my son was just diagnosed with Autism?

Question

He's 3.... This is just breaking my heart because it's one of those mysterious disorders that there is no official cause of. I had him when I was 29 so it's not like I was a candidate for complications. We have a 7 year old son who we are worried about because of the attention issue. My 3 year old has delayed speech, limited social skills, throws tantrums, and kicks/hits. Please help I'm just in such shock

Answer 1

I felt like I could have written this myself! I've been there, done that, however. First of all, you need a great support group. Here is an awesome online group:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-pspddnos&nav=start&

Second of all...you are lucky. It may not feel like it, but you are. My child wasn't dx'd until she was 5 years old. She is one of the 1 in 3 ASD kids who have epilepsy as well. Also, you said he has delayed speech, but it sounds like he has speech. Again, this is fortunate. He will be able to build upon that.

Educating yourself on his needs will be your biggest ally. When you understand the tools to help him understand how to communicate with the rest of the world, he will be successful. He will need more time to grow, there is no doubt.

Some basic sign language helped my daughter understand me better. They can't always relate to spoken language, but they are often very visual thinkers. Social stories are great. She needed ones with pictures, but now she is 9, she can relate to written stories as well.

If you believe your 7 yr old has ADHD type attention issues, take him in to be evaluated. ADHD is not so far off the ASD spectrum so it's not improbable to have one with ASD and one with ADHD. My oldest is ADHD and my youngest is ASD w/epilepsy.

It's not an easy road and very difficult when they are younger. It's gotten a lot easier as my girls got older.

You can get help with your school district with early intervention if you haven't already. Try to get as many services as possible.

You have a huge learning curve ahead of you and it will feel like a marathon many days, but you will become very strong.

Answer 2

I totally understand how you are feeling. My son is now 4 and was diagnosed with PDD NOS at age 2 1/2. Its scary, heartbreaking, but honestly if you can get him in a good preschool with proper therapy he will do amazing. My son was nonverbal until age 2 1/2 and now talks amazing you would never know there was ever a delay. He still has limited attention span, and some other "quirks" as we call them, but he gets better every day, and your son will too.

Now that you have a diagnosis, start researching for schools and speech, occupational and physical therapists for him. Early intervention is key. And thats great you have an older son who can be a great social model for him.

I wish you the best of luck, and try not to despair, honestly there are some great therapists out there that can do wonders. And he's diagnosed young, which is great, because the earlier you start the better he'll do.

Answer 3

I am proud of you that you are reaching out to others who may share the same concerns... it shows that you are on your way to acceptance, which is hard. This is a difficult pill to swallow- but with your acceptance you can build on helping your child! I work with children with developmental disabilities, including autism, and I can't tell you how many parents I see that just aren't able to help their own child because they haven't been able to move into accepting their child's disability. By reaching out, you are offering your son a great gift, so I commend you!
On the subject of autism... treat your son as if he was "typically developing". Yes, there will be several accommodations that you will have to make in the course of raising your son, but overall, you should try as much as possible to hold him accountable for his actions, have consequences and otherwise treat him "normally". Use the techniques and services that your school district offers, Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, etc., and research your own. Join a parent support group to learn more about the disorder and support your parenting needs.
When you say you are worried about your 7 year old- attention issue, are you saying that you are worried that he will get lost in the midst of focusing on your younger child? That can happen, so you have to make sure to make time individually with your older child. You can easily get lost in the doctor's appointments, IEP meetings, evaluations, parent meetings and daily life. You have to make it a cognitive choice to save time for your other child, so he doesn't feel that he has to act up (do things like his little brother) to get more attention. He's at an age where he is very observant and can be very affected by his feelings of inferiority.
Overall, learn what you can about autism. The more information you arm yourself with, the less mysterious and overwhelming the disorder will seem. You are part of an elite (yet ever-growing) group of parents, who were chosen to have these children. While sometimes being a "chosen one" can seem a burden, I guarantee you will find more inspiration and purpose from having this incredible child in your life. Every child I have taught with autism has had an incredible influence in my life, and leaves forever a lasting impression of being graced to be in their presence. It won't be an easy journey, but a worthwhile one. If you have any questions, you can email me. Good luck!

Answer 4

There is a great article in this month's Parenting Magazine that talks about how autism spectrum diagnoses have skyrocketed over the past couple of decades. You definitely aren't alone and there is a LOT of support out there. Grab a copy of the magazine because it lists a bunch of support groups at the end of the article. You'll also be heartened to read that many children have a fantastic quality of life after getting early intervention at a specialized preschool.

Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, I worked at a college as a counselor for students with disabilities. Many of the students I worked with had Autism or Asperger's and they were able to be quite successful at college and beyond.

Of course you are shocked that your child has gotten this diagnosis and nobody likes to see their child struggle. I think once you start looking into preschools you'll find many others out there who share your situation.

Answer 5

You don't want to hear this but you need to. It's time to exit the pity party. Your grieving is not healthy for you or your child. Educate yourself as much as possible and get on with life. Your child needs you to be strong and teach him about the world (in different ways). He's the same child he's always been, just now he has a diagnosis. Now that you know he's autistic, you are better equiped to help him. It won't be easy but there are supports out there if you need them. But most important is moving beyond the shock you describe. Try to minimize your emotions and look at your situation for what it is. You've been dealt a slightly different hand than most. You can fold or find a way to play your cards. Your son doesn't need you to fold.

Answer 6

Try the Gluten-free Casein-free diet. It worked very well for my children. It is a little tough at first, but well worth the effort. In a matter of months my children were doing much better. One is completely typical now and the other almost typical. Check out tacanow.org They have a great page about starting the gfcf diet slowly.

We also did ABA, AIT, some supplements, ST, OT, and PT.

There is hope and there is recovery.

check out the sites below. Good luck!

Answer 7

Here is a spiritual answer so have an open mind.

"The autistic human is one who represents part of the next evolution of humans. Their old mental tools are not incomplete, but rather, evolved, and therefore gone. The butterfly does not think like a worm, but the society of worms won't understand that . The autistic child is overloaded with unsorted crass input in a low energy world. He expects elegant and refined energy communication and does not fit in with the current unevolved language that is given. If you had to exist in a land where everyone simultaneaously shouted and motioned to you in groans and grunts that were not in the least understandable, you might begin to relate. The noise and confusion would become frustrating, and it would quickly overcome you. You would beg to be released! You would ask for things to be reduced to simplicity - for your own sanity.

There is no anomaly or defect. He is a glimpse of the future. By the way, all of these children respond best to love - the greatest universal communication."

Answer 8

There are so many ways to help him. You can find him therapy and this will help so much. My best friend's son is autistic and she was told that he would never be able to live in a 'normal society' and he is now 6 and in a regular kindergarten class and can read on a 2nd grade level and a whiz at math.. so please do not lose Hope with your child. You can most likely get SSI and this can help you pay for resource and therapy for your baby. My Godson would have some bad issues.. like pulling on his eyes and making them bleed.. so if he can make it through this.. you both can too. There was some exercises that they would do .. like putting some weights in a back pack and having him wear it and this would release some chemicals in his brain and he would relax and quit hurting himself. So you make it through this.

Answer 9

my nephew was diagnosed a litle after 2years old (is is about to turn 3)he is getting speach therapy and social interaction classes, he does not speak yet just certain sounds but he knows how to ask for things. They say that sometimes the kids just snap out of the symptoms, there are groups out there that will help (usually at no cost) the teachers are great and they do help alot, ask your doctor for any local groups that do that kind of thing

best of luck and dont loose hope

Answer 10

The diagnosis is good (that you now know) and hopefully you can get him some treatment. There are ways of teaching/training your son out of his behaviors that will be very beneficial to him. There are ABA programs that might work for him. We will be having people coming to our home to do this program with my daughter and I hear its great. With a little hard work and a lot of love your son can have a wonderful life!