My Marine is leaving on our first deployment, and I need ideas on how to cope with him being gone.?

Question

Also any ideas for homecoming would be great as well. Thanks to all!!

Answer 1

Just stay busy when he is gone, when I left my wife got a job and worked like 50 plus hours a week. she would also right letters to me everyday just telling me about her day just like we would talk when sitting down for dinner, I tried to do the same but did not always have time. plus when you are gone it is always nice to hear from loved ones at home.

As for homecoming, I can assure you there will only be one thing that he'll want. You should be able to figure that one out.

Answer 2

Get involved with the unit and others who's "Marines" are gone as well. I don' know what it's called in the Marines but in the Army they are called Family Readiness Groups. Or with a Bible Study group.

Learn a new skill, foreign language, etc.
Learn a new hobby - scrapbooking, knitting, etc.
Make a reading list of books you want to read
Keep a journal

You don't say if you have children or not but get out and about if you do. Set a good routine. Swap childcare with others going through the same thing.

Swap dinners with a friend --- one night a week they cook, one night you do.

Volunteer on base (- Comunity Service, Thrift Shop, etc), at a soup kitchen/shelter, at your church,etc. Meeting others needs helps you cope with your own.

Mark off each day on a calendar as you go to bed -- you can count day by day or by paydays. If you have kids let them do it.

Oh and I disagree with Dave... while what he says is true to a point my hubby wanted to know what was going on at home and for me to still lean on him if I had issues. I'm not talking about calling him or emailing and saying I don't know how to call the tow truck......but everyday stuff he will probably want to know. You can tell him your problems & let him know you got through it at the same time. War is Hell on the homefront too and sometimes even worse because of the Not knowing.

Don't worry about homecoming yet...... that will come soon enough! and there are tons of ideas!

Answer 3

Yes, you are in a tough spot, just like so many. Staying busy is a great idea, but the reality is a little hard to take at times. I understand this. My advice is to stay connected to something outside of your own home. Remain in the community by volunteering. Learn how to run the household and everything in it by going to the library and checking out books. Its boring but the knowledge will come in handy. Call up old friends and chat on a regular basis. Shared laughter is a great way to pass time. You could get a job or not liking that, you could learn how to do something that the pioneers did. You can combine your love of (fill in the blank) with a sport somehow. For instance, I like to identify wild medicinal plants, so I hike and rock climb and then when I get home, I see what home remedie I can create from it. (I don't pick the actual plant. I go get it at the health food store.)
Whatever you pick to do, make a way to have fun while you are doing it. And, good luck to you and your Marine!

Answer 4

I can tell you one thing NOT to do.

Do NOT write him, send him a video, a tape recording or e-mail and complain about YOUR problems. Trust me, no matter how bad you think your problems are at home, his are far worse. He has people shooting at him, trying to blow him up and otherwise trying to ruin his life. He has to eat food he may not like, drink a ton of water and wear 40 pounds of clothing in a desert. The last think he needs is for his wife to tell him she wrecked the car, the house burned down, and that the dog died.

Your letters should be the high point of his day, filled with good news and love. He should be able to sit down, pull out your letter and when he is finished it, feel that what he is doing is worth while. He should want to read the letter over and over again, just for the lift of spirit it gives him.

As far as you coping, join the wives club. All those women are going thru the same thing you are and they can give you a lot of advice and support.

For homecoming, do not go make a bunch of plans. You have no idea what he will want to do. (My wife rented a motel room as she thought the first thing I would want to do is make love. What I really wanted was 5 or 6 beers!)

Lastly, remember, he has seen things you can not imagine. He may be a bit "odd" when he gets home. If he wants to talk about what happened, let him. If he wants to hang with his buddies from his unit to talk, let him. The worst thing for him to do is to keep it all bottled up inside and not talk to anyone.

Answer 5

Friends, work, and family. My hubby used to get deployed 8 months at a time when we were just dating. It was MISERABLE for the first few weeks. But he'd email and call when he got a chance. I also would send a care package once every couple of weeks. They'd have fun stuff like mags, hard candy, toiletries, pictures, etc. That kept me feeling like we could be connected in some small way. It'll be hard, hon, but you'll do fine. Write lots of letters and spend as much time with him as you can before he leaves. Good luck!!

Answer 6

Of course write letters and send care packages.Get more involved in school/work,take up a hobby,volunteer,see your friends/family.I made sure to surround myself with supportive people.I joined a few online military sig.others support groups.I made some great friends.When my Marine was deployed my project was making a scrapbook of everything that he missed.I took pictures,saved ticket stubs,etc.It turned out to be wonderful.He loved looking through it. A deployment survival tip DONT watch the news,it will only worry you!!!!!

For his homecoming I through a welcome home party.I made a banner that said welcome home our hero.I decorated the apartment in patriotic colors.I lined the walk way with little american flags.It looked so cute!!

Answer 7

My wife would be better at answering this that me. But I know she relied a lot on prayer and faith. We communicated as often as possible and made it count. Be positive when you talk to him - he can't do anything about the busted pipes or the baby being sick from over there. He needs to know, but don;t go to him for a solution. Try and not fight. My wife came very self reliant.
The home coming - its hard to say, people react differently to coming home. Just be very PATIENT and let him work back into civlian life at his own pace.
From an OIF vet, thank your husband for his service and thank you for your support.

Answer 8

Well lets get through the being gone part first. Take up a hobby, community involvement, a job, or go back to school.

Answer 9

ur best bet is to keep busy, as it gets lonely and u become depressed, im sure u will think of a great homecoming all on ur own.

Answer 10

The best thing I did for myself was join a gym with child care. I made that my "job" and went everyday and released the stress on a treadmill.