It's very uncomfortable for me to be around girls who seem confident and very self possessed. When I'm uncomfortable I become very shy, almost antisocial, preferring rather to leave their company and go someplace quiet or where there's only a bunch of guys. It's like their demonstrations of confidence might also mean that they're not likely to accept me. My friends generally regard me as a quiet person, who isn't very outgoing. What can I do? What might be making me think this way?
2007-03-15 11:49:04 · 22 answers · asked by flytoohighz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe afraid of rejection and if they are bold you may feel that they will say things in a more aggressive way rather than gentle way and you have a insecurity issue with some part of you.
Sounds like you are a nice guy, you should have more confidence in yourself and look at it like "Hey, I didn't have her before so what is it going to hurt if I don't have her later?" Make an approach as I did and it will help your confidence. Really, from personal experience. I used to be really intimidated by confident people but I also realized that they are truly no better than I so if you can't beat em' join em'.
2007-03-15 11:53:59 · answer #1 · answered by Tell It Like It Is! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listennnn..... to ya boy. What you lack yourself is confidence. And you see that you lack it around girls and confident girls is your krptonite. So what you have to do is gain confidence. To do this do an activity that makes you feel like you are the best at it or the top dog. Such as a sport, why do you think most althetes are so cocky? Just tell yourself everyday your the best and any girl would be more than lucky to have a few words with you. But the great thing about confidence is when you can just put out a vibe of confidence and not so much say it. Once you get there you will find talking with these girl won't be so overwhelming for you.
2007-03-15 11:59:01 · answer #2 · answered by DuvalKing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True confidence is when you are no longer thinkin about yourself. It is when you focus on others and your mind is preoccupied with noticing the things around you.
If you feel uncomfortable being around them, it is probably because you are being self-concience of them. You are probably coming up with thoughts that are discouraging.
Tip: Try this. Focus on something to talk about and listen to them undivided and attentively. And quiet your mind. You will gain real confidence if you practice this often.
I am a shy person, but I had to get over it by finding a time to focus on others, and a time to enjoy the depths of my own ming. Trust me, the mind is it's own worst critic.
P.S. You can't come out the house if your constantly checking the news for the weather. Just go outside. (Metaphore)
2007-03-15 11:59:48 · answer #3 · answered by larua_2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to boost your self-confidence. If that seems impossible, try looking for someone who is like you. There are probably at least 5 other quiet, shy girls for you!
2007-03-15 11:52:03 · answer #4 · answered by vagabond. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is not with them.....it is with you. Quit knocking yourself down. By confident and self possessed I assume you mean they are hot? You are so worried about them thinking less of you that you withdraw. Just be yourself and make small talk. Withdrawing only makes them look at you as weird which is the exact opposite of what you want. Quit worrying and just be yourself. People aren't always judging you. And if they are.......f' em.
2007-03-15 12:00:41 · answer #5 · answered by allindotcom@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are shy and have low self-esteem. You are young and the new computer age does that do people. Try a debate club or speech class.
Don't be afraid to talk to anyone. You are more worried about worst case scenario's that probably will not happen.
2007-03-15 11:53:23 · answer #6 · answered by Sparky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called low self esteem. If you are uncomfortable around them then stay away from them. Or try to get some self esteem and maybe you'l start to intimidate them.
2007-03-15 11:53:43 · answer #7 · answered by Jani S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls with confidence are everywhere. You will need to get used to them or not go out. You could get some life couching to try and over come it.
2007-03-15 11:51:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have insecurities. You'll have to overcome it and get some backbone. A woman with confidence is more fun than one without, trust me on that.
2007-03-15 11:56:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to my world. I'm also known as a quiet person as well. It's just from genetics like, maybe one of your mother or father was shy as a kid, or quiet if you prefer...maybe even distant relatives. People are people, and we who we are. Get a really talkative friend & she/he will get you out of your shell that's what my friend did to me last year. But you won't get completely out of your shell, it'll take years.
2007-03-15 11:54:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋