I work with this girl. We have been pretty flirty with one-another for awhile. We share very personal stories with one another which is a very big turn-on for me. However, here is the hang-up. We are both married to other people. I am very intrested in pursuing her. My question is: How can I find out if she is intrested in having an affair with me without offending her and coming off like a total jerk? Please don't judge me...I wasn't looking for this; it found me. Any help would be appriciated.
2007-03-15 10:38:45 · 18 answers · asked by kirkpilot1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm so in your shoes right now only that hes the only one married. If shes going along with flirting with you I think you should try it. but be slow with it at first. ask her if she would like to go have some lunch with you. make sure not to make things weird or anything just say lunch. I think if shes flirting with you shes in for the ride it just takes time. all i have to say is don't rush things. still be flirty tho
2007-03-15 10:49:55 · answer #1 · answered by nicole88 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babe'
Your setting your self up for disaster as well as hurt. Do you really want someone who is unable to keep a commitment? Do you really care so little for your own family. Leave this home wrecker alone. start trying to look at your spouse in a new light, let her know that your getting bored. Talk about what each of you need from each other. try dating again and spending time with your family. Go on walks, go to the beach, go on picnics, get pedicures together, help your spouse to set up a candle light dinner, take a bubble bath together w/the wife(spouse),there are many free things out there. have game night. trust you own judgment, you must have been in love once. If all else falls, seek counseling. If you have children, then they are your flesh and blood, don't they deserve 2 loving parents. the world is often tough enough, don't add fuel to the fire.
Best wishes for a great life!
2007-03-15 10:52:19 · answer #2 · answered by lorianne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask her if she was interested in pursuing something after splitting up with your respective spouses. Tell her that you respect the relationships your already in enough to not want to ruin the lives of the people who are in them even more by starting something before a divorce. However, if you are really sure you want to have an affair ask her to lunch somewhere discreet. Regardless, let her know how you feel if you sincerly think she is unhappy in her marriage.
2007-03-15 10:51:15 · answer #3 · answered by Krista 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok hun, i wont judge, ill just give you my honest and deepest advise (without any attitude), I think this would not be fair to your wife, i think that it would'nt be fair to her either, just try real hard, (very hard, even if it hurts) to hold back the flirting and be truthful to your wife, if you cant then at least have the decency and curage to tell your wife (even if it brakes her heart) how you feel about this other women and hopefully she will help you through this. Confide in her (your wife) to help you through your problems, If you dont want to tell her and you feel feelings for her then get a divorce (but then again you do love your wife, dont you?).. Be strong and do the right thing (not just for you but for all of you).
2007-03-15 10:49:44 · answer #4 · answered by chinaz777 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because it found you doesn't mean you have to answer. If you are going to have an affair then at least be kind enough to your wife and ask for a Divorce. If you were any kind of a man you would stop this now.
2007-03-15 10:42:52 · answer #5 · answered by Jacuzzi Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u cant not come off as a total jerk to her because u r gah u promised ur wife u would always love her ovbiously u dont anymore so at least have the balls to be man and tell ur wife...o and id say shes not interested cause i mean ew and girls like to talk to guys bout personal stuff so get over urself
2007-03-15 11:07:47 · answer #6 · answered by Hottie w/ a Bottie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, look at your situation. Do you like your wife better, or this girl? If you pick your wife, don't pursue the girl. If you like the girl better, keep getting more foward with your flirting. If she backs off, let it be. If she goes with it, wait until you're sure, then bring it up about how you like her.
2007-03-15 10:43:16 · answer #7 · answered by Taylor Swift Lovah™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your risking your marriage over a fling? Go take care of yourself. Are you serious?? Guys like you make me sick. It didn't find you, you create your own stuff and soon enough you'll be lying in it. I'll pray for your poor wife who could actually be with an honest man with real balls.
2007-03-15 10:49:16 · answer #8 · answered by Elie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. well, you could try and kiss her or do something along those lines and if she rejects if say you're sorry & it wont happen again, but if she kisses you back, say something like "im sorry, i just couldn't resist. And say something about her husband. Like i hope he won't mind or something. Then if she has a backbone, and it sounds like she does, she'll let you know if she's interested in you as well. Keeping this quiet could be tough though, maybe you should look into getting a divorce.
2007-03-15 10:48:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Any way you put your gonna come off as a jerk and offend her in some kind off a way.
2007-03-15 10:50:13 · answer #10 · answered by You Lames! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋