my MIL is a control freak. we r workin to build a home but its taking long. my own family is fine but my brother is taking time to settle down in a career, my parents r always upset bout it. that upsets me too...my MIL just adds to it bytrying to control me and nag me. my husband stands up for me but is away alot cos hes working hard to build this house. im trying to be patient but now im running out of it. shes a hypocrite and puts me on the spot. shes moody too so is nice out of the blue. im confused.
2007-03-15 12:32:49 · 14 answers · asked by limitedpatience 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just stop paying attention.
2007-03-15 12:35:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are stuck living with MIL for now, there is no easy answer. Family can either be a most constructive or destructive force to relationships. If there is a way to put a little distance between you and MIL your life would be more you and your loves. One up for your husbands support, but he is not the problem. Maybe you could try to talk too MIL, while he is out somewhere. Your folks can't change it. Maybe you could stay with them, until your house is built. Also maybe you have misunderstood her and it is simple as saying How can We get along better MIL? For the sake of all those that we LOVE. It hurts them too.
2007-03-15 12:51:31 · answer #2 · answered by Arial 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mother in law is a non issue.
You dont have to deal with her unless you choose to do so.
When she calls and you see it is her, why do you even answer the phone.
Call her back when you know that she is not home and tell her that all is well on a message.
DO not go visit her without your husband
that problem is solved.
If your brother and mom and dad have issues you cant be in the middle of it if you dont want to be.
You never said how old your brother is but it sounds like he is an adult so the next time your parents start ripping on him tell them that they need to say these things to him.
2007-03-15 12:39:00 · answer #3 · answered by kissmymiddlefinger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, with control freaks, they won't let you control them so the only way to avoid the family issues and controlling relatives is to lay down some firm rules about treatment. If you continue to let her treat you like this she'll do it for the rest of your life. This can cause tension between your husband and yourself. If my family gives my wife crap, or even own family I jump in and put them in their proper place or we just get away from them. Tell your mother-in-law that you're tired of her trying to be the despot of your home and to get out. If you're living in her home then there is not much you can do except move out. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and if you temporarily push her out of your lives and let her know you're not going to put up with her crap anymore she will quickly learn to behave.
Good luck, I know your pain.
2007-03-15 12:37:33 · answer #4 · answered by jprofitt303 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean, my boyfriends mom is sooooo bad!! shes always putting me down and everything to everyone, she never comes over to see us weve lived here for like a year and shes only been here like once. well now she says i keep the baby from her.... no she just wont come see her, i dont want her in the enviroment that she lives in anyway. you would know what i mean if you knew her. the best way i can think of is just to ignore her. i try to get my boyfriend to stick up for me but he doesnt want in the middle. if i were you i would just tell her how you feel...
2007-03-15 12:38:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
set some ground rules. you are being treated like a child because you haven't asserted yourself. there are boundary problems within your family.
once you set the rules, stick to them. it may mean throwing MIL out of the house a few times. she'll come around eventually. be sure that you are upfront and honest with her so that she knows exaclty where she stands.
2007-03-15 12:36:28 · answer #6 · answered by KitKat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is going through menopause. Just refuse to engage in an arguement, It is really hard to advise you how to deal with someone without seeing her specific behavior and what motivates her. If you are at her home, tell her you don't want to argue and if she continues, leave. If she starts it at yours tell her that you aren't not going to have that in your home and ask her to please stop or you are going to have to ask her to leave. Try to be as polite as possible but make it clear thatwhile you respect her experience and wisdom, you would prefer to make your own decisions about your own family.
2007-03-16 12:58:54 · answer #7 · answered by zookeeper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a good way to spend you time. Take time out and do something you love without thinking about all the problems in your life. Make that quality time that you give yourself be all about YOU!
2007-03-15 12:39:22 · answer #8 · answered by Jene C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away from the house or where ever the problem is. Listen to music, whatever your in the mood to listen too.
Do something to relax.
2007-03-15 12:38:53 · answer #9 · answered by mr.fahrenheit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out
2007-03-15 12:35:19 · answer #10 · answered by pixel shREdder 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't think about the issues too much. Just focus on you, your husband and your children.
2007-03-15 12:39:39 · answer #11 · answered by isaac_leibnitz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋