2 every time a lightbulb is changed anywhere in the world.
How many Beta-testers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- We noticed the darkness; We didn't actually fix the problem.
How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness (TM) to be the new industry standard.
How many C++ programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed lightbulb object would inherit a change method from a generic lightbulb class, so all You'd have to do, is to send a lightbulb change message.
How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- The bulb works fine on the system in my office.
How many Ukrainians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- None. They glow in the dark.
How many Iranians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- One hundred. One to change the bulb, and ninety-nine to hold the rest of the house hostage.
How many Israelis does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- fourty to storm the room and take control of it, one to forcibly eject the old bulb, and another to screw the new one in.
How many dead politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- As many as possible.
How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- None. He'll only promise change.
How many Russian leaders does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as lightbulbs.
How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- None. The seeds of revolution and change are within the lightbulb itself.
How many Maoists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- One to change the bulb, and on thousand to chant, "Fight Darkness. Fight..."
How many Apple Employees does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Seven. one to change the bulb, and six to design the T-shirt.
How many computer engineers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Why bother. The socket will be obsolete in six months anyway.
How many librarians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- I don't know, but I could look it up for You.
How many Psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Just one. But the bulb has to really WANT to change.
How many magicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Depends on what You want it to change to.
How many fishermen does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Five. And You should have seen the bulb, it must have been THIS big.
How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- That's all right, I'll just sit in the darkness.
How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Three, but they're really one.
How many irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Eleven. One to hold the bulb, and ten to turn the house.
2007-03-15 13:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by Lala 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many Computer Programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? NONE! They consider that to be a hardware problem....
How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes 8... 7 to produce an Environmental Impact Report and 1 to screw in the lightbulb.
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to hold the bulb - The rest of the world revolves around her...
2007-03-15 20:05:15 · answer #2 · answered by Gordon B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many Irishman does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb, and the other to drink until the room spins!
How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Seven. One to screw in the bulb, and six to "share the experience"!
How many J.A.P.s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to open a can of Tab, and the other to call her father...!
2007-03-15 19:45:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how many dirty stinking apes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
3, 1 to screw in the lightbulb and 2 to throw feces at each other.
2007-03-15 19:40:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the penis, I mean ladder.
2007-03-15 19:39:29 · answer #5 · answered by ☭ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How many car salesmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but just for today I'll let you have it for one.
2007-03-15 19:41:44 · answer #6 · answered by BeckV 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How may shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but the lightbulb really has to want to change.
2007-03-15 19:39:47 · answer #7 · answered by April J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how many irish men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? non... they'll just drink in the dark
2007-03-15 19:44:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
how many mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb?
Juan :p (get it? as in one)
2007-03-15 21:04:21 · answer #9 · answered by meju 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-Lets go ride bikes!
2007-03-15 20:38:01 · answer #10 · answered by Daddy's girl 3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋