How do I get my two year old to stop "grunting" and just ask for the things she wants?

Question

This has begun fairly recently. She has been able to say "juice", "more", "that", "please", and other words used to request things since she was about 10 months old or so, perhaps a little late, but she learned alot at one time and seemed to be up to scale with others her age until around January when she turned two.
She just kinda stopped using words. For example, when she wants her cup filled she holds it up and says, "ugh ugh!" I ask her if she can say, "juice, please" but she continues to grunt. I have tried declining her request until she decides to use words, but it never works out. She just throws this huge tantrum, which is also something new. The other day, when she didn't get what she wanted, she screamed and cried for over an hour! She would pull on the collar of my shirt, but when I would try to hold her she would scream even harder and pull away from me.
Is this just "the terrible twos" or is it something I should really be concerned about?

I try to make her tell me. Over and over. But she gets so mad. Are hour long tantrums really normal?

Answer 1

I hear you... my oldest could have a tantrum for an hour to two hours, over something seemingly simple such as being asked to say "please" when requesting something. The most important part is to keep your cool, and as much as it does- not let it get to you. If you show that her tantrum is bothering you- she "wins". If you loose it, she wins. Also, you have to stand your ground. If she goes two hours throwing a fit because you won't give her the juice she wants- so be it. You are ultimately trying to show her that no matter how long she cries, you can hold out. Yeah, it's a battle of wills, and with her newfound determination and autonomy, she will push it until she collapses from exhaustion. Put her down, and walk away. Go out of the room she is in. Around this age, some children revert in their behavior- doing things like stopping talking. Sometimes, this can be indicative of stress to changing situations at home, or it can be a sign of a developmental disorder. You can rule these out by taking your child to their pediatrician to check it out. However, if it is just typical two-year-old defiance, then your best defense is a good offense. Recognize her triggers (things that set her off), plan for interventions (distractions), and stick to your guns (stand your ground).

Answer 2

This is a typical 'battle of wills' and every time you back down, she is that much more in charge. When she points and grunts, repeat the name of the item , and if she won't say it. Don't give it to her. when the temper tantrum starts, put her in her own space, close the door and don't go in until she stops. It may take a couple of times, but there isn't any fun throwing a fit without an audience. When she does say the word, tell her what a good girls she is. You better be in charge now, or you will have hell on wheels down the road. You are the parent, so be one. Been there done that. Best wishes

Answer 3

as a mom of a child who could not talk till she was 2 and a half, a couple of others have suggested having her tested thats a good idea--if she can hear and all of the neccessary parts of her mouth and throat are working properly then the next step could be very hard if you are not willing to go all the way with the following suggestions

1 tell her that if she wants something she needs to use her words.

2 if she has a tantrum -ignore her or send her to her room and tell her when she is done and is ready to use her words she can come out---take her if necc. then leave and do not say anything to her.

3 if you give her something she has never seen before or ever heard the name of tell her the first time you will say the word and then see if she can copy you--if she tantrums see number 2

4 get some other suggestions from a speech therapist or other specialist----for my daughter she could not hear us for the first two yrs and we played lots of games to help her learn new words (doing things like saying on/off using a light switch, rhyming words even when they did not make sense, and looking at picture books(be sure they have real pictures-like photos this helps match real for real items)and repeating over and over again

good luck

Answer 4

I wouldn't worry too much about this. My nephew went through the same thing. He would grunt when he wanted things. The strange thing was, the grunt was always the same for the same request. For example, if he wanted water the grunt would be the same grunt from the last time he requested water. I thought this was very strange, but he has seemed to grow out of it. We just simply stopped using 'baby talk' when speaking to him and made a point of sounding out words, he eventually got better at it, and now he speaks just fine. So I think that with the proper guidance she will be able to put this grunting stage behind her. You just have to be patient. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Keep telling her to use her words. She knows them. I went through something similar. I told her "Mommy doesn't know what 'uh uh uh' means. Use your words and tell me what you need." She would also get that temper tantrum thing but um, I believe in corporal punishment and that was REALLY short lived. The screaming? Oh, no. Put her in her room and close the door-making sure there is nothing in her room that will hurt her. Ignore the crying. When she realizes that all that noise is NOT going to make her get her way, she will start knowing who is the boss and that you are not about that noise right there.

Answer 6

If you know she can say those words, you make her say them before you give her what she wants. This is very normal, and you continuing to give her what she wants with the grunts is only encouraging. Its not going to change over night but, thats what you're going to have to do. She has to begin using her words. Let her know why you're not giving her what she wants. "USE YOUR WORDS HONEY" If you're not sure what she wants, make her point and tell it the name of whatever it is she wants. Of course she is going to throw a tantrum...thats what 2 year olds do cause they haven't quite figured out how to express frustration. You teach her that. Definitely a terrible two symptom

Answer 7

Yes, hour long tanrums are normal. that doesn't mean they are pleasant or easy to tolerate, but they do happen.

Please do not listen to the advice to spank your daughter and isolate her. I am not really sure how violence and isolation would encourage her to speak. If anything, it will encourage her to shut down.

My son was also a late talker. We spent lots of time with speech pathologists. What we learned is this:

1. Children will speak to the best of their ability.

2. late talkers often seem to "lose words"

it may be that there is more at play here. I would suggest getting some professional intervention.

Good luck to you!

Answer 8

Yes it is the terrible twos. Ignore the tantrums and ignore her grunts, the tantrums are in order to get your attention because you're not paying attention to the grunts. Eventually she will understand that when she SPEAKS she will get the attention she seeks.

Answer 9

Has she lost the ability to use all her words? Has she regressed in any other areas of ability? If so, talk to your doctor - could be the start of some form of autism. If it's just when asking for things, then it's just the age - be patient and consistent with telling her the proper way to ask for something.

Answer 10

Ask your doctor to check her out, and if it's nothing, stop giving in to her.

So what if she throws a fit for an hour? Pop her in her room and let her do it there. Explain to her that no one wants to hear it and she will not get her way acting like that. When she's ready to use her words, you will give her what she wants.