When you are in a relationship for a while you both kinda lose that, needing to be around each other all the time and wanting to have sex ALL the time.
Is there a reason for that? Is it normal? Or am I just wierd. I love my bf more than anything and we live together and have been together for like one and a half years. But things are just kinda like "Hey" peck on the mouth then we just do whatever like get on the computer or watch tv.
Does anybody know what I am talking about??
2007-03-15 09:20:57 · 17 answers · asked by TNL 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ya, I do. I was in a similar situation not too long ago. You guys have fallen into a routine and now you are stuck. You should try planning something special to do together. Maybe go away for the weekend or go to a game or something. Just try changing things up a little bit.
2007-03-15 09:24:43 · answer #1 · answered by softballchk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was also in a similar situation. It's hard when living together not to fall into a routine where it almost seems more like bro/sis verses bf/gf. Try to plan a long weekend out of town to jumpstart things again. See if you guys can try to do 1 or 2 new things a month. Make it a goal and see what comes of it after a while. As far as the sex issue, bring a toy into the bedroom or ask him what really turns him on. Maybe its something you haven't done in a while or haven't done yet.
2007-03-15 16:29:22 · answer #2 · answered by randomfacts22 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, at this point in the relationship you are experiencing complacency. Youve gotten used to each other and the personality of the relationship, Therefore things now seem dull and boring and you should look to open new doors. Too many people make relationships more complicated than they really need to be, then wonder why. There is one universal guideline we all should abide by when in a relationship or marriage. HAVE FUN!!
2007-03-15 16:33:07 · answer #3 · answered by element_op 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just like a fire, relationships need work to keep the spark alive. Make an effort to spend quality time together. Also keep things like TV, food, & computer out of the bedroom. Have a romantic evening together as often as possible.
2007-03-15 16:27:26 · answer #4 · answered by perplexed 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know EXACTLY what you are talking about and I HATE it - I'm still interested in enjoying life - with him - but he seems so content now that I'm here that he sees no reason to spend time with me. I'm so lonely. It was him that wanted to be with me - I wasn't ready to be in a tight relationship so I didn't let him even kiss me for a month - I was going through a rough time and just wasn't interested in jumping into something while my head was still so confused. It was him who was wanting to get married and have me live with him. It was him who was up my *** all the time - now - he is playing world of warcraft constantly - we don't sleep in the same bed and I only get a kiss when one of us is leaving or returning home. Now, I must tell you - he is WONDERFULLY talented and intelligent - something I have looked for in a man for many years. But what I had to warm up to was that he is 4 years older than me - not really tall and stocky - not fat - just a stocky solid man. I don't even care that he can't have sex - but I would like to snuggle or even just sit close to each other like we used to. He said it isn't me - he is just depressed right now ( he DOES have alot of personal issues that are all coming to a head right now) and that he loves me more than he has ever loved anyone and just having me in his life makes it easier for him - but I can't shake off the feeling that his complacently is something to do with him no longer being interested in me sexually. I was a centerfold - so I'm not ugly or fat - but it is really shaking my confidence as a mate. We've only been together for a little over a year so this entire thing scares me. He bought me a BEAUTIFUL 1 carat diamond ring with three stones in a platinum setting - very classy - and he is good to me in financial ways - but what I really want is a close relationship with him. I'm just not the kind of person who can go get sex with someone else until I end a relationship. We've both been married 2 times and I feel he has emotionally closed down - not just toward me, but toward his children too... He is the most wonderful person I have ever met and still has so much to contribute to the world around him - I hate to see him giving up on life - but that is what it looks like to me. I'm at a loss to know what to do from here...
2007-03-15 16:39:41 · answer #5 · answered by sweetlady1155 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yep... after 12 yrs of marriage.. It is hard to explain. I do know what you're talking about though. It doesn't mean that there is no longer love, but a zone of comfort has arrived. I've been there and am still there !! You can always spice things up if you want the passion back !!
2007-03-15 16:28:46 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes...i know exactly what you are talking about and it sux!...you have to do things to spice stuff up...Surprise him when he comes home from work in a sexy lingere outfit with candles lit and stuff...anything like that...start doing new things together like going out more and to new places....Don't let the relationship die down and get boring because that always leads to breaking up! Good Luck!:)
2007-03-15 16:25:38 · answer #7 · answered by *Mariah* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this happens for two reasons. 1) Lust subsides, 2) Sometimes people start taking each other for granted.
If you miss the passion maybe you could find ways of injecting it back into the relationship?
2007-03-15 16:25:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. It's normal.
Your relationship is just maturing past the "wowing" stage. You're both beginning to develop everyday habits of things you enjoy doing, rather than spending time trying to impress eachother and show constant affection.
2007-03-15 16:29:11 · answer #9 · answered by Ritz Grimarren 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yep, it's called normalcy...you can't maintain the adrenalin rush of being together...it's when many relationships break down (or up as the case may be)
Find something in common that you both have a passion for (aside from each other) and you will rekindle some of the other passion because of it!
2007-03-15 16:28:38 · answer #10 · answered by Grace 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋