Dealing With Strict/Overprotective Parents...?

Question

My Mother is extremely and ridiculously strict. Its embarrassing-I have to lie all the time to people just so i wont be embarrassed & Im almost sixteen. Ive never done anything bad i.e. smoking, drugs, wild parties etc.
I cant:
Listen to Music I Like (music is BAD)
Watch TV (well some)
' ' Movies (some but they flip about PG13)
Date
Wear Makeup (they flip out when I barely have any on)
Talk To Guys (again, flip out and Im not whorish at all)

You get the picture. Its frickin ridiculous and I dont know what to do. I feel like killing myself. They just dont understand I want to be my own person and have a social life. I have to 'sneak' everything (like music). Theyre always like 'who are you talking to', 'What are you doing'
I make good grades, Im not blatant, Im not a slut...I dont understand. I want Freedom. Normal people who complain about there life---B.S.-they wonder why I walk around all 'emo', as Ive been called.
Does anyone have any advice?I cant take this anymore :*(

Answer 1

How old are you ? under 16 ? they have the right, we do not live in a safe world. You being a girl, there guys who have one goal; guess what it is ! Who suffers ? the girl, with HIV, pregnancy, addicted to crack. Then you are swapping sex for crack, I am dealing with this exact thing in our own family. Started very simple, so after 4 rehabs, jail, still looking at more fines, this person's eyes were finally opened. We let our temptations, desires, hormones and stupidity guide us.
Understand that your parents CARE for you, and do not want you to flush your life down the toilet,

Answer 2

Being a parent and a grandparent I think I can see this from bothsides , because my parents were very strict also , but even worse they were alcoholics and wouldn't just ask questions , they would beat you for even an improper thought spoken out loud enough for them or anyone else to hear . I once talked to a counselor at my school and he intern broached the subject with my mother and ,, well my next trip was to the emergency room for well lets just say , injuries that weren't gotten as described on the emergency records. So it's maybe your parents are a little overboard , But believe me they probably have your best interest at heart . It's kind of like the kid that's feeling sorry for himself because he won't get to go dance at the eighth grade dance because he broke his leg , then he see's the war veteran in his wheel chair and he has no legs, then he thinks to himself well maybe I don't have it so bad after all.So unless they are dressing you funny or beating the life out of you, maybe things aren't so bad and maybe they are guilty of just wanting to protect you and keep you safe.Believe me it could be much worse I carry real scars all over my body to this day from my childhood beatings, good luck it sounds like you may have some valid concerns and maybe your parents are so use to protecting thier child, maybe a nice long talk is in order .It might give them thought as to how good of a young person they have raised and hence maybe a little more freedom to grow is deserved and earned.Maybe some compromises can be worked out.

Answer 3

Your parents sound like they might be a little over protective of you. Why do you think they are this way? They are this way because they love and care about you and they are trying to keep you safe and out of harms way. It is a pity that many girls have parents who don't pay any attention to what the girl does. That is another case entirely though.

I think you need to sit down and discus the situation with your folks and remind them you are almost 16 and you would like to have a few privileges and freedoms. Point out the fact that you have never been in trouble, make good grades in school and that it is because of the way you were raised that you are this way. Tell them that if they give you a little more freedom you are not going to go wild and abuse it.

Answer 4

OK this is going to sound stupid coming from a 14 year old, but my mom and dad used to be like this since ever, but when they got divorced, my dad went away, he kinda stopped caring, OK he did but it just wasn't the same him not being home and stuff, and my mom stopped caring to, so now my mom has got a 12 hour job (one week at night another week in the day) and she just got another job, in which she has to go like Fridays and stuff, and besides all that she "works" (sarcastic much?) during the time she's not working the other to jobs (being a lawyer sucks!) so i take care of my 8 year old sister (whose a brat!) 24/7 and still have to juggle with my studies, and clean the house, so i have NO! social life outside school (which isn't that good) so back to the point my mom doesn't care that much about me or my sister anymore, and still finds the time to critique me, about the way i am, the music i like, the TV i watch, how i dress (sometimes), so i think its better they actually pay attention to you, but do talk to them about it, tell them how you feel about that, and they got two choices 1.- they respect your feelings and lay off you a little bit, or 2.- they laugh their heads off, i really hope they go for the first option :-)

Answer 5

Have you considered having a sit down heart to heart talk with your parents. As much as they may not want to hear what you have to say, you need to let them know you want to be heard and you are no longer a child. Be mature about it. If this doesn't work how about writing them a letter to get their attention. Address the letters separately. One to mom. One to dad. Tell them they need to give you a little breathing room to try and figure out your life as your becoming an adult. Don't be to hard on them, as strict as they sound to you NOW, they are just looking after you and have your best interests at hand.. My dad was like that.. You will look back one day and realize they were thinking of you and they do love you. Good luck.. try talking.. Communication is key.. and it goes both ways.

Answer 6

I think like most parents they just want to "shield" u from whats wrong with the world. But they also have to understand that without any life xperience that when u do get out into the world u will be like a lost little child. Have u ever tried 2 sit down with them and say i do everything u guys want me to do what more can i do??? maybe u should ask them 2 start small little baby steps like letting u go somewhere and giving u a curfew and u making sure u make it home like 5-10 minutes b4 the time that was set. maybe that will show them "hey we can let our child out" and maybe everything else will follow

Answer 7

protective is the operative word here, and, yes it does sound like they have gone a little overboard.

Why don't you pick the parent that is the least overboarad and talk to that one.. offer them a compromise.. give them llimits that you are willing to live with if they are. Meeting grade requirements, they meet friends that you are going to be with.. no dating ono-on-one, they know what movie you are going to see... you will bring home the ticket stub if they want.. it's obvious that they want to build some trust.. Give them a way to do it. When parents have their backs against the wall, and unfortunately, the dangers inthe world today have put them against the wall, the knee jerk reaction is NO. Give them a way out of the corner.. Tell them that you will call in on a regular basis.. they can call you to verfy you are where you say you will be. But, my dear.. get a watach with a timer... be prepared to live up to your end of the deal.. as you earn the extra rope, don't abuse it.. tht extra rope, whe you blow it, will also hang you.

But a one on one conversation is always better... 2 against 1 very rarely works to the "one's" advantage. You start out numbered for the get go.

Good Luck

Answer 8

You have to be trustworthy if you want to be trusted. It sounds like your parent's have cause to worry. "I feel like killing myself." ??? I think you need to see a counselor. Not being able to listen to the music you like and having a parent that wants to know who your friends are, really isn't a reason to want to end it all. As far as wearing make up and dating and talking to guys, your mom is just worried about you. A heart is a terrible thing to be broken and I think your mom is just trying to prevent your first heart break. It happens to us all. It is unpreventable. It's hard for parents to let go of their children and let them grow up. Start telling your mom the truth about how you feel, and eventually she will start trusting you with more. She was a kid once too, and probably remembers the trouble she did or could've gotten into. Things are so much more dangerous for you kids today, it is hard for us not keep you a little closer to us then our parents did for us.

And hang in there. You are much stronger than you think. There is always tomorrow and the next day, and things can't always be bad.

Answer 9

you have to talk to your parents.. I know it will be really hard but first tell them you love them and you don't mean any disrespect by the conversation your bring up, but that you would like to have a little freedom in your choices because if they don't let up then you will just straight rebel.. (my grandmothers 3 sons were raised that way and they are all 3 still really bad to this day) They have to let you express yourself and love you the way you are but assure them that you will do your best to make wise choices, and when they do give you alittle freedom don't screw it up.. show them they made the right choice.. (My father was the same way and when I rebeled I really rebeled and I became a teenage mom and it was a hard life..) but they have to let you make small mistakes when you are young so you know what to expect when you are out of the house.. (you have like 3 more years till college, really just talk to them and show them that you don't want to go against them, but that you want more trust and respect to be your own person.

Answer 10

Your parents although they sound a little extreme think they are doing right by you. I would have a talk with them explain how you have not given them any problems and ask them if they feel they have done a good job raising you. If they think they did a good job then you earned some freedom. I would ask for some time off for good behavior. Good Luck