i am getting exasperated......advice needed please...Border Collie?

Question

i have been training my Border Collie for going on a week now, and the results have been amazing. I rescued her, 3 months ago, but she was a tad disobedient, and had issues, i appreciate that, and have conquered her fears over the months, and i am now in the process of training her. She has responded, so well, to a firm voice (no hitting, i would never do that)..just, showing who is boss, through the voice. I have her at a word, literally, and i am actually proud of that, she responds to me so well, and we have bonded, i love her to bits, she loves me back. My problem, is my hubby, he is too soft with her, his friend called round tonight, she did her usual go mad act..i sent her to bed,,pointed my finger, told her to stay!..she did!..Whe nthe friend left, i was upstairs, she went nuts, i asked my hubby, why did you not make her do, like i do? he said "i tried" she ignored me!!..Am i wasting my time here?...i have worked so hard with her, i am so angry, feel he is undoing my hard work?

Answer 1

Well done for getting on so well. Just remember that you have only been training for a VERY short time (and have made amasing progress). If you keep the training up and as time goes on your dog will generally become much more settled and happy, and the bad behaviours she still shows will slowly improve, it just takes some time (maybe even a year or two). To keep you motivated you can keep a diary of all of your dogs reactions to things, noting when she is bad and good. things will change slowly and may not be noticed, so looking back over a diary can remind you of the progress made.

Don't worry your husband wont undo your good work, she will still respond to you, but it would be great if he could control your dog too.

your dog responds so well to you because you have built a bond with her whilst training. Encourage your husband to do some simple training with her, things like sit, stay, drop etc. This will help your dog to bond to your husband as well as you and give him more confidence that he can control her when he needs to.

If he doesn't seem keen to train your dog then maybe think of some fun games he can play with the dog and train at the same time.

Hope all goes ok, and well done again.

Answer 2

I have a Border Collie, and have always had them and a thing about the breed is that they will often only take commands from one person. She obvioulsy sees you as the Alpha dog and not your husband. Your husband will need to get equally involved with training her so that she responds equally to him as she does to you. He is probably being truthful when he says he tried and she did ignore him - this is not uncommon with working dogs who have a bond with their "master". (Remember, border collies were bred for working and this is built in.)
He is probably not undoing any of your work here as your dog only listens to you. You and him need to do some commands together, him rewarding the dog, and in no time at all, she will also respond to him. They're such intelligent dogs that it won't take long at all.
Enjoy your Border Collie - they're faithful, loyal, beautiful friends for life.

Answer 3

Simple, she knows she can be "naughty" with your husband and more important in the pack hierarchy within your home she knows, she is above him as she can do with him as she wills.

She acknowledges you are the Alpha female and acts accordingly with submissive behaviour. He must assert himself and let it be known he is above her.

Consider this, Border Collies are most intelligent if not the most intelligent of breeds. We have had three over the years. She will observe your behaviour towards your husband and his reaction and act accordingly. Do you see what I mean without being offensive? I suggest you must work with your husband as a cohesive team where you both are consistent in directing and training the dog. Demonstrating where she fits in the social order of the home.

Early days are formative days, I applaud your training methods and wish you every success. The rewards will be immense. Good luck.

Answer 4

The dog recognizes you as dominant, but your husband as someone on equal footing with her and not you. In dog terms you're the alpha and your husband's not, so to your dog it's ok to disobey him.

Your husband needs to participate in your dog's training as well if you want to correct this and your collie has to know your husband is dominant as well. He might consider taking her to beginner obedience classes of some sort or you could set up a program that builds your husband's confidence in being the 'alpha' and your dog's confidence in your husband's position in the pack. Collies are smart, so kudos for getting this far (:

Answer 5

She's not respecting him as the "Shepherd", but she does respect you.

I own Australian Shepherds, and they're pretty close in personality to Borders. You see, the shepherd breeds (borders, aussies, collies, germans, etc) were bred to work WITH the shepherd while the heeler/herders (cattle dogs, corgis, etc) were bred to work FOR the Shepherd.

Borders are practically able to anticipate what you want them to do before you even let them know that you want it. They are highly intelligent and overly obediant, but only to those whom they respect. If your husband does not act as a shepherd, she will treat him like a sheep. and the sheep have no say in what the border collie can and can not do. Its a simple as that. He HAS to take control for this to work. Borders are almost TOO smart.

Grab yourself a book about borders and read it when you're bored. its amazing what you can learn about the breed. they are truely amazing

Answer 6

after all said and done a dog like most mammals is wild. you cannot have total control on her. your husbands relationship with her is not and cannot be the same, which is good as this will help her define personalities. do you remember when you were a child and mum said no but dad said yes? its the same scenario. you are not wasting your time and your husband is probably not trying to undo your work, he is probably just being what he has learnt to be throughout life

Answer 7

First off, congratulations on doing so well with training your rescue dog!

Now to train your husband...

Dogs, like human kids, figure out pretty quickly who has to be listened to and who doesn't. Here's the thing, though - dogs aren't human, and don't view the world exactly the way humans do. They don't "hate" someone who is firm (as you pointed out, NOT VIOLENT, just firm). They don't love someone who lets them get away with things more (although they do figure out how to manipulate such a person).

Dogs, like their wolf ancestors, live in a hierarchy. One dog at the top of the pack, then everyone else in order. They spend a lot of time figuring out who stands where in the pecking order, and dogs under the Alpha (lead) spot expect to take orders from dogs above them.

Here's where your husband comes into play. Does he want to be #3 beneath you and your dog? Right now, that's where he stands, at it's not healthy for either of them. Situations will come up from time to time where it's important, even critical, for your dog to listen to your husband (for example, what if she gets out and runs into the street? Your husband's ability to get her to come when called will be all that keeps your dog from being run over. What if a child comes over and makes a lunge for your dog? Your dog trusting you to take care of her - because you're a good leader - helps you keep her from telling the kid to "back off" with her teeth).

Also, dogs HAVE to have a hierarchy. They aren't happy or secure without one. Everyone has to know his or her place, and where everyone else fits. If your husband doesn't act as a leader, then your dog feels that someone must take that position, and it'll have to be her. This will cause you many problems as time goes by.

Wasting your time? No! If you back down and let your dog run the house, she'll be put in the stressful "Alpha Dog" position - not good for anyone, including her. Get your husband to attend an obedience class with you and your dog and have him work with her half of the time or more (a "positive reinforcement" class, please). This will help you socialize your rescue dog, help your husband become comfortable with working with the dog, and help your husband and your dog bond so the dog is as much his as yours. Good luck!

Answer 8

If he will not reinforce your traing make her stay with you at all times
get her more than one bed. Also try using a squirt bottle with a couple drops of lemon extract in it. She will soon decide that minding is much better than the bottle.
I have 9 dogs and all I have to do is pick it up and the room is clear of dogs. I do this when I am answering the door I want them to bark when someone knocks but quiet after that I don't want to be talking over them.
Good Luck

Answer 9

Collies are working, herding dogs and need to follow a leader. You are the main pack leader of him, so he thinks your husband is another of the pack and doesn't have to be respected.

When training your dog you must have your husband there giving commands also, or else this type of dog will only listen to his one pack leader.

Your husband has to step up his position in your pack! :)

Answer 10

Find a dog training centre and send your hubby with the dog. Sounds like your hubby and dog would benefit.