I am 22 and feel like my purpose for being here is to look after my family, and I will never find a nice guy who will accept the whole package. My brother is 26 but had a brain tumor as a baby, he is lovely but like a child who will never grow up. My mum has schizophrenia, and I worry about her in the future. My father has cancer as does my Gran, I am very close to them all. I still live at home, but I am a very free spirited, confident, popular fun loving girl. I have no problems finding guys who like me, but i won't get involved with anyone as I feel like they will never take on all my problems with me. Would love advice please!
2007-03-15 11:41:13 · 17 answers · asked by Girlsgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow, you really are one in a million. I'm sure that any guy who is lucky enough to be with someone as loving as you would understand your situation completely and support you. Peace and Good luck for the future.
2007-03-15 11:45:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
" I will never find a nice guy who will accept the whole package"
"i won't get involved with anyone as I feel like they will never take on all my problems with me."
The reason you can't find a nice guy who will accept the whole package is because of what you said at the end of your details. If you won't get involved with them because you THINK they won't help, you will never find that man will you? Be open and explain how you feel about this to the person you are dating at the beginning of the relationship.
If you can't find anyone right now, keep looking. I'm sure you will find a man one day. Perhaps you could join a support group or something, and meet other people who have schizophrenic family members, and you might meet a guy there who can relate to what your going through.
2007-03-15 11:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by Joseph 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are a good person, you have many charming qualities, you've obviously had to put up with a lot over the years. The purpose for being is to have a good time doing what you love, you obviously love to serve, at a guess you have had this maternal instinct all your life. Have you considdered day centre care then you could get a day off and they would meet others like themselves, I work at a day centre where there are people of all ages who have difficulties of some discription, they are helped to cope with their own individual difficulties and eventually learn to overcome them. All the best, you've got a good heart with confidence that shines through in how you realise that you give 100% daily.
2007-03-18 10:03:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What problems! What about your life! You were not given life so that yu could become a slave to others difficulties, I know you feel love for your family but they can get the help they need from society, I am sure they would benefit from seeing you do well for yourself and be happy in finding someone don't hold back you will be sorry in years to come when you look back and see what you could have been.
The world is yours take it with both hands.
Good Luck
2007-03-15 12:02:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
we all have our problems in life. some are worse than others. and with out any disrespect to your situation, personally i'm 33years old, single and mentally and physically screwed up following several operations on my back. and i'm physically ugly too. so i got no chance of finding love.
YOU however have every possibility, the guys that like you and ask you out have you told them about your family and what you want from them (support etc).
if not then more fool you, you have, at the very least got to make it known to any potential dates your family problems and your needs in respect of those problems. (as detailed in your question).
if you have told the guys and they have dumped you as a result shame on them. if they get old and need care i hope they never get the help they want and they die horribly alone and in pain. (sorry to say that but it makes me sick to my stomache that people are so self obsessed regards other peoples families etc).
i'm positive you will find the right guy one day, but in the mean time you have to make it clear. as in your question.
how about posting the question slightly edited as your profile description on an internet dating site. a lot of sites offer you the chance to create a free profile and only pay if you get responses from people wanting to get to know you.
Remember life is long and you are only 22 now so there is plenty of time for you to find the right guy. you sound like a great girl. who is making the most of her life despite your family problems.
personally i've not seen my nan for years then she was moved to a local nursing home from one a hundred + miles away, that was almost a month ago, and In that time i have seen her only once so far. mainly due to the fact at the moment i have a cold that i do not want to pass on to my nan and the other residents of that home. though in the next day or two i have to go see her though she has been asking to see me so i will go put in an appearance for a minute but try not to get near her so as not to pass on the cold.
so you see we all have family problems. and you rightly so seem to know that family comes first. so as i said you will find the right guy soon enough.
good luck, I hope you find the right person soon.
if you want to talk further my mail box is always open. i can be reached via my answers profile or by emailing me at my home server.
y!answers@ garylsmith1973.homeip.net (without the space).
2007-03-15 12:09:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Someone as nice as you will find someone. When you meet the right person he will take on your family because they are a big part of the person he loves. You need to start to trust your judgement and the guys you meet.
Best wishes to both you and your family.
2007-03-15 11:48:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bless your Heart, Dear One. Yes! Someone will come to sweep you off your Feet. Just don't ask me who. But you can know? If you take the time to listen to your Heart. That's where Love is suppose to be kept? And that's where it can be the happiest. Listen to the tickin'! Once it tells you that he's there? Be sure that his Heart, talks to yours. It's match. Your Heart won't lie. Trust me! God Bless you. Little Lady.
2007-03-15 11:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are very nice to take care of your family.. you do have to realize that you have alot of "baggage" ... you have to ask yourself if you would like to start a famiy of your own sometime... if so... it will be hard and guys see that too... you're still young so you have plenty of time later to meet someone who's willing to share that responsibility....emotionally and financially... they are out there, just hard to find so be patient...
2007-03-15 11:47:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will find a guy that accepts your family and is willing to help out also. This special guy will come along soon enough. when you do find someone you will feel a connnection with, don't be scared that you'll scare them away with your family......
2007-03-15 11:46:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you can find one but don't be surprised if it takes some time. You are asking him to take on a lot and if you put it to him like that on the first date you will be searching a long, long time!
2007-03-15 12:16:59 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋